Hey oh!!!
Good morning technically. At least for me. I wanted to share a little bit of my evening with you from yesterday. There is no real reason for this post, except that I noticed something. It seems that people are typically unhappy. At least during this time. But let me begin at the end of my work day.
So I had just finished working my 12 hour shift, and I knew I had 600 things to accomplish before going to bed that night. I finished work at 6:30 pm, but before I could go home I had to stop at a friends house and run and get some groceries. I also have 5 animals that needed feeding and to be let outside, so I knew I couldn't waste a lot of time. I had already been gone for an ample amount of time.
Anyways, a coworker had made the comment earlier in the day when we were chatting about how terrible it was to drive a long way to get home. It takes me just under an hour to drive home if there is absolutely no traffic and I speed just a couple kilometers over the posted speed limit. The thing is I hit the highway and that's my driveway. So when I hopped in my car after I got changed out of my work attire, just slightly after 6:30 I decided that I was going to change how I viewed my drive home. I didn't want to be grumpy, or bothered by the long drive. How do you enjoy something you don't like to do? How do you change the "terribleness" of a task? I decided for me that the time inside my vehicle I would turn off all my music, and the only noise I would create myself. So I began to hit my bass notes and work on a few different sounds, all the while making my way towards my friends house.
When I made it to my friends property I was greeted with his dog George. Best damn puppy ever, super happy and always wanting cuddles and love. So I stepped through the open door and was greeted by his excitement. It put a smile on my face, and I met with my friend and got to work. I was picking up some nemotodes and neim oil for my plant in order to defend against pests. I'm almost ready to flower, so I have to take my measures now to prevent or else I run the risk of ruining my end product. Anyways, I am always impressed by my friends grow operation. It's a thing of beauty. Like freaking amazing. Anyways, I had a moment standing in his computer room listening to music while admiring the dedication he has put into his plants. We had just finished smoking and I was in my head. I was eyeing his setup, how he had everything hanging and I thought about my own desires. I want to become a rigger. So I thought about how I might begin to implement a riggers system inside my grow tent so that everything is neatly organized. Right now it's a complete mess and I need to work on creating support for all my cords and parts and pieces. I have a long journey to reach understanding, but I'm excited about the potential for what I can create both in my personal life and for myself in bdsm. It's about choosing a path, and following through.
I had the "weird" thought about life. In life each moment or task is an opportunity. There is a recipe for that moment. Take mowing the lawn. In my instance I need to rake my yard and clean up the dog poop and excess grass lying around before I can attempt to mow. Then checking that my mower has fuel, and is properly maintained so I can operate as necessary. Then the task of physically using the mower to cut the grass. You can break down anything into the tiny ingredients that make up that task, and focusing on each small part you can work towards completing a more difficult and challenging task. I'm working on implementing this type of thinking into my daily life to help improve my procrastination.
After I had been gifted the necessary pieces I needed for my pest control, I had to drive to Costco to get groceries. (I freaking adore Costco, greatest store ever invented) I am sure you realize this and I will give you all a minute to gasp and point..... Yes I made the choice to drive while under the influence of cannabis. First allow me to explain something. I will not drink and drive. I have in the past it's stupid and I will not repeat that decision in my life. I'm certain I may be getting some sideways glances at this moment, and so be it. The reason I say this is that for my job, I am required to drive constantly. I respond from the deepest corners north in my city to the farthest reaches south. I drive constantly in a truck that's 12 tonnes. It's big, and clunky and hard to maneuver. I also smoke cannabis frequently, and I understand exactly how it effects me. I know when I've had too much, and last evening I decided to take the calculated risk to drive impaired. Part of it is the confidence I have in my ability to drive, and the other side is knowing when I'm "too fucked up". When I drink I reach that point easily and I make foolish decisions, but cannabis puts me in my head and can make me more attentive on the road. Not saying it makes me better, and it is also dependant on the strain but I know and trust in myself to operate a vehicle safely. Even if mildly messed up on recreational drugs.
While I was driving I continued to practice my beatboxing and if everytime I am inside my vehicle and turn off the music so I can practice one day I might actually become half decent. I even began to sing a silly song about how I needed to learn to appreciate my long as drive home. Making all sorts of silly comments and funny noises. I'm working on trying to learn a new skill in beatboxing, it's known as vocal scratching. Trying to imitate a turntable. I have brief moments of success with it, but it's not consistent as of yet. To be honest all of the different noises I can make are not well defined just yet, and I do not have full confidence in myself to pull any noise at will. I'm working towards it though.
When I arrived at Costco I noticed something. Everyone seems downtrodden. I'm sure there is probably ample amount of stress in everyones life right now, but it was weird walking into the store and seeing so many masks on. I also challenged myself a little bit, I tasked myself with only carrying everything I was going to get that day in my arms. Screw the cart, I can definitely carry everything. Except I brought in my empty water bottle to "fill" it up. Turns out it just took up space in my hands and by the time I was going able to even fill it with water my hands were full with my groceries and I wouldn't have been able to support the extra weight.
Anyways, I was determined to not use a cart and to enjoy my time in Costco. I was smiling, and just people watching as I made my way over and through the aisles. Switching this way and that when I forgot something, almost jumping and dancing at moments just enjoying moving as I chose to. I also tried beatboxing in the store which I probably wouldn't have done usually, although I stopped when I realized people may not be interested in having my spittle tossed around everywhere while I was walking. But I had a fun time, I was just enjoying myself. I wound up grabbing a small Cesar salad dressing box so I could stuff all my groceries and manage to carry everything. It's a great thing they only had the 5 lb bags of onions or else I never would have managed. It was pretty comical too as I was trying the find the coconut oil, I wound up missing it by a few steps. I went down the aisle and all over trying to find it, and when I got back to where I deviated from my original path it turned out if I had taken just two more steps I would have seen it on the end units at the aisle just in front of me where I decided to go hunting for the coconut oil. Silly me. Missed it by that much... The best part, I was about to pick up the coconut oil when I realized I had forgotten the butter!!!! So now I knew where the oil was I had to backtrack and hold off grabbing it because it would be too much weight to continuously carry. So I backtracked and located my butter, and grabbed everything and finally made my way to the check out lines. By the time I made it to my car my shoulders and arms were burning from the prolonged time I was carrying my food items. While I was walking around though, goofy smile on my face I wanted to try and bring a little cheer to those around me. Especially those working, so I began to offer cheerful words of encouragement, wishing good days and best of lucks to those employees I passed. I think we have had enough misery and so much negativity this entire year, so now that things are slightly improving and more businesses are opening up and as life returns to normal I wanted to share some joy with those people trying their best to endure it all. I even used my empty water bottle as a drum and was making all sorts of beats and sounds. I really enjoy music and am learning to appreciate it on a completely different level.
Anyways, I finished loading up my car and hurried home to go feed my animals and let everyone use the washroom. Even when I made it home I managed to be slightly productive with what I wanted to accomplish, but I missed a few things. Including mowing my lawn and showering. My problem was I sat down just after 10 pm when I had finished my dinner and I wanted to rest. Turns out I was exhausted because I woke up at midnight and realized how many things I still would need to make up for in the morning.
That was mostly my night, filled with a few funny moments and some poor decisions based on your perspective. But it was also a day where I acted with my own interest and just enjoyed my existence. I had fun, like I haven't had in a while. It was just a great night and I'm really excited to get home and finish some of those jobs still waiting for me.
Anywho, to those that bothered to listen to me ramble have a wonderful day! Try to smile, and enjoy the mundane. I hope today you find growth and improvement in yourself.
So I realize this is also now the afternoon, and I started writing this over 2 hours ago... So happy afternoon everyone!
