Good morning Cage friends,
My favourite thing about my slave is that she constantly helps me to shift my perspective when I am struggling. One of my absolute favourite ways she has impacted my life is my view of tools and items specifically inside the kitchen and how she has helped me to perceive things in a different manner.
I used to look at pots and pans with scratches, left over burns from sauces and bubbles from boiling with disgust. I would be so frustrated and annoyed that they existed. She pointed out to me that a well used (and cared for) tool will have marks and usage from years of work. It is proof of its effective and usefulness inside the kitchen serving its purpose. I loved this expression and it helped change my perception and appreciation for all the different ways I would make use of my tools inside the kitchen.
Now, I would like to share my own perception about life, the universe and D/s dynamics. To begin I am going to share a story that just happened to me days ago that made for an interesting weekend experience.
I was working alongside my father and as we were outside chatting with a neighbour I began to feel overheated, nauseous and lightheaded. I wound up having a syncope which is usually a low blood pressure which results in unconsciousness. The biggest issue was that I was standing on my driveway at the time and when I went unconscious I proceeded to fall and hit the back of my head on the concrete. When I woke up, my father and next door neighbours knelt over me trying to get me to breathe and wake up. The rest of that day was spent waiting. Waiting for Fire, EMS, transport to a "nearby" hospital, waiting for a bed in trauma and waiting to be checked over by a doctor. Needless to say it was not the day I (or my father) was expecting.
First let me say I am well enough. No damage was done to my spine and when I woke I was coherent, capable of remembering information, where I was, what day etc. Yes my neck is sore, I do get small headaches at moments, and while things are not 100 percent it could have been much worse.
My point in sharing this is that people are not perfect. I am reasonably healthy and I had no way of stopping what happened. I didnt realize what was going on and didn't react in time. I could have minimized some of the damage if I had laid down and put my feet up but I didn't realize that impending unconsciousness was knocking at my door. In fact that may have prevented me from even going unconscious as the blood would have had an easier time getting to my brain without fighting gravity. But sometimes we just aren't capable of reacting appropriately in time.
Time, use, "old" age, experience, history, trauma will shape and leave their scars on each individual. No one is perfect. No one can be perfect because we are human. By definition we are imperfect creatures.
Part of the search for s types as a Dominant leaves us with a bit of a conundrum. Who would be the right person to fit the dynamic we crave? I believe there is some form of ideal that each Dominant searches for. Dominants focus on appearance, character, spirit, emotional maturity or whatever characteristic that holds the most value in their search. To each Dominant that value will be seen in different ways, with different weight put into the areas most important to their values and following their Will. It will compose a few areas, revolving around the most important aspects deemed by that Dominant.
For my dynamic the most imperative characteristic is that W/we hold similar mindsets. The approach to thought, to understanding, communication, that W/we look at a situation and react in similar ways. That W/we act with integrity, honour and respect for O/ourselves and for those W/we interact with. Now there are many different factors that impact my choice in slave, one important factor for me is to see the value brought into my life by their existence. How she changes my self perception, how she changes and fosters growth and gives me the chance to lead and in doing so I have to push myself ahead of her. I cant lead from behind, although I guess you could say that in some instances I do lead from behind....
When I found my slave and was just beginning to interact the thing that floored me the most was the fact that she held a conversation well, and no matter what topic I brought up she could educate me and help me walk forward by sharing new information and bringing ideas in new ways I had never considered before. She expanded my thought process. She helped me see myself.
Now, she is my toy. She has her marks and scratches on the surface, and some parts of her that are broken. They were all impacted by history, past trauma, and previous choices made with the information she had on hand. The thing is I have been spending the past 2+ years fine tuning my toy. I have been identifying those broken pieces and laying tape, buffing out the scratches, gluing parts back together. Some fixes and healing is superficial and still hasn't reached the depths I desire because the underlying problems still exist. But the process of created my ideal is not something to be rushed through. I intend to heal her, mind, heart, body and spirit. I intend to make my own marks, to add my own scratches to my toy but each one will be forging my ideal girl. Each one will be with purpose, to overwrite an old scar. It is not about removing all the wounds. Its not about creating a perfect human but a perfect for me human. There will always be marks that remain upon the surface and deep within, but its changing the nature of those marks from negative to positive ones.
The best part about D/s is that it is a lifelong process, one that both parties desire. Its about finding a person who will change and allow to give all of herself over to my creation. We both desire a TPE 24/7 M/s dynamic and W/we are putting each piece together bit by bit. I am excited for the creation and grand fine tuning of my property. W/we have laid the groundwork and now are taking the necessary slow steps of building and repairing my property in ways that are valuable and important to U/us.
Healing does not happen in a day. When you are fixing damage that has taken hold of for years if you attempt to rush the process it will only damage things further. When a Dominant seeks to find their ideal partner I would recommend that you consider all the aspects of who that person is, and ask yourself how much work am I willing to commit to this person? Do I see the potential or is it worth it? Will the end result be worth the effort to get there? How far am I willing to improve to help her (or him) reach the potential I see for them? Life will always be hard. With an obstacle of not enough time. Too far away. Damaged limbs. This, that or whatever that seems to be a wall too high to grapple. But the question becomes will you set your resolve and determination to overcome those obstacles? In my opinion, if she is worth it you will find a way to move through and with diligence manifest healing in profound and miraculous ways.
You can forge your ideal girl, you can fine tune her to become your ideal. But its not without immense effort and constant attention and devotion.
I hope A/all that take time to read these words find peace and perhaps some strength to move through the difficult challenges they face in their life. I wish Y/you all success in finding Y/your ideal partner.
Mstr J
