Journey as a New Submissive

LuceeLu - As a newbie myself, I understand where you are right now. Learning and taking so much in, it can be overwhelming. As a sub whose body has much been neglected and unexplored, I also understand your cautious mindset.

I will offer this piece of advice:

Someday, you are going to hear a voice. A voice you will hear without hearing it. You’ll know the tone of the words spoken, like they were whispered in your ear. You will hear this voice in your head and feel it in your heart. It won’t matter it they’re a switch, or in a poly relationship. Follow your heart, fight for what you want.

Be open minded. Be cautious...absolutely. But be open because sometimes the most amazing things and people in life are what we don’t see coming.

sweater​(sub female) - Thank you for this, this isn’t a perspective that I thought about before and I’ll have to remind myself to stay the course of being opened minded it’s so easy to get stuck in box and miss out on experiences

SchrodingersDinosaur​(switch female) - Hi sweater, I can def weigh in on this one for you. Like pretty much everything in this Lifestyle, Switching is very individually dependent. You are correct in the basic definition, a Switch is a person that CAN BE Dominant or submissive, but there are many different ways to implement that.

Some Switches do exchange roles within one dynamic (does NOT work for me personally), some are poly and have multiple relationships either in a closed group (a classic example is the poly family, a Dominant with a partner who is submissive to them but at the same time Dominant to the other members of the family...think Mommy/ Daddy/ little(s)) or in completely separate relationship, and others it's a matter of where they are in their lives at the time. They may be continue to be Switch at heart but are only indulging one aspect at that point in time. (As I say I 'lean hard' Domme these days. I still have the capacity to kneel, but it's just not screaming to make itself heard right now.)

There is no need to be concerned that being with a Switch would automatically force you to have to assume a power exchange if that isn't something that appeals to you. Like everything else we do it's a negotiation, not wanting to Switch yourself does not mean you should keep all the Switches at arm's length, just find one that is happy maintaining a given role.

There is a benefit there too, btw. Having experienced the otherside Switches can often be excellent partners. There are awesome intuitive Dominants that have never knelt so it's not like I'm jumping on the 'you can't be a dominant unless you sub first' silliness, but don't dismiss a Switch for a partner because they can be as Dommly capable as you need. - Henna

sweater​(sub female) - Wow I didn’t know that, that’s why I post these because the feedback can be eye opening. I assumed a if a person identified as a switch then they would eventually want to be the submissive, also didn’t think about how a switch could understand a Perspective Of a submissive. Thank you

SoaringFree​(sub female) - SD makes great points! I completely identify as being a switch and thankfully I found a Dom who has managed to satisfy that part of my personality. Majority of our time I love kneeling before my Dom and feel warmth deep within myself from submitting to him. There are other times that my inner Domme need to be in control and releasing that part of myself is important. I have a few experiences being in the Domme role before my Sir and I connected. I personally have found being in a dominate role for an extended length of time is exhausting. It literally feels like energy is draining out all the time, but feeling the rush of dominance at the same time (not easy to explain). Because of that, I love that I have the perfect partner that will let both sides come out and play as need be. He values both sides of me and that's why it works for us. My experiences over the past few years has taught me that I don't fit in a particular box. I am a complex, unique individual that needed to find someone just as flexible to live in this crazy lifestyle.

My personal view is that you know if you are a switch. I don't feel that you can be dominant just because someone tells you to be. Same as a sub. These are things that you feel as part of your soul. Some say that you can't feel both, but those people only say that because they don't know what that feels like. I feel submissive and I feel dominate; strength in both.