There’s times I like listening to songs that sound silly like Baby Shark(yes I know, childish, but amusing) and PPAP. I sometimes start doing the dances too and laugh like a crazy hyena. Life is about finding fun in stupid and silly things and if you are brave enough, imitate them! Here’s PPAP. It’s so stupid I find it hilarious
I mentioned a few blogs ago I was obsessed with Who by Lauv FTW BTS. While listening to the song a new song sprang into my mind that in some areas goes along with this song and gives more depth to it. It’s very short compared to Amnesia but I feel it’s better. I feel it follows the emotions I’ve been recently feeling and I’m sure some of us here have felt.
Chasing dreams
I have been running around in circles I don’t know how long I can keep doing this for
I’m getting tired of chasing
And nothing comes out of this
Tell me babe when you will stop
I’m tired of chasing chasing after dreams
Why have you changed
You aren’t the same anymore
Maybe I’ll give up...
Why are you coming back again
Let me run from this sick game
So tired of hurting and loving
Loving someone who isn’t the same
But you have my hypnotized
And I can’t escape anymore
I remember our first meeting
Out in the pouring rain you first kissed me
Said you loved me and I believed
Now I chase you
Chasing after a love that doesn’t exist
Chasing after hopeless dreams
I’m tired of chasing chasing after dreams
Why have you changed
You aren’t the same anymore
Maybe I’ll give up...
Why are you coming back again
Let me run from this sick game
So tired of hurting and loving
Loving someone who isn’t the same
But you have my hypnotized
And I can’t escape anymore
Today I’ll run
Run far away from you
I won’t look back anymore
This is my goodbye
I’m escaping from you
My blog has been all about music since I love music. Music is the food for my soul but this past week music hasn’t been good for me. I’ve been down over personal stuff that while I’d love to share here I feel I shouldn’t even if the person I wanna talk about has blocked me. I feel like writing a song to releases the emotions but what’s the point? I’ll just bury the emotions back inside. Let them lie quietly in the deepest parts of my soul, slowly festering and shaping me slowly into someone new. Someone stronger and braver. Everything in life happens for a reason be it good or bad and I’m not letting this obstacle stop me. I’ll keep going and someday I might be able to find what that person offered. A dream. A beautiful dream. I’m probably rambling on and don’t make sense. I get lost in my thoughts, in my songs, in my poems, they just float ever so gently yet quite persistent. Maybe someday someone will understand my thoughts... if not, oh well, it wasn’t meant to be.
There’s days or maybe even weeks and months where I become simply obsessed with one song. I find myself listening to it on repeat and humming/singing it constantly. For the past week or so my obsession has been Who by Lauv ft BTS.
Sometimes I like to write songs. Sometimes they are idea or thoughts or directly influenced by something I’m listening to or something in my every day life. I like writing songs that tell a story but I’m sometimes known to write songs that are just random thoughts and emotions. Here’s a song I wrote a few years back. The idea behind it was a what if this ever happened to me?
AMNESIA
I wake up in a hospital room
A man is sitting next to me
He’s crying and begging
For me to wake up
But I don’t know him...
He turns to look at me
His eyes spark so bright
He calls a name
I’m guessing it’s mine
But I don’t know
Cuz of amnesia amnesia
I don’t know you
Cuz of amnesia amnesia
I have lost myself
Cuz of amnesia amnesia
I have lost my love and I don’t know if I’ll ever remember
The doctor comes
He asks how I am and what’s my name
But I don’t know anything
They realize I have forgotten
And the man cries again
He says he’s my husband and I his wife
He tells me my name and his
But I just don’t remember anything
Cuz of amnesia amnesia
I don’t know you
Cuz of amnesia amnesia
I have lost myself
Cuz of amnesia amnesia
I have lost my love and I don’t know if I’ll ever remember
He takes me home and shows me pictures
Of ourselves looking so in love
I want to remember but I can’t
I just feel my heart hurting
I don’t know what’s wrong i don’t know what’s right
I just want to remember my lover
Cuz of amnesia amnesia
I don’t know you
Cuz of amnesia amnesia
I have lost myself
Cuz of amnesia amnesia
I have lost my love and I don’t know if I’ll ever remember
The doctors say
My memory will come back someday
And I hope they are right
Because I want to remember him
I feel I do love him
But I just can’t be sure without memories
I hate how this feels
This cursed amnesia tearing us apart
Cuz of amnesia amnesia
I don’t know you
Cuz of amnesia amnesia
I have lost myself
Cuz of amnesia amnesia
I have lost my love and I don’t know if I’ll ever remember
Last night I had a dream
I saw him drop on his knees and ask me to be his wife
And I woke up with tears on my eyes
Slowly the memories are coming back
And I know... everything will be ok
Recently I’ve been listening to this song that in the chorus it says “I’d trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday” and it got me thinking. Would I do that? Yes I would. If I was given the option to live only one more day and that that day could be a day from the past or something that never truly happened I’d say yes in a heartbeat. I’d trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday. Now my question is, would you?
here’s the song ;)
Sounds are a type of music. The change in breathing my subs make when they are about to cum and when they beg me to let them cum is like music to my ears. I’ve found throughout the years women tend to like sounds a lot, the heavy breathing, the morning/horny voice. It can be a turn on. And I’m not different. I have a voice fetish. There’s just some voices that just do it for me. Sadly I’ve found that it’s regularly doms that have that type of voice I love, therefore, I befriend them. Because what else am I going to do but be their friend? I’m not a sub and have never had a desire to be one. I imagine in a way my love for voices can be quite vanilla. I hardly ever get my subs to gag themselves. I like them making sounds. I like to hear them beg. Anyways my favorite voice would have to be Peter Steele’s. His voice just rumbles. I would imagine an author would say his voice is like warm dark chocolate which is cheesy as hell. In some of his songs he kind of whispers and oh god that sounds heavenly. I could listen to him my whole life and never get tired...
Recently I’ve been obsessed with a specific singer. The music has a... shall we say a sensual feel to it?
Music means the world to me. Music is the food of my soul and some days it’s what keeps me sane. Music has helped me go through painful moments in life when I was lost and alone. As a teenager full of teenager angst and hormones rock and metal kept me from thinking too much and made me numb to the world. At times emo music kept me going. A voice to what I felt inside. I would sometimes sing out my emotions since music that was already made didn’t cover what I was feeling. At times I just listened to sad songs and cry about them since nothing feels better than crying when your emotions are out of control. As an adult music has become something to empower me and teach me about who I am as a person and what I love about myself. I don’t listen to the sad and angry music I listened to as a teenager as those emotions are long gone. I now listen to music I feel is empowering and causes positive emotions in me. I find myself for the past 2 years or so listening to kpop. One band in specific called BTS who is all about self love. I have to say it feels nice. I see so many people nowadays dealing with feelings of being useless or a waste and music like this telling you you should maybe love yourself is rather nice.