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Fear

Hi there! ... I'm not sure if I will keep this thing up or regularly post, but I thought I'd share a few thoughts. Hopefully you enjoy it and thanks for reading (:

Just a heads up, I tend to write in a slightly horror / fear / suspense style, so if those things make you uncomfortable I want to warn you before you continue to read any of my posts.

I assure you though, for those who like reading and are in touch with human emotion and have the ability to think and see through the metaphors, every post I make here is directly relevant to BDSM and the lifestyle. Figuring oneself out, and learning things.
1 week ago. Jun 23, 2022, 8:37 AM

I've been here a long time. I've been in other places even longer, and I've been this way even longer. 

I've met some great people, and I've made some good friends on this site. 

I don't know what happened, or what invited all this, maybe its all these "empowerment" movements and the rise of praising bad actions, no matter how detrimental they may be.

But over the past year or more theres been a toxin spreading through these communities unchecked. Some complain, some contribute to the spread, some don't notice, and others run. 

This toxin has a name, "dishonesty". 

All parties, all orientations, genders, identities, races, ethnicities, EVERYONE is affected.

 

- The amount of "experienced" men just looking for a quick kinky bang...

- The amount of women selling things...

- The amount of people not being honest in one way or another 

I'm using my phone, and don't want to write out a massive list, but I'm sure you get the idea. 

If you're new and trying to figure things out, then SAY that, don't say you ARE into this and that. 

If you're not a Dom, and just want a quickie with someone who doesn't know any better, go somewhere else, or figure out a more honest approach.

If you're just in these communities to "find clients": its none of my business, you do what you want. But some are here to find something with actual substance. 

I cant stand all the dishonesty these days, its driving me crazy. I'm starting to think that the real side of all this has devolved into finding a quick bang.

Do people still talk? 

Do people care about the connection? 

Do people want anything other than an orgasm anymore? 

Even if you DO just want a quick no effort blam, theres no honesty about it anymore. 

For all you out there that are genuine in what you're wanting and searching for, don't lose that. 

Honesty is a badge not many have, keep it close. It makes you unique, and special. 

7 months ago. Nov 8, 2021, 6:08 AM

Hi everyone!

First I'd just like to apologize because I tend to be a very blunt and honest person. I don't sugar coat things very often. So if anything I say here offends anyone, that's not the point. It's just to help explain the "ghosting" issue from another perspective and possibly help some subs on here. 

I also just want to re-iterate that I understand that there are some terrible people out there, and will start things off very rude, or ask for inappropriate things right away. I'm not talking about those people here, what I'm about to say here only really applies to the decent humans out there who are genuinely trying to talk to people, and why even those people might "ghost" you. 

 

1: ONE WORD RESPONSES

There are many reasons a person might "ghost", but the first (and probably biggest reason) that this might happen when talking to a seemingly decent person, is one sided conversation. I assure you, that for every "ghoster" you've had, the person that ghosted you has had two incredibly boring conversations. One word responses, really short, or delayed responses etc...

I'd argue, that for males in places like this, short or days in between responses is WAY more rampant than ghosting. I know that for myself, I won't reply to one word messages. I know most guys won't either. If you want a good conversation, then take part in one (that applies to everyone cause I'm sure it happens to females as well). There's a huge difference between giving a speech, and having a conversation with someone. I really don't like giving speeches, so I won't reply to one word responses.

2: FORCED OR INCREDIBLY CLICHE CONVERSATION

This one I could be a LITTLE lenient on, as I know some people are incredibly shy, and as long as it's mentioned in their profile, or they let me know this is something I can deal with. I know a lot of people can genuinely struggle with conversation and that's totally fine. But having forced conversation for any other reason is a massive turnoff. It would seem a little obvious but it seems to go right over some peoples heads.

What I mean by forced conversation, is the "How's the weather" type conversations. Of course there's cliches that can't really be avoided when talking with someone new, but outside of names, locations, interests and other important information, just responding to someone for the sake of responding is almost as bad as one word messages.

  • "Hey how was your day?"
  • "Fine, yours?"
  • "It was ok. Kind of boring"
  • "Hope it get's better"
  • "Me to."

I completely made that up, but I bet you've had this exact conversation, or something incredibly similar and it's painful to go through. I personally wouldn't want to be a part of this, but would tough it out in case it got better, if something like that carried on for too long I would express my disinterest and move on.

3: HONESTY / OPENNESS

This one might vary depending on the nature of the conversation or relationship. This point might apply to some and not others, but either way it IS a reason that someone might ghost you.

This point covers a few different things but being honest about your intentions, current actions, and anything that might affect the person you're talking to is a huge game changer for some people. I'll give a personal example:

I met someone here not too long ago, and she was amazing! We were having a great conversation and both expressed an interest in one another after a couple days. Wanted to know more about each other and the conversation was moving forward. After a day or two, this same person that I was talking to made a blog post about having played with someone online that night, and it caught me off guard, because I didn't know the person was talking with others in the same manner, or was interested in others.Of course, I didn't respond and a few days later they asked why I had quit talking to them.

This might separate some of you readers, some might not see a problem with this, but being open and honest about things, especially when you're talking with someone you're interested in IS a huge deal.

4: TOO MANY PEOPLE

This might not bother some people, as there are a very large number of people here just looking to meet and talk with as many people as they can, and that's great! There's lots of good and knowledgeable people here. I personally know a lot of them. But just keep in mind, if you're one of those people make sure you've made that very clear on your profile your intentions and that you will talk to many people.

You also have to keep in mind, that talking to too many people at once can and in most cases will lead to the one word responses mentioned above. No matter who you are, you won't have the energy to respond to dozens of people while also remaining interesting. There's nothing wrong with not responding to someone until you have the energy to give the conversation some actual attention. I do this myself.

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Bleh... I hate typing, so I'm done now lol. I just wanted to list a couple things that might help give some insight into the other side of "ghosting" and why it happens so often. In short, if you want to have interesting conversations and not get ghosted: 

1: Show interest in the conversation (no one word responses)

2: Don't force conversation. If you don't want to talk, or don't have much to say, then mention that and go about your day.

3: Be open / honest about your intentions and actions so there's no confusion

4: Try to limit yourself in the number of people you talk to at any given time. You're just one person, you can't spread yourself TOO thin.

 

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I also just wanted to acknowledge that even if you follow the above guidelines you'll still get ghosted a time or two, it can't really be completely avoided as there are just some terrible people out there. But if you keep these things in mind and follow them you'll get ghosted a LOT less....

 

1 year ago. Apr 18, 2021, 1:13 AM

The dark figures that haunt my dreams...

I can never see them but I can feel them, their presence. It's suffocating, like being trapped in a cage made of nothing.
I can feel them while I'm awake. All around me, I can feel them trying to talk to me, but I can't understand what they're trying to say.

They keep me awake, they won't stay quiet long enough for me to sleep. In my dreams they surround me, showing themselves only as if to laugh at me. They keep their faces hidden... I can tell when they want to communicate because they show me their face.

One has a smile, stretching across it's entire face.

One has a frown, stretching across it's entire face.

One doesn't show their mouth, but show fear in their eyes.

One is always crying and hiding behind the others.

One looks at me like I'm food.

One always runs from me.

These things, these creatures, scare others. Making it hard to make friends, and meet people, so I try to keep them hidden.
I don't want others to see them.

Being the only things I have time with I've grown close to them, and wish to understand them better. Do you know who they are?