There's a little game I like to play with s-types. It's sort of like people watching, but it's more focused on recognizing dynamics in Vanilla couples. Identifying who is the more Dominant type, and who is the submissive one.
Dynamics are everywhere. Not even just relegated to romatic interactions. Dynamics can exist amongst friends, co-workers, and families. There are just natural born leaders or Alpha types that tend to step up and make decisions. There are also submissive beta types that naturally choose to fall into line and abide by those desicions. It's part of the chemistry that drives interpersonal relationships.
I posted a story last night about one of the more bizarre dynamics I had come across. I tried to keep my story more in the moment, and free from the trappings of the information I found out later. One of the things I learned from this experience though, and the reason I posted the story, is it taught me the way dynamics emotionally feed us. It's why a D-type feels a certain way when they stands before a kneeled sub. It's why a s-type feels a certain way when they successfully completes a given task. It's essentially what makes us do what we do. Kink and all.
I get asked how I commonly meet potentials. Very rarely do I meet someone through sites. Not that I'm opposed to it, it's just I've gotten pretty decent at sizing people up in real life. I need that kind of personal connection. A little over a year ago I met my previous sub, I was actually on a job, and she was a server. We bantered a bit, and I just knew. Later she asked how I knew, I couldn't quite put it into words. Sometimes, you just get a feel, you just know. Is it instinct? Perhaps.
I illustrated it by having her start to take account of the instances during her day that she spotted a dynamic at work. I had her write them down. Whether it was the older lady cutting her husbands meat, or the woman pawning diaper duty off onto her husband, and still to the the little girl who got to choose which colors she wanted first witout a word from the little boy next to her. She saw that dynamics are everywhere.
So, why write about it? Isn't this common knowledge? I suppose it is. I also know, that at times my view of the world differs. I see things from a logic drive mind. I know that these dynamics, if we pay attention can teach us a little about ourselves. It's like learning a new language, only instead of words, we are given nuanced reactions and obscure feelings. What we read in other's we can apply to our own lives and better understand our own dynamics both in the Kink world and Vanilla.
