Good day Cage friends,
Today I bring a piece of myself and part of my mentality within the D/s lifestyle.
As humans we comprehend and understand on different levels. Some things are innate and simply apart of who we are. I feel though as an individual guiding a dynamic that it is important to understand how it is that your partner learns and grows.
For myself I am a kinesthetic learner primarily and so feeling, getting hands on experience is very valuable to me. But I believe that complete learning is achieved through many mediums and part of the process is to identify which processes are most effective in conjunction together. Part of the process that I implemented with my slave when she came to visit me was a "sit and watch" mentality. I wanted her to observe me "in my natural habitat" to begin to understand what I do, how I act, my mannerisms and the way I like to do things.
It was an active demonstration of the way I handle life and it gave her insight into the way I preferred to have dishes done, how laundry should and would be done, how to care for my property and a basic overview of how I manage my home and how I expect her to manage those aspects of life on my behalf.
I feel that giving a showcase of how I operate gives her a great starting point to begin her tasks from while having the knowledge of how I work inside my home and for my home. Then during those moments as she began to take responsibility for those tasks I get to then take on the role of observing in turn, pushing her when she needs a correction, or redirection of how to finish a task.
I find giving a demonstration by giving her time to observe enriches her learning and gives her the right tools to start in the correct place and then make tiny little adjustments as W/we develop into more complicated day to day affairs. By giving her space to watch and listen she gains knowledge and then giving her the space to try her hand and gain the experience herself really bolsters and cements the learning into her brain, heart, body and soul.
Everyone has their way of instructing, teaching and guiding their submissive but I find this to be an effective method for myself and my girl. I strongly believe that a period of observation from both sides of the slash can produce extremely beneficial results during training.
Now I wish to speak to a different aspect of dynamics, specifically long distance based dynamics.
The moment that you have to leave "home". When Mikayla was scheduled to return back to her space it was a complete loss on many levels because she was leaving home. There wasn't anything positive about the idea and it was a deep internal struggle to be okay "with leaving home." Not only was she leaving home but she was hit with drop that has been impacting her for weeks since her return. Many different levels were impacting her well being emotionally and mentally.
Part of guiding my slave is creating mental concepts that she can lean on for structure and to give her strength and support especially during difficult times. So while speaking with my parents about her departure I had a "eureka" moment. It was a classification and understanding of space and property that would allow me to explain to vanilla individuals a part of O/our dynamic and use key words that speak deeply to both of U/us but without raising suspicion and to give her the support she needed to return to her space.
It is the concept of "The Satellite Campus".
Getting to use the dialogue "It is space owned by the University but exists *points* over there." When communicating with vanilla folks kind of gives me a small thrill since I get to use the word "own" in regards to my property and yet they dont necessarily catch the significance of what that means to U/us. The importance of this concept though really is for the benefit of my slave.
It gives her the task and responsibility of caring and becoming the caretaker for what is mine, gives her purpose and direction and allows her to accept the idea of "returning to the satellite campus". Instead of leaving home she gets to return to being my servant, my emissary responsible for managing my property and to gain experience practicing her skills of managing my satellite campus with the same level of care and energy she would devote to home.
I believe in connecting concepts in tangible ways that grows the connection between U/us and gives a chance to deepen trust, communication and the bond W/we share. This idea helps give her strength to return to a semblance of normalcy and give her the courage and support she requires to make the transition back into her space. Part of caring for her is doing all that I am capable of to improve and promote healing in her life.
I'm proud of some of the ways I have done that for her. I am very grateful that I have found ways to impact significant change inside of her life and how I have helped her blossom for me. Piece by piece things are falling into place, with the hopes that soon the future will be here. For now I just focus my intent towards February when she will next visit me in O/our home again.
To those that take the time to read my words today I thank you, I pray that you may find some useful insight for your own journey.
Mstr J
