Hello Cage friends,
How are you today?? Well I am doing freaking grade A fantastic.
So prepare yourselves, for I am about to throw some information at you that you may not appreciate or agree with. It doesn't matter though, you are entitled to your opinion and regardless of what you have to say I will say "Thank you for your honesty".
Now, let's begin.
So today (I am currently sitting at my office just beginning my first night shift of 4) and do you want to know what happened when I first came into this space?
My coworker walked in sat down and IMMEDIATELY said "Dude, you stink. That is unfair to me to have to sit and endure this".
Okay, so let me say this. Those that have spent anytime reading my blogs will know I have taken a leave of absence from showering every so often. Not that I don't want to, or don't like to, it's just somedays I get lazy. Some days I don't want to. Some days I think about it and then sit on my ass until the late evening when I am too tired and just crawl into bed.
Now. Just because I happen to be a gross human being that reeks sometimes does not mean that's my intention. I do not want to harm your sensitive nose with my BO. Honestly it was probably more my clothes than me (I had showered before heading out to the mountain yesterday, but I still wore the same clothes. Funny how you can sweat into something and have that absolutely remain embedded into the fibres)
Anyways, when my coworker pointed out the obvious odour he was encountering I turned around and walked out the door. Walked across to my locker room, got undressed had a super quick shower and threw on my work clothes. I did all I could to try and improve my smell as I really wasnt trying to bother him. But he made mention that it was an issue and I was able to take decisive action to fix the issue as best I could within the scope and access to tools that I had. Luckily we have a shower in the locker room that I was able to use, although I had no towel and did not bring any of my supplies for properly showering. But the fact that I even got a shower in today (because I had more important things to do today and wound up running some errands I wasn't expecting to have to run which left me with no time to shower) regardless of how fast it was still counts!!!
The whole point of all of this though, I acknowledge that many women find it extremely off putting when you don't shower. Having a nice smelling man all groomed and who takes care of himself is a huge factor in determining whether this is the man for you. Here's the thing though. I am gross. I can have an abundance of smells that come from my body. Yes I am working at taking care of my hygiene more consistently, but I want someone who can sit and enjoy the particular aroma that can waft off of me. I want someone who can embrace that I don't always smell of roses, someone who can sit with me and embrace me for the gross person I can be. Because I'm not ideal. I have my flaws. And my smells.
So after I had my shower, changed my clothes when I went back up to the office one of the first things I asked my coworker, "Hopefully this is better because I can't do much more than this, but thank you for your honesty".
Actually I would recommend that you try this. The next time you have a hard conversation with someone and they give you some information that you don't necessarily agree with, tell them "Thank you for your honesty" and leave it at that. I find it makes them feel heard even if you can't necessarily change anything about the immediate situation.
Honestly I love the way I smell, even when it's the gross BO that makes others green.... I just hope that I can find someone who appreciates me for the rank, smelly man I can be. Because that is apart of who I am. It is me. I'm always willing to take a shower though, especially if I have a lovely assistant willing to help get me clean.
We are all looking for that one that completes us, or perhaps those few that satisfy us. We want to feel complete, accepted and loved regardless of our flaws. We want to be seen at our worst and loved the hardest for it. Because we are all imperfect.
Anyways just some experiences from my day, my thoughts on the matter and perhaps some advice that might help you the next time you have a hard conversation.
Be well, and have a great night. For all those that take the time to read this thank you for putting up with the smell from this blog