On reflection, I am totally done with my local kinky group

4 years ago. February 23, 2020 at 8:17 AM

At the last play party, full nudity and unprotected sex allowed, they announced a vanilla person as one of the leaders.

Announced - there was no voting in this group. Self appointed leaders.

Vanilla leader

Vanilla at a play party

- - - What could go wrong with having a vanilla leader walking around a dungeon?

One of the fundamentals of a dungeon is the "Vegas" rule - what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

This rule is naturally enforced by a balance of power.

Any one member reporting on the actions of another member could:

destroy their reputation among their friends, causing loss of friends
destroy their reputation at work, causing loss of job and potential loss of house, cars, and fiancial ruin
trigger criminal prosecution, leading to fines and jail time

The balance of power prevents this because any other member could report the one who reported the first one causing the same sort of damage

A vanilla leader, has nothing to balance their power, they can blackmail their way into tyranical control of everyone in the group.

- - -

I am done with my local kinky group

I am a relative outsider, having attended two official events, and KNOW of the four leaders I have met, at least two leaders have harvested fresh newbies as submissive sexual play partners in the last 6 months. One of those leaders was promoted to a leader after disrespecting negotiated pickup play boundaries with me and reportedly with others. Now another leader has been selected from the vanilla world.

I can overlook them having different (much lower) safety standards for play equipment than my personal standards. I can only strive to be risk aware and inform those who ask of my personal risk assessments.

I cannot overlook promoting people into positions of authority when they are the type of unsafe players that are ideally suspended from a group.

I cannot overlook promoting people into positions of authority when they are in the class of people (vanilla) not even allowed to know where the play parties are held.

- - -

This saddens me not to have access to a group of kinksters.

I expect this to be my final post about the local group.

Returning soon to my regularly scheduled dreams and inspirations

Bunnie - How very disappointing that must be for you :(

4 years ago

Bunnie - I hope you might find another group in the future :)

Give you Some Rope(dom male){not lookin} - Thanks Bunnie. I am really OK with this.
I was on the fence. Now I've decided.

I have many remote friends i met through fet... they satisfy most of my social needs.

I plan to relocate this year to someplace where the climate fits my hawaiian shirt, preferably someplace with an ocean nearby. So there was going to be a fresh start anyway.

I have a rope buddy locally who is a jewel of great price. I will miss her when I move.

For in person learning, there are groups 50 and 80miles away that I am following. I saw dozens of demos done by nationally recognized presenters in Boston a decade ago.

TakenLower - I think you’ve made the best decision but I’m sorry that it had to be made.

HGB(sub female){Scottish M} - Well that sucks and not in the good way. I drive 40 to 60 miles for my local community. Sounds like far but I drive for a living so it's nothing to me. Good luck on relocating.

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Give you Some Rope​(dom male){not lookin}

Dreams and Inspirations

On reflection, I am totally done with my local kinky group

Give you Some Rope(dom male){not lookin}