Well hello again friends,
I need to make a disclaimer that cannabis is being consumed while writing this blog.
Now today has been a tremendous day for a lot of good reasons. I'm going to share a part of my day, and thought process and I hope that you can begin to understand.
So I just had the thought mere minutes ago that I am at a point where I am really happy where I'm at. I feel less new, and I'm beginning to grasp my sense and style to BDSM.
I just had an experience with a friend. It was monumental because I realized a critical part of who I am.
I have a sub little side.
I will explain in a moment, but let's leave that right there for now.
Part of all of this, is that I'm realizing I've done work. I've busted my ass, and as such I have managed to improve my relationship with my ex. I have seen improvements everywhere in my life, all at my own hand. My motivation and my effort.
Which could not have been achieved either of I did not have the support of another friend.
I have been blessed with two phenomenal people who have helped me grow in tremendous ways. They will be lifelong friends and I only hope to grow my friendship with each of these people. I need to acknowledge the support I have had because I have never gotten anywhere on my own. I've always had some help whether that was my family, my wife(now ex), or my friends.
Through all of this I had the realization tonight that I have reached a level where I'm satisfied with my basic understanding of the game of BDSM. I have achieved a class upgrade.
See I figured that I had reached in some ways the end. It felt like things were clicking and they are because I allow them to. The thing is it was the end of training. The rookie class. The beginner mode. The hey let's get introduced to this insane new idea that literally has changed your whole life, in so many positive ways.
So now that I understand the basics, I get to do the fun part. I get to explore my desire. I get to understand what and who makes me.
I have had quite a lot of outstanding interactions with females today. And all in the absolute most positive ways.
*All names have been changed to protect identities, I do not have consent to share their names*
So today I had to go see my chiropractor. I am now almost finished my treatment (although I have not been extremely consistent with my exercises, but I do include them in my workouts from time to time) which would help me get through my last few treatments, but the thing about the chiropractor is the receptionist. She is attractive, and we have had plenty of enjoyable conversations about all sorts of things. The last visit I had been there it was extremely chaotic and Karen had a lot to handle. She had 2 calls coming in, a person in front of her and the Dr, was asking her a question from down the hall. So after I had paid I said a quick "Goodbye" slipped out of the door and hoped it would be less busy next time.
Next time:
Which happened to be today. There was no one in the room. It was just us, so I got a chance to ask her about her trip to Fernie in British Columbia, the province to the west. She showed me some photos of the lakes, mountain, waterfalls and all sorts of photos. We had a really outstanding conversation that was just positive. Plus I got to ask about her birthday which happened to coincide for her trip. She even reminded me what day it was. I had already paid for my appointment, so there was no point technically for me to stick around well except that I was in the middle my work day. Luckily we only had filler work to do, so I wasn't neglecting my job technically. Anyways, after the conversation when I stepped outside to melt for us it was 35 C. We don't usually get much past 30 C so this is murder for me, and I don't generally handle heat super well. While I was outside the thought passed through my head "I want to leave her my number, and if she decides to call or text me it's her choice" So when I am finished with all of my treatments I am going to ask her if she would like my number. Then she can decide if she would want to get in touch with me. Honestly I think you're an idiot if you ask a girl for her number. You never know if she could give you a fake number. I mean unless you enjoy the element of surprised when you find out she is a Chinese food buffet place. See the thing is I know my phone number. I know I probably won't get it wrong unless I'm crazy nervous, so at least the information is correct. Unless she has her number blocked as soon as she decides to text or call you, you have her number.
Anyways, I think I'm on the right track and that's all that fucking matters.
I also encountered one of the leaders that works on the same floor that the general trouble office is. I had a great conversation with her about a part of the situation that I have experienced over the last few months. I didn't bring up anything actually relating to BDSM, but I just talked about the fact that I was able to play with my dogs outside in my backyard because I managed to clean up all of the dog poop and mowed the yard. I turned it from a jungle into usable space. Which I used. And took advantage of. I plan to try and continue that behavior, and develop how I interact with my dogs because I can be a very poor owner. It's an area that needs significant improvement. Which will become a focus now that I have a space to work with them. So long as I continue to keep my yard in usable shape.
I also found out that Samantha had kids, and is most likely married. The thing is I haven't asked any of the women I've interacted with what their relationship status is.
So I have no idea, but I will say Samantha had a number of rings on her fingers which included something on the ring finger. While Karen did not. I'm not reading into anything but I'm guessing Samantha is married while Karen might be available.
But I'm no Sherlock Holmes.
The thing is it didn't stop there, I got picked up by my ex after work because she needed to borrow the car.
We had some errands to run, and stopped by Costco for some items and fuel. Lowe's for some paint and brushes.
In Costco, (I freaking love Costco) the mask hander outers and door guard were both women, and it was nice to be very friendly. Saying hello and wishing them a good day.
Even the lady who helped me in the checkout lane, she scanned my two boxes of kitty litter so I didn't have to lift them up. I was very gracious.
Even in Lowe's with the person who helped ring us through the self check out isle, which is funny. We went there not to have to interact with people and did anyways. Well I think it was more so self checkouts tend to go quicker.
There were just an abundant amount of positive interactions.
Which leads us up to the moment we've had to wait for. Tension has built and now we can finally get the sweet release we NEED.
My friend who is outstanding, have begun to make arrangements in meeting. Part of planning is setting a realistic time which could be October. If everything works out. But questions need to be answered before decisions can be made. So we have to wait, but while we were discussing part of the itinerary it was brought up that since it was October we could do one of the scary haunted houses they do. So yeah, I'm not huge into scary. I would let my ex watch pretty much 1 scary movie a year with me. Maybe 2 if she got really lucky. But horror hasn't ever really been my genre.
During our conversation it was brought up that the actors in the haunted houses are not allowed to touch you, and if they do you are entitled to touch them back. In a forceful manner. It was interesting because when she acknowledged herself as "Mommy will come protect you" it set off something inside of me.
That part of me that just wanted to be protected, loved and looked after. To be seen and cared for with a mother's love.
I even mentioned how when I found out how much of a badass my Mommy was, that I was going to cause all sorts of mayhem and make her beat up everyone. In which she replied with "In which case, I would have to take you home and punish you for the rest of the night." She said it in a playful manner, but there was sinister intention behind those words.
I told her "It would be well earned, I would need to be punished for acting out".
That's pretty much as far as we got when she had to go do work things and I was in the process of setting up my vape. But I thought on these things and realized if I didn't write about it immediately I would lose the courage to write it at all.
I have seen a part of me that I now understand. Well that I am going to begin to understand. It's all a journey.
It's just that this is the time to explore, and learn. I just have new areas that I will be growing in. Each one will complete another part of what I enjoy and who I am. I'm really excited because now the fun begins.
I hope you all have a wonderful evening, there is so much that you can do. You just have to be open to the idea. It's whatever your mind can create and fathom that you want to see realized. So long as it's done in a SSC way.
