Musings

Probably opening a can of worms here and kinda playing the devil's advocate, but hey, why not.
After reading several ads and profiles, something caught my eye. In many a profile/ad, the writer (I speak of females here as that is all I have read) claims to be either 'sub' or 'slave' or both. They then go on to say such things as, 'don't like ball gags', 'not into handcuffs', and the like. When declaring yourself a sub or slave, do you not relinquish your right to decide what you 'like' or 'don't like' or are 'into'? I full understand such things as blood, scat, bodily fluids and the like. These are, by common acceptance, beyond the 'norm'. And I understand that there should be a dialogue between master/sub. But is someone declaring themselves as a 'sub' or slave' permitted to qualify that statement? Are these things not for the master to determine?
Ok, I can feel the rising ripple starting already, soon morphing into a tsunami. Hey, it's just a stray thought and a question people.

SuperEight(sub female) - What a sub/slave prefers and what they are willing to do for their Dom/Master are, in my opinion, completely separate entities. For instance, I HATE nipple clamps, cant stand the things. However, if my Dom tells me to put them on, I put them on. He's aware of my distaste for them and usually only pulls them out when I'm being sassy/defiant, which is something we've previously agreed upon. Being a sub/slave doesnt suddenly make all your opinions go away, but these should all be taken under consideration during the negotiation phase of D/s dynamic

3 years ago

assilabdsm(dom male) - Well said.

3 years ago

Pumpkin29(sub female){MrWhite} - 😅
Being someone's sub doesn't automatically turn off the switch for things you simply don't enjoy.
Maybe they're just stating their preferences in in hope of finding a good match. A person who does not enjoy pizza may prefer not to tie themselves to someone that demands they eat it for every meal.

3 years ago

assilabdsm(dom male) - Again, well said.

3 years ago

Orgazmo(dom male){serenity m} - The sub/slave's limits must always be respected. Also, play must stop when the safeword is used.
If the sub/slave has a fantasy about having an activity forced on her against her will that is something that needs to be thoroughly discussed before play.

Communication. Communication. Communication.

Working out the details isn't always sexy but it's part of the communication that make BDSM possible in an SSC (Safe Sane & Consensual) way.

Just because you have a slave or sub doesn't mean you can do whatever whenever without prior communication and establishing expectations.

Sometimes whatever whenever is part of a D/s or M/s relationship but that needs to be established and communicated by both parties.

O

3 years ago

assilabdsm(dom male) - This answer separated the Masters from the wanna bed.

3 years ago

Abyssful(sub female) - I think where the misunderstanding is the thinking that all control is handed over completely. This isn't true in most cases. Total power exchange (TPE) is rather rare.
A sub or slave may set boundaries, limits, these are negotiated and agreed upon in the building of the dynamic.

3 years ago

No Body(dom male) - You must remember it is the sub who says yes when offered a collar. It is also the sub who holds the right to hand it back when she is not happy. The Dom must take her needs and limits more than his. Limits will be pushed but not run over.

3 years ago

assilabdsm(dom male) - All great responces. I read a psychologist paper one time which addressed a seldom spoke of or realized facet of the m/s relationship. She said that in the Dynamics of a true m/s relationship of give and take, the master eventually becomes the sub, desirous of and dependent upon the gifts of the other.
Think about it.

3 years ago

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assilabdsm​(dom male)

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assilabdsm(dom male)