My first post... Who would say... Writing was always a passion of mine, the way we can play with words and create something magnificent.
However I'm pretty sure that I won't be writing anything like that for some time.
I want this first post to be about me and unfortunately there's nothing magnificent about me. But allow me to start...
Daily Masks
What a terrible name for a first post I admit that, however if you knew me you would understand how hard it is for me, how hard it is to share my weaknesses.
All my life I tried to hide my fears and deepest feelings, because it would make me weak. I've learned to dominate the environment around me, to create an aura of self confidence just to avoid talking about the Real Me.
I think that's the reason why I always craved for that warm feeling of submission, my own submission...
I never gave myself like that, I never let anyone touch that part of me, I tried once though...it ended up being a mistake, he was no Dom, he was an abuser and it was traumatic and degrading to say the least.
Not that I would be a good sub anyways, I definitely am a switcher who needs to hold the reins from time to time, but that's the irony, after that "incident" I've been the one holding the reins and now I wish for more....
But I'm trying to change that again! Slowly... Annoyingly slowly... That's just one of the hard things about long distance relationships/dynamics...
Just wish me luck I guess ...