It’s one thing to understand your triggers, the tight chest, the rush of heat, that sudden urge to withdraw or explode, but another thing entirely to regulate once you’re there.
Let’s talk about the real part: what you can do in the moment, and what you can build over time.
1. First, slow it all down.
When you’re triggered, your body is running the show. Your nervous system is screaming that you’re not safe, even if the present moment is.
So before trying to “fix” anything, pause.
Breathe in through your nose. Exhale slowly through your mouth.
Feel your feet on the ground, your hands against something solid. Remind your body: I’m here. I’m safe.
2. Name what’s happening, not why.
You don’t need to dig into the “why” right away. Just notice: I feel angry. I feel small. I feel like running away.
Naming feelings is like flipping on a light switch in a dark room. It doesn’t make the mess disappear, but at least now you can see it.
3. Give your body what it needs.
Regulation isn’t just emotional; it’s physical. Movement helps discharge the adrenaline.
Stretch. Step outside. Shake your hands out. Drink some water.
If you need to cry, cry. If you need quiet, take it.
It’s about returning your body to safety so your mind can follow.
4. Practice co-regulation.
Sometimes you can’t calm yourself down alone, and that’s okay.
Call someone who feels safe. Let them just be with you.
You don’t need to explain or justify, just connect. Safety is contagious.
5. Revisit the trigger later with compassion.
Once you’ve regulated, circle back. Ask gently:
What was I really reacting to?
What did that part of me need in that moment?
This is where growth happens, when you can look at the pattern without judgment and give yourself what you didn’t get before.
6. Build your regulation toolbox.
Not every strategy works every time. Keep a few go-tos ready:
Box breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4)
Writing or voice notes
Weighted blanket
Soft music or grounding scents
Short affirmations like, “I’m allowed to take up space,” or “This feeling will pass.”
Over time, these practices teach your nervous system that it doesn’t have to live in survival mode.
7. Healing is regulation in slow motion.
The more you practice, the easier it becomes to spot your edges before you fall over them. Regulation isn’t about never getting triggered again, it’s about shortening the distance between chaos and calm.
Every time you pause instead of react, that’s healing.
Every time you show yourself compassion instead of shame, that’s healing.
Every time you choose to breathe through a wave instead of drown in it, that’s healing.
Trauma taught your body that the world wasn’t safe. Regulation teaches it that maybe, slowly, gently, it can be again.
It’s not linear. You’ll still have moments where you spiral or shut down, but you’ll also have more moments where you recover faster, stay present longer, and trust yourself a little more.
And that’s what healing really is: not the absence of pain, but the presence of safety within it.
A Final Thought
If you read yesterday’s post, this is the next step. Understanding your triggers is awareness, but regulation is the action that transforms it. It’s how you start to rewire your body’s relationship with safety. Every small practice counts, every pause is progress, and every moment of self-kindness is a step closer to peace.