A little fox and her big bad Wolf

Hello lovelies,

So I haven't posted in awhile, and I do apologize about that. So in the past couple weeks we have had a crazy fun rollercoaster. We got to meet new friends! Which if they read this, we love you two and you are super cute together and we cannot wait till we get to see you guys again! We had our first official frustration release session, which I know can be a controversial thing but I will explain. We had our first official punishment which was merited/desired because there was a big mess up on my part. And coincidentally, led to the first BDSM bruise, again I will explain. Lastly, I will discuss a desire to test a limit. 

So frustration release. Sir has a high stress job. He is in a middle position where he is a manager over a department but the higher managers are complete idiots and harassing and just overall dumbasses. So as expected, Sir can come home with high stress that somedays he cannot shake. Those days can be torture on me because all I want to do is help him, but he cannot get out of his own head. So we recently purchased a beautiful rope flogger, where the strands are just braided cotton rope with no ties at the end. The beauty of this flogger is, no matter how hard he hits, it is not a bad hurt on me. Honestly it is a THUNK that sometimes is very pleasant cause it can hit the right spot and just mmmmmmm.... masochist. So one day he got home and he was pissed off at everything that went on that day. He was breaking down and would not leave his chair. I told him he had three options (please don't get mad at my giving him options, it was a tough love clause moment) 1) We could take a walk, a long walk. Play Pokemon GO and just talk out the day. 2) Put on a movie, grab some tequila in tea, and cuddle the whole night through naked. and 3) We do a frustration release scene and promise of after care. I held out my hands and he looked at them and finally spoke saying "you only have two hands, how do I choose from three options?" This made me chuckle and told him pulling on my pony tail would be option 3. Of course he pulled on the pony tail and told me to get in the closet. It is a walk in closet that because of all the clothes and such, makes it a bit noise cancelling thank goodness. He forces me to my knees and he pulls out the rope flogger. We began with front flogging, which was completely new to me. I have a trigger with something coming down from above within eye sight (thank you bad parental moments) and he had been working on it. With this, I wanted Sir not to focus on me, I wanted him to think get into his Dom-space/out of his head-space. He did know that the position could be triggering, so he kept asking "yellow?" (We are on the green/yellow/red system) I finally told him aggressively because the constant asking every 3 seconds sort of hit my nerves "I will tell you when it gets to fucking yellow." He stopped for about 30 seconds and then asked again after a wince from the swing, it was a chest hit. So there was a lot of response of Green. This lasted about 8 minutes until he told me to get on all fours, which I let out a sigh of relief. Dude, kneeling/sitting on your feet can lead to tingly feet and it can hurt. He got nervous and asked what was wrong all worried like, and when I told him my feet had fallen asleep, he rolled his eyes and smirked. As soon as my ass was in the air the full on impacts commenced and most of them would make me present which finally got him out of his head. This whole scene lasted about 20 minutes and it did the trick. To end this little not little paragraph, we did end up on a 1.5 mile walk that night, then cuddled watching netflix drinking tea until we fell asleep. Overall, I am very happy with this idea to assist him through those high stress moments with a little play and I honestly love the time too. 

Now on to my not so happy moment in the BDSM relationship but I did promise myself I would blog about everything. Punishment.  So let me start with how this whole thing started. Sir was having a very sore back, so I suggested a nice hot bath soak. He agreed and had me prepare it. I put in the epsom salt and some bubbles, then my brain said to itself: Oh! peppermint is used in a lot of pain relieving balms and such. So I put in a bit of peppermint oil. Now I have done this before but our dropper decided not to do any stopping and I put in more than I thought. I tested the water and it was pleasantly warm. So Sir got in.  He could not stay in it longer than five minutes because the peppermint was that intense. He even tried to wash it off right after with very little success. He was shaking because no amount of heat helped and any blankets hurt as well. I felt horrible. He refused to talk to me/let me touch him because of how much discomfort/pain he was in. There was no assisting him, and I had a down swing. With me, if I cannot help and I get the sense I fucked up or I am useless, it gets bad. I decided to take a cold shower, shave my legs, and then put the peppermint oil on my freshly shaved legs. It was very uncomfortable. It was not enough in my eyes. So I went into the closet, and brought out our punishment toy, the crop. Now the crop was a pleasure toy for awhile, until he told me he was going super gentle, Sir did one "real" pop with it and I cried and we decided I wasn't a crop girl. Sir gave me the upset stern voice and told me to put it away. I quickly put it away and sat next to him in silence. After what felt hours but probably was only one, Sir tells me to go to the closet. Pulled my hair and told me "on all fours" and then he grabbed the crop. He gave me precise two pops on each ass cheek. The last one on the left side was the worse. He then sat down, and discussed why we had the punishment and then he held me. Now, the punishment wasn't for the peppermint. He actually understood, that was an honest mistake. The punishment was for the fact I took punishing into my own hands and tried to take control. I am the submissive, I am not the one who is supposed to decide if I am to get punishment, or the severity of the punishment. That is only Sir's decision. And it was a great lesson for me, not only because he is my Dominant, but because I had a history of hurting myself when I thought I was in trouble. When I was a little girl, if anyone started yelling and I heard my own name, I would automatically put myself in the corner. I wouldn't even be in trouble and I was always found in the corner. Again, thank you bad parental decisions that led to so many triggers. My parents did try the best they could, but I was a stubborn and easily distractable. That is another story. ANYWAYS THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT OF ME ACTUALLY BRINGING THIS SHIT UP. sorry for yelling. The point is, this is supposed to be a way to help me NOT self hurt anymore. I am to wait till he gives the punishment if he deems the action worthy. And honestly, it is super helpful. We then went on a walk and talked more about it and then the next day, we had an amazing day out to the beach. The only thing was it was always hard to sit down and be comfortably and the reason being which goes into the next part: HE BRUISED MY BUTT!

Now, the last pop I got on my left ass cheek was the most painful. Sir was very impressed with the welt, but we did not expect when we woke up in the morning I would have a crop size black and blue mark on my cheek. Now, is this stopping him from giving my daily ass smacks, nope. Is he going more for the right cheek than the left cheek? Nope. Do I react everytime and does this deter him? NOPE! Now, to be perfectly honest, we have been wanting bruises for awhile. We have had a few scenes now that left beautiful welts. But have we gotten any bruises? nope. This has been very upsetting seeing as other things seem to bruise me so easily accidentally. For example, accidentally hitting my knee on the desk, or the bed post, or dog scratches me. When we are trying for bruises, it NEVER works. It can be a bit annoying. We have even done the warm shower after a scene to try and help the blood flow to make them show and NOTHING. So the fact we get a bruise from a single pop on the ass, it is so confusing. My Sir is proud of himself for it. I was not very appreciative about it at first because of a two hour trip out to the beach... sitting the whole time.... It was not the most comfortable. But today, with Sir pulling a double at his job, I am appreciative about it. I feel it and think of him. It makes me smile. Maybe the peppermint helped with the bruise. 

And lastly, my desire to test a limit. Now, I have taken the BDSM test and it obviously shown I was not about attempting sex in public. Blame the fear of god and Christian guilt, but it was almost a hard limit. While we were out at the beach, Sir brought up the fact he wanted to take me down and ally and have his way. I got excited but super nervous as well. He said he would not though because he knew I would not want to. I asked if this was something he was wanting for awhile and he said yes. Now, I am usually very stubborn, but after that, I have been thinking about it. It sounds thrilling and exciting. Sir has done it before with previous people and he loves the thrill about it. He has been wanting to do it with me since day 1 but I have been so nervous he just never brought it up in earnest until that day. Now I am having daydreams about it and I am tempted to tell him let's do it. Am I still terrified? ABSOLUTELY! What if we get caught? What if the cops are called? What if  kid finds us? All of my fears are sooo....... over the top that I am afraid my fears would ruin the moment. Is this stopping me from wanting to try? NOPE. So, if any of you know of a great way to have sex out in the open for a beginner where you wont get caught, comment. If you even made it all the way to this point, I applaud you because I had to stop and take a nap between parts. 

Okay Lovelies, Thank you for reading I hope you all have a great week. And lets hope Sir and I can do something before I have to go to a work conference next weekend. 

Be safe, have fun. 

Vale

Hello,

So time again to babble on to strangers on the internet because why the hell not. So today my Sir, Marcellus, took us out to a darling little park here in the South where the waters were blue and crystal clear, you could see all the little fishies and everything. The hike was calm and amazing. We then went to a few beautiful antique shops that He pointed out a ring that was gorgeous. He told me to put it on and of course, like magic, it fit perfectly. He paid for it immediately and said I was to wear it everyday. It is going to be a nice addition to the daily collars I wear. I have a hybrid watch that he gave me, that I wear everyday on my left wrist. An anchor on my right wrist. The ring on my left hand, which I have been adoring. And lastly, my necklace, a 1920's  blue firefly. (I would love to show them but I do not have Premium, maybe one day we will decide it is in the budget) These are my forever accessories. Until we have a formal collar, which Sir has said he is looking to find the perfect one, these are the symbol of my submission. And in regards to a collar, I was hesitant first. That is why we decided to start with basic jewelry. Even though it is basic jewelry, I wear it with pride knowing I have given myself to my Sir. I find the idea of the Collar beautiful and, at times, is an ultimate sign of a deep connection and trust. 

With our dynamic, we have decided to make it a complete lifestyle D/s relationship. My Sir gets to choose my look everyday. From the hair on my head, to the shoes I wear, He decides on it all. And quite frankly I get more compliments on my look now than ever before. He also has been having me wear more dark lipsticks out to work and such. Which if I was deciding, I would chicken out. He has pushed my boundaries more and more and I am loving it. He has boosted my confidence which also helps me not only in the bedroom, but also at work as well. I also make sure we are he is fed in the morning, has work clothes for the week, and tea in the evening before bed. Why do I do this? 1) I love providing these little things for him so that his life is easier. 2) Except for the laundry part, Sir and I take our tea and breakfast at the same time, meaning it is a quality moment we share on a daily basis. I love having these little moments that to some, look like I am babying him, but for me this is serving my sir to the best of my abilities. 

He had to remind me something late last night that I believe it is very important and I want to share this dark story that ended up strengthening us. I hit a huge low last night, believing my Sir no longer cared because he went silent, almost completely ignoring me. He wanted me to realize how much of a tantrum I was having and wanted to get through this like the adult I am. However, I could not get out of my own dark place in my mind and I went to the bathroom and cried. "Sir no longer cares about you" "You are not useful, so why should he care?" He came through the door and asked me what I was doing and why. I explained between tears that I felt like I was no longer useful, and that I was terrified he no longer wanted me. He explained to me what he was trying to accomplish with the silence. He reminded me that there is nothing he wants more than me, and that I am all he cares about and all that he wants in life. Nothing else matters to him but me. This is the most important part. He told me that he didn't chose me to because I was useful or not, he chose to be with me because he loved me, through all my faults, all my flaws. He chose me for me, because I bring the only joy to his life. This made me feel so wanted and brought so much joy to my life. There is a saying that I have heard a couple times, not only here, but on other BDSM sites as well that Dom's want to feel needed, and sub's need to feel wanted. I feel like this is so true, when I'm having a low day, the only thing that makes me feel at ease is when Sir tells me I am the only one he wants. For Sir, he knows I need him because I tell him every day, some days he hates me telling him, but he feels reassured by it as well. Even on his low days, when he has me submit, he is able to recover and calm down. 

I got a new little mug that has meant alot to me this year already. The mug has the phrase on it "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone" - Neale Donald Walsch. And that is a fucking great saying for our relationship. If you had told me 2+ years ago I would be loving a man that spanks me to the point of welts, ties me up, and treats me like a cum bucket. I would've told you your were crazy. Now I am kneeling and shakingly waiting in anticipation for my Sir to absolutely ravish me. This by far has been the best decision of my life. Next to driving the 3,000 miles to move in with my Sir. ;)

Be safe and have fun lovelies, Until next time,

Vale

Hello lovelies,

I hope you all had a great week, I know mine was a bit of a roller coaster. So as I sit down to drink my evening tea, I decided it would be a great time to write about last night's adventure; which had alot of fun in it. I got to have my first session with restraints! This is something Marcellus and I have been wanting to do for awhile, however we never could figure a good day to bring them in. 

Last night after a playful shower together, which is always so much fun, Sir instructed me to get on the bed and and to put my wrists close to my ankles. I did as I was told and soon sir put the wrist cuffs on me and as well as the ankle cuffs and linked each to their respected cuff. Left to left, right to right. Sir then proceeded to produce a riding crop with a feather on the other end. With what seemed to be hours of merciless cropping, teasing with the feather, biting, scratching, licking, sucking, thrusting, growling, climaxing, and moaning, Sir finally let his well fucked darling out of the restraints.

Now these are not some leather cuffs or hand cuffs or anything like that. They are soft on the skin side, and velcro on the outer side with a clip to clip to some under the bed lines to easily stretch someone across the bed. (but obviously, he just linked the wrists to the ankles) The are easy to rip out of, however it was my first experience in cuffs, and I melted instantly. The restraint kept me focused on the session and led to a multiple orgasm night. He even decided to jokingly call me his little Pringles can, once I popped I just couldn't stop. But now we know how I reacted, we may invest in something a little more sturdy, or learn some rope cuff knots! I keep bringing up I want to try ones I see online, and Sir says we must wait till we go to see a teacher and learn ourselves.

How was your first experience with restraints? With wearing them (submissives) and putting them on your submissive (dominants) (switches feel free to answer either or both!). Also, what else could we possibly do while restrained? One of these days, sir will bring out the candle!

We have a very interesting candle, the wax when melted becomes lotion, so no needing to scrape it off at the end, just rub it in for silky smooth skin. It is from something called Creative Energy, we got the scent french fig and amber. I know one of the whole points of wax play is the was drippings staying around and taking them off but like, I am excited to try! It will definitely been another blog post for sure when Sir decides it is time to play with it. Personally, I was the weird kid that would always dip her fingertips in the pool of wax and just cover her fingers and watch it harden and then just peel it off. I loved it! maybe I am just a weirdo like that. 

Anyways, I am completely off topic, and I have no clue how to end this now. I am usually a rambling mess, ya'll will realize this soon enough.  Um uh, when in doubt just say "Yes Sir".

Yes Sir.

Have a great night lovelies!

Hello lovelies,

Today, I want to ramble on about communication, something that if you have been in the BDSM/ D/s world for awhile, this has been a topic you know by heart. If you are new to the world though, this is something that has been probably overlooked for you. 

For me, I grew up very religious. When I would try to communicate anything, my feelings were shot down, told not real, and overall not necessary. As long as I was a good Christian girl, nothing was supposed to be bad for me, right? That was the mentality. When I would cry, I was told to stop the waterworks. No one would take the time to figure out what was wrong with me. Fast forward to college where I met a guy that met the check list for my, but more for my mom's, standards. We were warned that marriages of our Christian faith only 28% get divorced, however, if you were a relationship from our particular college, you only had about a 50% chance of staying together. We were convinced that we would not split. We were "forever". It started with not listening to requests for aid in simple chores, or talking about what our goals were for short and long term. Four years later we realized our communication was never there, and we never were fully committed. Lying was daily for him. "No I haven't been talking to another girl." "No, I only love you." Then I found him stumbling home at 2 am with lipstick on the collar. We both came to the conclusion that we were drinking buddies that fucked every once in awhile. Another issue was that both of us had a very submissive mentality which drove me insane. The divorce was silent and quick, however I was never really allowed to talk about it with my family, or I felt like I could not discuss it because I did not know how to portray my feelings properly. When even the word would come up, I had old friends pull their children away like I was some kind of demon/leper. How horrible is that? I may had been around people who supposedly loved me, but I felt more alone than ever. 

Now, this is where Marcellus, my Dominant, comes in. We discussed in detail how I felt in regards to the divorce, faith, friends, and family. We had a long distant relationship at first so communication was all we had. So finally being able to speak with someone on how I felt in regards to something, it was a whole new world. Do not get me wrong, this wasn't an overnight fix. There were still plenty of days and nights where we were fighting because I could not put my thoughts into words. Shit, we still have days like that, but it is getting easier. The point I am trying to make is, there is a definite ease when you can just speak your mind, and have a proper discussion with the peace of mind that I won't be judged, and have my thoughts respected.

I will also get called out for my shit as well. When I am just having a tantrum because I didn't get enough attention that day, or I am having a hormonal PMS. I am still a female with all those stupid hormones raging through my body. I still have jealous days, that I try and suppress because let's face it. Sir will have to be present around other females, and I trust him never to cheat. He also tells me whenever a girl flirts with him too. Most days it is hilarious. When I'm PMSing I want to stab a bitch. Usually, my reaction makes Sir smile and happy he has someone love him so much. However, if I am PMSing my reactions go overboard and this is when Sir check me and let me know I am overreacting and need to stop. There are days where I will tease the shit out of him during gaming just to a rise out of him, so he will play with me instead. 😉 Like I said, I am still new to this D/s world. So we are still learning about how I am supposed to keep my emotions in check to make it easier for Sir to go about his day.   

So I will pose another question for anyone who is reading this, and if you have made it this far, BRAVO! I just told Sir "holy shit how am I still typing?" and he just responded, "well you did say it was a rant." ANYWAYS the Question: What are some keys to communication with your Dom or sub? Is there any rule in your dynamic that says the submissive is supposed to limit their emotions expressed to make life easier on the Dominant? If so, submissives, HOW DO YOU DO IT? cause this is the hardest one for me.

Until next time, stay safe and have fun lovelies!

Vale

For many people, this is the beginning of their BDSM adventure, for others this can be a hard limit. When we began, I believed this would be a hard limit because of my past. Enter in now the generic father issues with spanking and hitting blah blah blah. Having these issues is painful, don't get me wrong. I still cannot handle people yelling. What I have found it to be more than anything else is annoying. I want to enjoy life without having triggers. My Sir and I discussed this at length, and we decided to try, and respect the safeword.

We got soft spanking out of the way and I enjoyed it greatly! He accidentally hit in the wrong area a little harder and sent me triggered into a curled up mess. So we sat and discussed it more. Waited a couple of days, and tried again. Quickly he learned where to avoid the spanks, and how long he can go with hard spanks before it would trigger. Today, I can proudly say that we have made it to leaving marks and almost bruises as a reward as well as a punishment. I am not wanting him to stop, been looking eagerly to bring tools into this play time. I don't know how, but he completely has helped me overcome a trigger that has been around for over 25 years. 1 down, countless to go, but I finally have something to give me hope. I look over at my Sir and it sends me shivering into presenting just imagining him spanking me in a couple minutes to find out whether he approves or not of my post. 

So, now i want to ask a question to whoever is reading this, where should we go from here? What toys would you recommend, and where to get them? We are also looking into getting into bondage! We have bed cuffs and such but we are looking into the intricate life of ropes. Where would you recommend starting? 

For those wondering, I may not be posting everyday because I know I will get burned out, but I will post when I feel the urge to write. 

Have a great kinky day lovelies, and when in doubt, say "yes, Sir".

Hello there, 

I guess this is my first post. A little about me I guess. I am a ginger, and a gamer that met my Sir through a FPS called Destiny 2. We started our relationship pretty vanilla and yet, we were always a little kinky through our online talking.

It took about a year, and about 5,000 miles for us to finally live together when we found out, vanilla wasn't us. He then brought up the topic, maybe we are more D/s dynamic relationship. This scared me. Growing up in a very conservative religious lifestyle made this concept terrifying. There was a little hesitation, but we realized that we were already on the path to this. Once I realized this was what I wanted in the first place, I have been researching everyday since and completely have fallen in love with the lifestyle and dynamic. There is still somethings that I cannot agree with, like polyamory and knife play, however there are alot of things I am super excited to try! So this Blog will be about our adventures and hopefully learning more about ourselves while hoping there are some crazy stupid hilarious mishaps to make this a worthwhile read. 

2020 is going to be starting with a bang. Let's see how it goes!

Vale.