DISCLAIMER: If you have ever been abused or severely traumatized by some you trust, this post may not be for you, or maybe it is for you even more. I have no way of knowing as I can not claim any major abuse or trauma by a trusted person in my life. Just know that my intention is never to cause pain or trigger negative memories.
Welcome to Knotti’s house of pain... Muhahaha (evil laugh, lmao)
Trust, big topic on the blogs and always will be; as it is an essential part of the bdsm lifestyle. However I wanted to put my own spin on it... always trying to stay in the positive!
To trust or not to trust? Is that really the question? No!!!!!! It isn’t....
What are you gaining by keeping your walls up and not letting people in? Nothing. The only thing your doing is making sure you don’t get hurt. That’s what you think at least. In reality all you’re doing is ensuring that no one else hurts you. By choosing into the walls, and anti-trust, you are hurting yourself. What I like to call a “red vote” for your life.
Yes, keeping the walls up and trust to yourself, ensures no one can betray you or abuse your trust. However it also keeps the people that would bring healing and love into your life away as well.
The question is, would you rather be alone with your defenses or would you rather deal with a little pain in order to be rewarded in the end?
My answer: Bring on the pain!!!!
Life is pain, one way or another. There isn’t any avoiding it, all you will do in trying, is hurt yourself more or keep yourself limited to what you know. No Bueno...
Everyone is afraid of the unknown, but why? All the unknown holds is everything we don’t have or haven’t experienced.
Most people are of the mindset that trust needs to be earned and it does... to a point. There comes a time where you just need to take a leap of faith. What’s the worse that could happen if your smart about it?
You trust someone - they break it, what’s that say about you? Nothing, it’s all about them. Why would someone abusing your gift of trust reflect on you? Because you “chose the wrong person”? Nonsense... how would you know they were “wrong“ until they showed you? You wouldn’t.
The more open I am and the faster I let someone in, the quicker I see if they can “cut it” or not.
My life is full of wonderful, genuine, compassionate people, but I never would have the opportunity to know that in its truth, if I kept everyone at arms length with “walls”.
If someone hurts you, that is a reflection on them, never you. Don’t let the few duds in the world keep you from finding the many sincere.
At the end of the day if you have stepped into honesty, vulnerability, and trust. You have done all you can do and will be at peace, no matter the actions of others.
I am not saying stepping into trust is easy, but most things worth it, aren’t.
Chin up ladies and gents. Much love.
-Knotti
