I'm feeling the call to kink. I use to be a sub when I was a different person.
Since then I've been the aggressor to avoid anything to intense.
I'm really not like what I show on the surface except horny. Confident, cocky, powerful, extroverted ... hell extra. I'd rather read, cuddle, be rubbed/pet, play, wrestle, be touched to the point of sexual torture denying my release or gratification till you have been satisfied just so ... you know vanilla stuff. 'Insert sarcasm'
I've learned how to get women I didn't think I could. I can make them let me suck the soul from their pussy. I can do a lot I am capable
BUT and there is always a but ... they never want me.
I have always wanted to be wanted.
I give how I want to be wanted. Maybe I'm coming in to hot. Too sexual. Too Intense.
So I've settled for nothing to intense. The intensity inside me is self aware. Its given me time to heal and grow, but she never left. Now she's demanding more than every that I lay her before her mistress in supplication of her desires to satisfy mine.
I'm struggling and poorly at that. I want to trust, to bond, to let go. Please ... I don't beg.. but I would