FYI-Rant.
I'm too old for this shit!
I'm too old school. I came into this lifestyle when I was 24 years old. There weren't very many who were around my age when I entered into the lifestyle. I had to jump through hoops and learn so much, and I had to show everyone my level of education way before I was ever accepted by others. These kids today (yes I call them kids because they are the same age as my kids). They come in jumping head first expecting acceptance and then going around trying to change others in the lifestyle that have been here for years. Telling U/us that we need to accept everyone for who and what they are.
Well guess what? NO! No, I don't. And I won't.
I will give you the chance to learn, I will let you be who you are. But I will never see you as equals until you jump through some of the hoops and prove you can handle yourself respectfully. RESPECTFULLY! Meaning, you need to respect those who have done the work and laid down all the ground work for you to be able to join the lifestyle and free yourselves from the oppression of "society".
You think you know something because you have read or watched 50 shades of SHIT. NO! That's crap. I wont accept it. You need to put in the leg work and time it takes to know a thing or two before you can call yourself a Dominant or submissive.
Figure out who you are! Figure out what the lifestyle is and what it has to offer! Figure out what you want out of the lifestyle! Figure out what the lifestyle means to you! And figure out what you want to get out of the lifestyle!
If you are not able to answer ALL of these questions, you are not ready!
Do some research.
Ask some questions, ask LOTS of questions!
Find mentors, yes more than one!
Learn, soak up the knowledge of those who have been around awhile; absorb what we have to teach you!
Show us what you have learned, and be grateful for what we teach you.
End of rant.
But really, I understand the frenzy of finding this lifestyle and the wonders it has to offer. We all go through that faze. They call it Dom/sub frenzy. We become kids in a candy store wanting to eat one of everything just to taste them. Trust me, I've been there. But please realize how dangerous this lifestyle can be.
I'm an edge player. This means I enjoy doing all the dangerous things in the lifestyle forms of play. Knife play, breath play, hypnosis, blood play, sharps play. Sharps is anything that is pokey and can break the skin, knives, staples, needles, scalpels. As an edge player, I have taken the time to learn how to do all these things safely by researching and finding mentors who knew these things very well and were known for being safe about it.
I am proud to say that I have only cut one person without meaning to, and that was because right after I told her not to move it's very sharp, she moved like an idiot. I immediately stopped and looked after her and the cut. She acted like it wasn't a big deal. I won't play with her again.
You see, even though I love blood play, in order to enjoy it fully I have to knowingly and consciously make my submissive bleed for me. There has to be that deep D/s connection. And I require blood test from everyone I do blood play with before the play. I also make sure there is tarps or some kind of protection laid down on the floor or table where I play. I also make sure I have the correct lighting that is needed. I know my knives well enough that I have never cut someone with them other than that one girl. I don't use my knives for cutting, although I keep them sharp for the fear experience. I use my sharps for breaking skin. I use surgical instruments that are unopened before using them on someone. And I dispose of them correctly after the only one time use of them. But the biggest thing, is that I have to have that deep D/s connection with the person. Other wise it's meaningless. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE blood! It's my favorite thing! But I do it with a very select few. I could go into that more, but it would be a whole new post about blood, and I might just do that down the road.
I had a dominant friend of mine go to a club with friends, and this dominant, played with someone they were friends with. The lighting was very bad at this place, and although they claimed to know their tools well enough, they cut the person badly with one small swipe with a knife that wasn't meant to be used for cutting. They had to leave in a hurry to get to a hospital. Which the club is in the city, over an hour from home, so they didn't know these doctors and were scared of what to tell them. Everything turned out okay, but it could have been much worse had these players not been responsible enough to go to the hospital. Everyone joked for weeks that I should have been there because of how much I love blood. I just shake my head because that wouldn't have gone well in front of me. I would have been pissed it happened, in fact, I was in many ways.
The moral of this cautionary tail is that even those who think they know, don't always know. Take your time getting to know people before submitting to them. Watch how they play with others. Learn how safe they really are before you put your life in their hands.
I have heard of and seen worse. More experiences to come later.
