Good morning Cage friends,
When I arrived home after travelling nearly all day from my trip I noticed something about the space. It was completely empty, and the extensive loneliness and lack of presence of my slave felt huge in the echoes of the rooms. I have worked at cleaning up my home and it has been cleaned, organized and radically improved now that there aren't any animals destroying the property. It stays just as I left it. But as it has been cleaned and organized there is more of an echo in the space. The sound bounces back at you. Just a little bit.
It seemed as I walked through the door to my home that the sound that reverberated in that space was being amplified as if to say "You don't have your slave beside you anymore. You are alone now." The silence and quiet seemed to loom and grow. The sounds seemed to continue that feeling of emptiness.
Yet as I began to unpack my carryon and personal item from the plane, as I removed the items that my slave had given to me I felt and experienced her presence. She was and still is beside me. She exists in the ornament I selected. She is wrapping herself around me and keeping me warm as I wear the fleece jacket she gave me. All the items and things that hold her energy, her presence, her love for me could be felt and would fill the space.
My home is empty and still full.
Thats the beauty of D/s. There is such a connection unlike any other relationship. It can be felt across the world, and as I know O/our dynamic better. As I know how W/we fit together. As I know the ways W/we match. It all comes together and gives me support and care and hope. W/we have a bright future together. I know this. I saw her at her best and parts of her worst. I saw how she manages life, money, people, fear, worry, terror, joy, laughter, time. I saw her in such a complete way and I knew that she holds immense value in my life and will serve me well.
I was in a long distance relationship back when I was just beginning university. My girlfriend at the time had been accepted to go to the only school in Canada that had the program she wanted for her dream career. We began dating at the end of high school and attempted to continue a long distance relationship into university. It was challenging, it was full of difficulty and hardship. It was not an easy thing. I must admit I was a radically different person then. I didn't have much self confidence. I was stuck in a mindset of "I'm boring. I don't do anything. Ive never been anywhere. I havent travelled. I haven't experienced anything exciting." The funny thing is there was no reason to lack confidence in myself and while now I have a much healthier relationship I still struggle feeling confident. I still get terribly nervous. I still struggle with doubts and concerns. I still get way into my head regarding certain topics. But back then it was much much worse. That mentality created the downfall of that relationship. Not feeling confident. Not being confident. It created many issues and cracks in the relationship which eventually brought it to ruin.
Now, having D/s as a framework there is no doubt. There is no fear. There is no lack of confidence. Except when I am trying something completely new. When I doubt my capability to successfully manage *task*. Utilizing D/s to create a healthy long distance relationship that is based upon mutual respect, admiration, joy, increased value from both sides, with two individually healthy people who are better together and add to each other.
This dynamic was built properly. This relationship was put together piece by piece slowly. There were many things W/we didnt do this trip. But even those things help breed excitement for the future. For what is to come. Because now W/we know each other. W/we know how naturally W/we exist together.
As much as I have known Mikayla, as much as W/we have spent nearly everyday talking for almost 2 years I still hadnt learnt her. I hadnt known her. I knew, but didnt comprehend. Now, I do comprehend. Now I am certain about the calibre of her character, her integrity. I saw it with my own eyes just as I have seen it everyday through a computer screen. She is the same. Well she is radically different because of my influence, but she is consistent. She is authentic and exactly who she is every day.
I am blessed and grateful to have found someone who marches beside me so in sync. Now, as I sit at work and think about my home and the space that is mine (for now >> future blog coming about this change in my life) I am reminded with little trophies from our trip how W/we are connected. The distance between U/us is irrelevant. Because I exist within her. She exists within me. W/we carry each other into every space W/we walk. Separately and together.
Now, O/our trip had some hiccups and bumps. W/we had some wrong turns, some extra detours. W/we will be sharing more about O/our trip in the days to come including highlights, mishaps, adventures and misadventures. But it was beautiful. It truly was a perfect trip and I don't regret the things W/we did or didnt do. W/we have a long future ahead of U/us. W/we have time to grow with each other and try different and new things together. Now W/we get to begin planning O/our next meeting when she comes to my space. When she finds her way truly home to my world.
I am excited. I am grateful for the memories and all the reminders I have. I am grateful that I am a different man. I deeply appreciate the silence inside my home, and how my Mikayla presides within the objects that were gifted to me. Filling my space with her voice, her touch, her essence and her energy. The silence is deafening.
Mstr J
