Online now
Online now

My Musings

These are my thoughts and opinions. Be respectful and I will respect you in return.
5 years ago. September 25, 2019 at 6:11 PM

About three months after the secret relationship started I kept getting sick. Nauseated and I couldn't eat. The sickness wouldn't go away and I told my Mom I needed to see a doctor because I was so unwell. When I explained to her she asked me when my last period was. I felt the blood drain from my face and I knew, and she knew by how I looked. I was pregnant.

Mom started screaming for my Dad who was getting ready for work. "Your baby is pregnant!" The words that came out of her mouth after that were vile and had me running for my room. My Dad, stepped out of the bedroom, a dark look on his face and yelled "stop".

I was crying hysterically and saying sorry, that I didn't know. I said it had only happened once.

Even though my parents were alcoholics they were hard core Catholics.

Dad questioned me. Who was he, when did it happen, does he know. I just sat there shaking. I didn't know what to do and I was so scared. So I told them everything.

They left for work and I was told to stay home. I cried all day. Curled up on my bed and wondered what was going to happen to me, and to the man who I believed I loved.

At 4 p.m. as usual, he showed up to do the chores. My Dad right behind him. Before I could get out the door my Dad had him pinned up against his pickup. Both were yelling and I ran to grab my Dad before he hit him. My Dad was a couple inches taller and outweighed him by about 50 lbs.

Dad stepped away, started pacing. The father of my child looked at me with a surprised look and asked me what was going on. My Dad told him, "you got her pregnant". Like me earlier, the blood drained from his face. He said, "how can that be we only had sex once and she was a virgin". My Dad would have killed him at that moment if I didn't stand in the way.

Dad ordered him to get in the house and to go wait in the kitchen. I stood there watching him walk to the house. Dad turned to me and said, "he will marry you or he will go to jail!"

Not long after we sat at the table with my soon to be husband, my Mom walked in. Furious and ready to attack anyone. My Dad took her into the other room and had explained to her what was going to happen.

I looked at this man and he had fear in his eyes. "How can this be! We only did it once. Or have you been with someone else?" I started crying and said, "Of course not, you're the only one."

My parents came back into the kitchen and told him, "this is what's going to happen. We are calling the JP tonight and if he can do it tomorrow the two of you are getting married or you are going to jail for rape."

He put his head in his hands and just sat there. "Can't we do something about it? I can take her to the city and find someone to get rid of it."

My Dad started walking toward him and he stood up saying, "ok, ok, I'll marry her".

Two days later we were married. I was looking at the paper work after and I was shocked. I knew he was older, I thought maybe 25 years old. I started feeling dizzy, and my Dad must have noticed. He came and grabbed me. "What's wrong?" I said, "he's 30 years old!" And he would be turning 31 in a few weeks. At 16 I thought 30 was old, but it was done, no going back.

He seemed to have accepted the marriage. We stayed with my parents for a few weeks and then moved to the city. I was happy. I had what I fantasized about. A man who I thought loved me, a baby on the way, and a home of my own.

He was happy, or so I thought. He came home after work, I took care of all his needs. The sex was amazing. I felt I was doing everything right and possible to make him happy.

He came home very late one evening. Smelling like alcohol and staggering. He became very rough, grabbing me and saying I ruined his life. Then started kissing me hard and too rough. He pulled my dress over my head. Told me to take my underwear off.

I was big, almost a month from delivering our child. I had put on quite a bit of weight. So I was self conscious about my body. But I obeyed. I stood there with my head down, naked and crying.

He knelt in front of me and started kissing my belly. Rubbing my body and started touching my tits and pussy. He had scared me earlier and I tried moving away from him. He jumped up and grabbed me by my shoulders and said, "you're my wife, I'll fuck you if I want to."

Pushed me into the bedroom, stood me by the bed and told me to bend over. I obeyed. He kept playing with my pussy and because I had always enjoyed his touch before he assumed it would be the same this time too, but it wasn't. He spit on his cock and entered me. I never thought of it as rape because he was my husband but years later, telling my Domina, she said I was raped.

The next morning I woke, sore, sick, feeling scared, and very emotional. He was passed out on the couch. He had continued drinking after he raped me. I tried to be as quiet as possible. Started his breakfast and the smell must have woke him.

I was standing at the sink running water to wash dishes. He came up behind me and I could feel that he was hard. He wanted to fuck me again. I told him I was sore from last night. He stepped away from me and he grabbed my arm and spun me around. Slapped me across the face, if he didn't grab me I would have fell on the floor. He said, "you'll never say no to me."

As he turned and walked away he said, "I'm going back to bed." No one had ever hit me before and I was stunned. My cheek burned and fear hit me. I must have sat at the table for an hour. I began to wonder if this was normal for married people to fight like this. My parents fought a lot when my Mom started drinking and I seen my Dad slap her around when they drank. Seen the bruises they would leave on each other. Then the next day they would act like nothing happened.

He never touched me in any way until after our baby was born. I went into labour in the middle of the night. He was out drinking with friends and I had to call my sister to give me a ride to the hospital.

I woke to him sitting holding the baby. My heart melted and my love for him seemed to grow. Our parents showed up and everyone was so happy. I thought my life was complete.

Our lives went back to normal. I was the housewife and mother that I thought I dreamed of being. I worshipped him and our baby. My home was always perfect, food always ready for him. Gave him pleasure any time he wanted. But he always seemed a little distracted.

A week after our child turned 1 he had been out drinking. Came home with his friends and they were drinking, so I sat in the bedroom with the baby. He came in and started getting mad because I wouldn't sit with them. He slapped me so hard I saw stars, I fell and must have screamed because the baby started crying and one of his friends came running in. My husband laughed and said, "she fell."

I tried to go on like nothing happened but I was always afraid. It kept happening but not very often so I would think that he wouldn't do it again, I was wrong. A slap, a push, verbal abuse. I became very unhappy.

Our child was almost 3 by this time. We left my husband at home to go visit my parents for the weekend, or it was supposed to be for the weekend. Our child got sick so I decided to go home.

We were home for about an hour when my husband walked in with a woman following behind him. He stopped short and the woman walked into him and put her arms around him. He pushed her away and told her to go home. I knew. He was going to fuck her in our bed.

I was angry, he was drunk, we argued, yelled, he swung and punched me. I tried to defend myself but he was too strong. He hit me over and over again. I seen stars then everything went black. I woke later that night in the hospital. Panicking and asking where my child was. I didn't know how badly he had beaten me until I tried to get out of bed to get answers about my child.

As they were giving me a sedative they told me that my sister had my child and that my parents were in the waiting room. The nurse said she would go get them. I pulled open the tray with the mirror in it and was shocked at how black and blue, and swollen my face was. I had 2 broken ribs and a concussion. I had never seen my Dad cry before. He walked in and said he should never have made me marry him, he held me close for the first time in many years and ask me to forgive him. According to the doctor my husband nearly killed me.

Our neighbour had heard my screams and my child crying so they called the police and my sister, who they knew. If it hadn't been for them, and the police showing up when they did, I don't know what would have happened because they found my husband sitting on the couch with an unloaded hunting rifle, but shells sitting on the coffee table.

Four days later we went to my house, my sister and her husband were there packing my things and loading a truck. They were moving me to another city where he wouldn't find me. He had shown up at the hospital after they released him from jail, and told me, in front of a nurse, that if I left him he would find me and kill me. If he couldn't have me no one else would. The nurse told my parents what he said.

We were staying with an Aunt of mine 400 miles away from where I lived with my husband. My sisters and parents called me daily. My husband begged my parents to see us. The police charge my husband with assault causing bodily harm. A police officer subpoenaed me but I was informed that if I didn't show up they would wave the charges that would be laid against me for not showing (I didn't show up). He went to jail on a summary offense. He was sentenced to 18 months but did only 9 because of good behaviour.

I was at my Aunts for about a month and I started school to complete my grade 12. I met an old friend of my family at the college and she told me about programs that would help me get into my own place. I told her everything. She helped me through it all, moved me into an apartment.

This friend would visit me almost daily. She was my support. We got very close. I found myself becoming attracted to her. She was a very sexy woman. Curvy in all the right places. Beautiful and so kind. One day she was complaining about a sore neck so I began massaging her. She let me for a moment then grabbed my hands and pulled me so my chest was against her back. Pulled me around her onto her lap and kissed me. We kissed for awhile and my child woke from a nap.

The next day she came over and said that her daughter would take my child to the park and then babysit at her place for the day so that we could go to a movie and have some free time.

I packed a bag for my child and sent them on their way. I closed the door after waving to my child, leaned against it and asked, "we aren't going to the movie are we?"

She leaned her body into me and kissed me so sensually that it weakened my knees. I wanted her. More than I ever wanted my husband. I unbuttoned her shirt, she had on a red bra with the clasp in the front...she released the clasp and her beautiful tits took my breath away.

She removed her pants and had matching panties on. She said, "let's go to your bedroom."

She let me kiss her and suck on her nipples...she took my hand and put it on her crotch. I could feel the heat and wetness through the material of her panty.

I started undressing but she stopped me, "I want to do it." She undressed me slow, touched me after each piece was removed. I stood in front of her in my underwear and she sighed, "you're so sexy!" Then removed her panty and my underwear. I'd never seen a shaved pussy before. All I wanted to do was touch her but she wouldn't allow me, just yet.

Pulled me to the bed and I laid down, she kissed me, sucked and nibbled on my nipples and I could feel the wetness of my pussy drip between my cheeks. Then her hand finally moved to touch my pussy. Her fingers slid in so easy, her palm against my clit and she rubbed and finger fucked me slowly. Then her mouth found my swollen clit. I came quickly. She laid beside me and asked if I'd ever been with a woman before. I told her no.

She laid on her back and said, "you may touch me now." I touched and sucked on her nipples, kissed her neck and mouth. I moved my hand to her bare pussy and rubbed gently...then I moved between her legs to use my mouth on her. She said, "put your fingers inside me." I shoved one as I licked and sucked her clit. "Put 3 in", she said. I obeyed. "Fuck me faster...faster baby, suck harder." Then she said, "I'm going to cum." I felt her muscles grip my fingers and pulse. She bucked up against my mouth, holding my head so my mouth was hard against her clit. Her whole body jerked, she groaned and squirmed. Then went limp. I was so amazed at how I was able to please her.

I didn't know just how much she was going to change my life. We dated, slept at each others homes for about 4 months. It was my 19th birthday and we were having supper at her place. She told me that she loved me and wanted me as her own. She asked me to move in. And I did.

This is how I ended up with my Domina, who I didn't know was Dominant at the time or what poly and BDSM were for that matter. I found out by accident and I knew it was the only life I wanted to live. Thirteen wonderful years under her care until she decided it was time I was owned by a man. She said she had to move in with her daughter to help with the kids but that wasn't why. She had medical issues and didn't want me burdened with the stress and pain it would have caused.

 


You must be registered and signed in to comment


Register Sign in