I am currently ( like right this second ) having an anxiety attack , why do I tell you ? It isn't for sympathy or pity but simply because I feel this is a turning point in my mental health . I got told recently my anxiety is linked to severe trauma and stress , and that I had been living in survival mode for so long it made my body forget what "normal" is . Having been controlled and manipulated for so long I have come to find comfort in chaos . It usually starts with chest pain , then a headache , then the hyperventilating begins , and then the crying ......... I am a mess
It's been a couple months since I wrote the above and I have been doing fairly well . I was prescribed a new medication for anxiety and it seems to be helping , I feel some what normal and only sometimes need my rescue medication. I wrote it during an extremely stressful time in my life . I can actually see my desperation in those words and the fact that it has sat in my drafts for months because I was afraid to post it for fear of being judged .
So I am being honest with others but most of all I am going to be honest with myself , I am not okay sometimes and that's perfectly okay .
Thank you , for reading this if you got this far
Signed
A mentally ill submissive/switch