True Dominance

Insight
1 week ago. Mon 13 Nov 2017 08:03:46 PM IST

I've been asked about this so I'll explain it.

A Stable is the term for us who are into the bdsm kinky lifestyle. Some cultures would say consortium or harem. But for us it's a stable and its mutual and equally agreed. 

Stable as in horse terms. 

The Dom is the steed or stud as it were it can be applied to a master or mistress it does not matter. 

The Subs are the mares I know this sounds derogatory but I've not heard a better way to describe it yet. 

The Stable is the home of the Dom he or she or other I hope I'm not offending there  if my term is wrong please feel free to contact me and correct me.

A Stable is in both parts a living arrangement and a stable environment for Dom and Subs to explore. It genuinely only applies to a Dom who needs various types of Subs. A Sub to control a Sub to be rough with a Sub to torture you get my meaning. 

Agreements need to be written out before the relationship starts assessing a Sub on the Doms point of view is hard because jealousy can creep in and spoil it. 

So my advice is to write up a list of what you the Dom wants and your needs. You can also add as you go along but set out a day when you take everyone out of play getting feedback helps progress. Anyway write a contract you sign first as Dom then get the Sub to sign do individual contracts for each of the Subs. That way you know what their going to agree on and what their not going to. 

Make what you want clear to them sometimes people misread what their signing up to because they feel it's easier to sign and get to the good stuff. 

Vet the person who your in contact with as they may have mental health problems so if possible talk with someone they know personally you don't have to disclose what your relationship is going to be like. This will help you to be informed as to their suitability remember its you who is the Dom not them and it's your stable.

I also find that if you meet for at least two times before you engage in sex you get to have a feel for the person spending the day with them works. Someone may be able to hide their true self for an hour or two but they can't hide for the whole day. That is on a psychological stand point once someone is relaxed they become their selves and it is all on show.

Another piece of advice do not let them act as a potential candidate nor give them that vibe things can get messy really fast.

I think I've covered it if anyone has any questions about this please ask me be blunt in your question go with what, why, how I don't always catch the meaning of things.

Anyway I hope you all have some answers to this now and if there is anyone who has been in a stable or run a stable please message me as I think we should discuss a better term something modern maybe. 

Play safe 

J

1 week ago. Sun 12 Nov 2017 11:04:30 PM IST

If a man puts naked photos of a woman up on the Internet he's out of order. 

I agree to that as it's wrong. 

But if a woman does something similar she's applauded. 

Shame on you all! 

1 week ago. Sat 11 Nov 2017 12:00:46 AM IST

Mine I own this. 

I have resently done something because of past experiences I judged someone and my outburst towards them was done by me being an idiot. 

I dislike that about myself not the judgement of people as everyone does that but the aspect of my lack of trust in another. I reacted with stupidity made a decision when I thought one thing and maybe denyed myself something that I seek. 

I reflect on their returned words and I have to admit I was an idiot. 

J

1 week ago. Thu 09 Nov 2017 05:02:42 PM IST

 

 

Yes this is real it is me I'm not infallible. 

Just thought I'd share, again I'm contacted my hopes arisen in something that is missing from my life and this is what it does to me and my self worth. So with respect to those out there if you contact me and I reply answer me and if your just doing it for a laugh just don't bother.

 

"Alone"
I'm in a room its filled full of people all of which I know.
But alas I feel isolated my ego, pride, personality, intellect and general self feels lonely.
"Heat"
My body is warm it radiates outward warmth soaks warmth from all others sources.
But alas I'm cold inside almost frozen dead I'm shivering.
"Peace"
While I am utterly alone by myself just me and my thoughts there is calm in the chaotic world of me.
But alas my thoughts turn dark a morbid track kicks in I begin to invert my dreams I forget to hope.
"Dreams"
Some nights I sore I fly higher than gravity I drift through the galaxy from star to star smiling, laughing at nothing more than wonder.
But alas other nights I'm haunted by my past the things I've done the things done to me and the things I did at the lowest points of me.
"Sexualization "
I'm a sexual person I like what I like I love my kinks the light and the dark, I love how in control I am the games I play to the fantasies my mind displays.
But alas I hate how I'm attracted to certain things like taste, texture and feel I'm excited, scared and petrified sick of it so I shun and hide that side of me.
"Me"
I live a positive life I try hard to do good I pride myself that I'm accepting of other peoples choices its their life I think I'm being the better me I smile I don't frown I laugh I don't show scorn.
But alas that's my ultimate mask its a front that I have learnt to show I'm not fixed I'm not well my mind is broken still I've dealt with my demons fought the feelings I have but still I feel nothing.
"Feelings"
I'm happy at times those are great there my joy I hunger for those moments for while there inside me I fly while awake.
But alas these do not last because I've lost my joy I seek I search but never do I find gone is the emotion that once kept me bound.
"Others"
Their are those around me that keep me sane help stay within the safety of connection pull me to belong.
But alas I hide from them they see less than half of me my kinks I hide my thoughts I don't share my feelings I don't confide I keep the weakness away from them I am not who I say around them I don't lie to them I just hide from them.
"Future"
I can see the brightness that golden light of life the smiles of family I hear the laughter of youth and smell wonders of growth new and old.
But alas I fear my thoughts as I think, feel, believe with everything that I was that I am and what I will be that I don't deserve it that happiness is not mine to have that my penance is eternal my punishment isn't over my past is not paid for and never will be.
"Human"
I am human I am real I see I touch I breathe I have thoughts I have arms and legs I climb I walk I run I jump.
But alas I think of this one final thing should I do these things should I live a life should I exist.

 

To everyone play safe.

J

3 weeks ago. Thu 26 Oct 2017 11:11:49 AM IDT

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is not fiction so if your going to take the piss that means you any remaining vermin bring it for I'm stronger now. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why oh Why do we tell those lies. 

No hears them for no ones around we're alone but yet we still tell them. 

How many nights does this go on til someone notices our cries. 

The fear that builds up changes constantly from low to high. 

We begin to tell but panic robs us and words become shy. 

Go to where your meant to be day by day people crowding all around. 

Back under cover a place for dreams wanting nothing more than to die. 

Not one to say a thing to no one to ask or scream help at. 

Working hard all day meeting set out targets achieve achieve all by day.

By night you prey the following dear Lord who art in heaven im in hell. 

The mind works it grows you think of the words you have to say. 

Over and over you make this encouraged plea. 

But alas when the time presents itself you shrivel and shrink. 

Again the mind is in chaos fear has wrapped itself up tight. 

You do everything to go unnoticed run, hide away still no peace to let you think. 

You now begin to accept want nightmares bring the monsters in the dark. 

Still unnoticed by those that you want to see for their blind. 

Again and again your noticed by the ones you fear. 

The damage doing your soul they do grinde. 

Life becomes a gray wasteland to you there's colour a plenty but none do you see. 

Each day you get clean hiding the evidence of last night's fear. 

No longer do you cry or even fight you just let it be. 

Starting to feel hate losing love for those that are dear. 

It's now the monsters go some nights pass and nothing and you miss it, them. 

You start to think now should I say because they've gone but that other fear whispers no. 

The fear stays with you day and night the pain has gone but the fear stays. 

You don't even realise until your grown the reason for why they left its you accepted it and that made go. 

 

To those that understand you know of what I speak. To those that don't think on it. And to all know this I'm no longer a child. 

This was personal. 

4 weeks ago. Tue 24 Oct 2017 01:36:13 AM IDT

I maybe wrong or slightly misguided in the way I'm putting this across but I'll say it how it sounds in my head. And if it offends some I apologize now not my intention. So far with subs that have shown interest in myself I've given them truth and they've either made up a story or such one question is it insecurity that gives them flight or what? I don't believe in lying to potential partners that's why I'm the way I am.

Now a little honesty if a female goes dark on me for no reason I'm kind of hurt by it after all being a Dom doesn't mean I have no feelings because I do. With me I bounce back quickly I say in my head well fuck it I'll not chase after its not me to do so am I going to start slating the person no because that would mean my perceived slight mattered.

That may sound cold but if you know me what my life's been like then you understand my self protection aspect is high the way I see things is you do me wrong I'll drop you faster than light travels and not care. I'm not going to waste my time on what I perceive is a slight. 

No idea on why people will string along another or whatever it is. The facts of the matter are if your on this site or one similar then online is good to a degree a few months then well I want the real thing. I get annoyed at being strung along same as everyone else.

So I've been thinking on where my downfall maybe and it might just be my truth that I disclose. So I've decided I'm going to post it if I get what I'm after here.

This is how I'll do it I want messages on this blog page with either of these words (a) Truth. Or (b) Secret.

I'm going to hold off for fourteen days and whichever I get the most of I'm going to do.

Why I'm sick of explaining myself and digitally watch them fuck off its not fair. This way of life holds some very dark corners mine are dark and I'm willing to shine a fucking spot light on it. So another question is, is it my truth or their insecurities and I'll await feedback on this post.

Until then play safe.

J

Me

1 month ago. Mon 16 Oct 2017 09:49:55 PM IDT

I'm working towards becoming a recovery mentor as it helps me with my sobriety and abstinence. I've been in recovery since September 2009 and now its time to help someone else gain where I'm at. I'm always working on me from one thing to the next improve this or that I'm constantly growing as a person my knowledge my empathy. This process of betterment makes me a better Dom in more ways than can be counted as its an emotional level as well as the intellectual one. I put so much work into myself that when I seek my ideal relationship I'm still willing to mould a sub into the right standard of what I want. If a sub or two are willing to bend then I'm all to happy to flex them into the sub's that they wish to be. I know my recovery is a life long thing and I maintain it like you wouldn't believe its hard but I'm stubborn and luckily because I'm a dominant I can maintain it easier than most. It's a hill that your climbing with broken limb's inch by slow inch.

Anyway enough of me just thought I'd share my good update.

Play safe.

J

1 month ago. Mon 16 Oct 2017 09:51:12 AM IDT

My thanks go to my avid reader's my blog is my knowledge. If others can learn from my mistakes or improve themselves by my advice then I'm doing something right. This world we're emersed into is a lonely one we're a minority as a whole and we're viewed by the collective as being taboo. We won't be able to change their opinion of us they'll see our true selves and label us categorize us with a criminal element. We're all a perversion thats not to the mass's normal way of thinking. Just remember this my beautiful people your kink gives you the upper hand. You know what you want, you know what you like and you know what does it for you. Most of them just don't have a clue as to what they want, like or even how to have fun. With this world you need to have fun if you enjoy it then its good everything is met to your standards. 

To those that I've spoken with in the past hope your all well and your getting your fun.

And to all and those I've not yet had the pleasure to speak with enjoy life live it we're here for such a short time moments really make the most of it.

Anyway play safe people.

J

1 month ago. Mon 16 Oct 2017 02:04:08 AM IDT

A dream or The dream?

A dream is really just fantasy we think about the kink or talk about it. Speaking the game is all good if that's all that's wanted but fantasy only lasts for so long. But fantasy isn't enough in the long term of things because of the nature it represents. I'll go a little morbid here with context, serial killers fantasize about killing a human being by quote a dream. So a dream only lasts for so long before we're drawn to action our own kinks play out in our heads and its good its perfect. They always are because a dream has no faults because its my, your, our dreams our partners are Aphrodite herself or Adonis himself. The reality of a dream can sustain a lot a hell of a lot of people for years forever even.

But!!!!!

The dream is action our partners aren't perfect they don't work out the same as in our heads. Theirs faults we see all of them each and every single one of them. We try not to notice but its true we judge their performance more intensely than they deserve. Once you've got or had the dream you look for ways to improve upon it we can help that behavior pattern it human nature the drive to make something better. That sometimes fucks things up believe me I know that sayings true you don't know what you had until its gone. I had the idea setting and I went outside of a voical agreement which screwed the whole thing newbies write out a contract it'll save the stress. It took time for me to come to terms with my mistakes but I evaluated them learnt from them and made myself into a better person. I dealt with my issues and now am ready to have the dream again. This is the down fall of the matter I can't go back to a dream because I've had it already its not enough. The lucky ones might be able to go backwards to just having a dream.

Knowledge is key for this world if we as a group don't acknowledge where we're at personally then we're just messing around with peoples minds and hearts. Is it a dream the fantasy or the dream the reality we're after. On this site we've dealt with fakes, frauds, thieves and deceivers that have gotten us to play into their hands for whatever twisted reason known only to them. We've told them our dreams and they've laughed at it danced around giddily. This sites management has taken notice and weeded a lot of the rot out. 

We can hopefully get what we're here for without them play out a dream unleashing our fantasies or gain the partners to play the dream with. Its choice be clear as to which dream you want.

And play safe.

J

1 month ago. Fri 13 Oct 2017 12:32:44 AM IDT

I want to be a success in life to be better than what I've been. I don't want a life of ruin I need the stability that's afforded hard work. I've worked harder in a shorter time than most people have done in a whole life time.

I'm not been egotistical with that statement as I've said previously I was an addict and an alcoholic I messed up bad and paid the price for my down falls. I worked on myself dealt with the demon that lived in me controlled me even I had to become so much stronger than I was mentally.

And once I gained the strength I beat the fuck out of that demon it broke me left me raw I at that point in my life was at the lowest I'll ever be. Many thoughts ripped my head to shreds things I didn't do things I should've done things I said and didn't say the what ifs I had to accept that I'd caused pain and hurt so many people good people one's who didn't deserve my shit.

I changed me inside out my thought process my attitude my general outlook towards others. I've been the good Dom but I've been the selfish one to luckily I'd not crossed the line of no return but I was close.

I've said before that I was sent to prison that it was for violence. I'm not hiding I'm open what you see is truth I'm the most real you'll ever see because I completely believe in full disclosure. Only a fake won't say only a fraud will hid facts only a scam artist will say pretty things me I'll tell anyone anything I've nothing to his a lot to be ashamed of but by airing my lowest moments in life I don't repeat them. Not everyone is the same that's acceptable as long as within the boundaries of the own relationship their comfortable. It doesn't effect me in any way so that's others choice's.

Me well I'm after something a relationship with multiple partners so if I hold back on the worst of myself then anyone who is interested can say I'd not given them the full facts. I'm not religious in the sense of blindly following a book a bunch of men wrote but I believe that their is a God just not the interpretation that's out there now. This may come over as a rambling but its how I view these things.

If my mind switches from one subject to another that's because it holds long term contexture. I have to speak my mind if I see something that's wrong then rest assured I'll say something about it. I've Learnt that I'm still learning about what it means to be civilized I'm definitely house broken and cultured now but I wasn't always.

I had ridged belief's now I'm flexible in my outlook more understanding that other people have rights to their opinion I may not agree or condone but it don't effect me so really I don't give a shit.

Anyway I've said enough so play safe people.

J