I had to make some changes in my life. It wasn't easy - was not something I came to easy but changes that I had to do. I was starting to back slide into a situation where I was giving up my boundaries in order to please another person. I could not go back into that situation. It was taking a toll on me and my mental health. I also had other persons in my life that were trying to break past boundaries that I had set up without caring about those boundaries - guess what... they got booted out of my life too. I do not need those people in my life.
The biggest issue is that the person I gave up, the biggest of all, was that he was the dominant person in my life. The weekly meeting that we would scene and fuck and he held my submissive side together. That hurts... it hurts not having that anymore. It hurts hard because it's gone and I do not have anything in my life to replace that with.
Where does that leave me? I do people in my life but now I surround myself with those that care about me and respect me and my boundaries. I make a plan for myself that is healthy and gives me peace. I communicate with those that care about my well-being knowing that they have my best interests in mind. So for now, I smile, pretend everything is okay and continue on...
