Why do love hurt so much? That's because we are vulnerable in love. We cannot fall in love if we are not vulnerable.
I believe BDSM hurt at least as much as love if not more. The reason is because I believe we are more vulnerable in a D/s relationship. We share more and share more deeply.
This is why we feel so much more in a D/s relationship. That's why we feel so connected in a D/s relationship. The joys are way much more.
Of course, with there is such a high up, there is a lower low. When negative emotions such as jealousy pops up, it can be devastating. It blinds and it destroys.
As a dominant, one ought to be in control yet it is very hard when strong negative emotions such as jealousy comes up. Believe it or not, your submissive especially a submissive with little tendency will vibe with you. That creates a lot of unknown for your submissive even though you might try to withdraw to handle your emotions.
What did I learn from my mistake yesterday?
I believe if I were to not name and express my emotions, walk away from the conversation with a reasonable reason then do some exercise, it will be handled better. The reason is because when one is feeling jealousy and anger, adrenaline will be released. This will make one focus on the threat. I lost my cool to analyze things holistically. Exercise helps utilize the adrenaline so that my usual cool calm mind will be back. Comically, when I was back to my calm self, I realized that my jealously was baseless. I apologized to her and discussed what we both went through. It had more negative impact on her than I imagined. There were some impressions that were made which I walked her though my though my thought process at that time. I'm very lucky that we are still talking now. That's why I'm writing this to reflect. I want to be a better dominant that is able to bring stability and the feeling of safety for my submissive.
If you have any insights or suggestions, please do share. I'd like to learn from your experience. Thank you for reading.
