Good morning Cage friends,
It has been a bit of a minute.
I haven't written anything in a long time as I have been working hard to obtain certain goals that hold meaning to me. But much has changed in the last few weeks. Time has slipped by and as I walk forward I realize that I am in a season of prosperity.
But while the Season of the Crow is still ongoing there may be more yet to discuss as time moves. Because life changes every minute. Things can improve just as quickly as they fall apart. There is an ebb and flow to life. We enter many different seasons.
For myself I have been attempting to learn some lessons and grow. It was interesting to realize a situation at work the other day. Now to put this all into perspective there needs to be some background about the situation.
I was attending my family's Thanksgiving weekend last Sunday and during the time shared there my father spoke to me about anger and wrath. He told me "be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to wrath." So of course in any fashion where a lesson is being taught there was a different experience where I walked straight into my own anger.
I had been working a long day after the holiday. Typically when there is a day of rest many people think we close our operation at work but we work non-stop. There is no day that we close our doors and we work 365 days a year. I mean I do have a rotation that I work alongside of different individuals but I'm part of a team that each of us operate on the given day. It is just decided who gets to lead. So how jobs get handled is at their discretion and the other guy gets us there safely.
Each has their own role and responsibility. So this day after a holiday when some people think we close for the celebration it ends up they call the next day which happens to get inundated with work. As I had the lead for how jobs got handled I gave my best customer service I could. I tried to be helpful and get through everything that was on the list for the day. I wanted to try and leave an easier shift for the night crew coming in after me.
The thing was I did a really decent job. There was only 1 job that I didn't do a satisfactory job on at the very end of the day but part of being on a team is realizing I make decisions but I still need to reach a consensus when it comes to personal time. My work partner did not want to work late and chose to get through the least significant of the last jobs that would be on the way back to the office so we didn't cut into what he had planned for the evening.
As a result this one job was dealt with, but not in the manner I'd hoped. It still was resolved to a degree but it didn't have as much as I could have done to properly finish that job. There were still some actions left for me to accomplish there that may have helped with the next steps.
But after this long day I was on my way home and while I was stopping to get some food and some groceries I had a moment. I was trying to turn left and for whatever reason in the near black middle of the night I could not make this left hand turn because of traffic. There was a gas station that people were frantic to fuel their vehicles and there were many people who were just trying to get home after filling their tanks.
At one point in the lineup of vehicles someone turned into the space I needed to go, and the one very last vehicle left decided to slow down and stop. This person had to slow down because the person in front of him turned right. They decided to continue slowing to a stop to let me through because they must have felt bad, or felt compassion, or just wanted to do a nice thing.
The crazy part is that being given permission to turn left drove me up the wall insane with anger. I was so completely frustrated that they didnt just keep driving because the space behind their vehicle was quickly dwindling as more cars were turning out of the gas station. My window to get through the intersection was rapidly diminishing. Yet when this random stranger gave me exactly what I wanted I responded in outrage and anger.
I was so dumbfounded when I finally turned left. As soon as I made it into the parking lot I couldn't understand why it was that I couldn't just accept the compassion offered by this person. Whatever their reasons they stopped for me. Part of it may have been convenience since they were already slowing down, or maybe they really wanted to help make my day better. I have no idea. But I know I was confused by their actions, which led to disbelief and the fear of losing my opportunity. The one that I had worked to try and achieve on my own. But as it stood being given the chance to reach my goal immediately removed all the figuring I had to do. Sometimes the answer just falls in your lap. But I get to choose how I react to it.
Do I yell and get angry?
Or do I accept the offer with grace and gratitude?
In all moments I get to choose my actions. I get to decide the path forward but the question is what qualifies me to lead? While all Dominants consider themselves leaders, alphas, lone wolves, the question is what drives them? What speaks deeply to your soul and how do you wish to choose to live your life?
For myself I am led.
I follow my own internal understanding. I look at what I know. What I have been taught. I look at the way I view the world and I begin to operate based upon my thoughts and understandings. I ask for growth, clarity, understanding, Wisdom and so many different things. Each day is a little different because I change. Some days I'm much stronger in one area of my life.
Consider this.
Recently I have been improving in my golf game and as I develop and work I actually managed to break under 100. I shot a 99 at my home course and a 97 on a course that "I was gonna have revenge" (for a previous bad round of 122). Each day I go out and learn my golf game some days I have great shots with my driver, solid long irons and my short game is just atrocious. Other days I struggle to drive the ball but make up for it with solid short game that kind of helps improve my score. Or really bad days where all things are missing and I struggle non stop.
We are flawed as humans. We struggle and deal with defeat. We have to work at moving through difficult situations that hold and tether us down. The first thing that defeats us is the mind. It shackles our body more than any binding. Working to accept and move through, to evolve and find the next version of who you are meant to be.
For myself I am reaching new heights and achieving new areas of life. Tonight I have a friend over and actually had my roommate seemingly enjoying the company of the friend I brought. There was laughter and stories and photos and food. It was amazing to have different areas of my life come together and begin to really truly fit.
The thing is my friend and I are actually going to play two different courses tomorrow(which is later today since it happens to be after midnight). We have a tee time for a golf course just 40 or 45 minutes away, first thing in the morning and then on the way back home we will stop and see if the home course I enjoy (and play the most at) is busy or not. Depending how we feel we may immediately go home but the intention is to play 36 holes of golf.
There is lots to accomplish. Much to improve. Many opportunities right around the corner. I know my best moments are coming, I am working to improve all areas of my life and I will reach the goals I set.
To those that read my words today I thank you for your time, I hope something I have written will resonate and help you cross a tumultuous season you may be facing right now.
