smile..it's not all bad..is it?

He likes my brattiness
                    (I don't think I'm bratty)
He likes my intelligence
                    (there are far more intelligent people than me on this site)
He likes that we are honest and open
                   (me too)
He likes that we have a laugh and healthy respect for each other
                  (He's a nice man)
He likes that we have shared things for many months
                    (I tell him stuff I don't tell my best friend)

why has he friend zoned me?
                    (Screams!)

A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realised that toucan play a game.

My friend said I could never make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!!!

what's the hardest part when making skimmed milk? Throwing the cow across the lake

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office:         I will find you… You have my Word

My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments

I love the messages I get from some guys..they make me laugh

I like to laugh

Yesterday  a guy started with... ( no hello even )

Guy...What are you wearing?

me... .snorkel

Guy... and your underwear?

me....nanas knickers, she only wore them a week..they're a bit pissy but meh!

Guy.. Nice..what colour are they?

me...white but a bit yellow around the gusset

MUTE!

I like to mute too

I'm laughing as I type this but there is a serious side .

Some one recently in a blog was complaining about their cow orkers

I immediately picked up on a new word.
What's an orker?
What did they have to do with cows?

um
Ok  it should have been coworkers  or really co-workers..
Laughs I can be so daft at times.
Once a guy  was saying how beautiful his bridge was..How he was looking forward to going through life with this bridge by his side,

I like bridges and read on..
yup  he meant bride.  Thought he was mad for a while there..seems it was me 

Ah well  , just goes to show how we have to be careful when we type to others. One missed letter , an added one  or just not getting across what you mean to say can change everything

goes off to read proof this 

https://www.pocketmindfulness.com/understanding-monkey-mind-live-harmony-mental-companion/

gags the ape!

Accept that some days you are the pigeon, other days you are the statue

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. ​

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Hi hru.         asked a guy

I r ok tyvm   I replied

wot?            sayeth he

forget it       sayeth me

IKR

lol

sighs

A guy contacted me, nothing unusual there, he sent one word though..'waves'.

So I thought , treat people as they treat me ..I waved back.

His response?  to send 2 words...'waves again'

yep  you guessed it, I waved back..again

Now I am not impatient with people , his kink might be the sea, or curly hair or a hand movement gesture..But really?

HE contacted me..so I duly ( and patiently) wanted to see what he had to say.

He didn't get the irony or the humour of me asking if he was trying to start a tsunami.

Result?   blocked.

shrugs

sometimes it just has to be done

I like to think I have a ready wit and sharp response to those that have a go.

Here are some of my favs,some stolen..shrugs

Your face is fine but you'll have to put a bag over that personality

do you still love nature , despite what it did to you

somewhere out there there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology

I am no cactus expert but I recognise a prick when I see one

I would challenge you to a game of wits but I see you are unarmed

I would slap you but shit splatters

shock me say something intelligent

Your only chance of gettng laid is to crawl up a chickens arse and wait

I haz lots more   and have probably used every one

Feel free to use them

D x

Those that have taken the time and effort to peer into my scribblings ( hello and thankyou) might have noticed that I try to keep it light and humerous...ish. I endevour to be the same in chatroom, popping in , joining in occassionally  and hitting the room with the odd ( very odd) joke.

I LIKE to make people smile..I love that they might laugh, I try to avoid confrontation and make an effort to diffuse negative tensions. Even an eyeroll is a reaction. If you don't like my humour stay away..block me but don't be a hater. 

All of this clowning about does not in any way mean I don't take this lifestyle seriously...accusers you know who you are. This is my way of dealing with crowds..people ..Some of us  build walls  not to keep people out but to see who can scale them... please don't piss up against my wall.

D