This is the prequel to Part of Me vs the Bush of Death"
I apologize in advance for the long post but I wanted to write 😂
Background history.
I have never ever been into gardening. Every living plant life I have ever been given a chance to nurture and grow has died. The one time I thought I was doing so well it turned out the plant was fake. 🤦♀️
Well now I am somewhat older and I've decided I want a lilac bush in front of my house. In order for this to happen, I need to remove "The Bush of Death.
This is a huge, horrible, prickly bush the previous owners planted located right out my front window and right beside my front porch/door. This bush is almost the same height I am and maybe 3 to 4 feet wide. However that is not the reason I hate this thing. I hate it because every year between end of Spring to end of Fall it is home to huge, creepy, product of my nightmares, spiders.
Ive spent years battling my arachnophobia. I can now remove small ones from my house all on my own (unless I can't reach them in which I scream for help). This bush has the usual hosts of black and brown spiders, little ones, clear ones, daddy long legs, nests, jumping spiders etc...all of which I could handle if not for these helldemons.
They pop up out of no where and in less than a day have created a web almost the size of my large front window. From the eavestrough to my mailbox. That's right. My mailbox. Which is about 5 inches away from my front door. Every year without fail they appear. Hanging out in front of my window...peering into my world, trying to find a way in. Building homes all over my porch and they even have the audacity to build one IN my mailbox.
I loathe these creatures and from where they come. Last year I decided I had enough so I destroyed the massive web and used longgggg pieces of wood to kill this Spider. I was so proud of myself. Wake up the next morning to find the web has been rebuilt, I destroy it again and again kill another one.
Next morning I awaken to find the web has been rebuilt again and to double the size and now I have not one but TWO OF THESE MUTHAFREAKIN GIANTASS SPIDERS HANGING OUT IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE. I swear if they could speak they would be yelling at me like Girlll you gon kilt my cousin. We watching you 👀.
Needless to say I didnt touch the mailbox or bird feeder (located beside said death of death) the rest of the year.
So this year I decided I am done.
THE PLANT MUST BE DESTROYED.
