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Kissing Tears

AK's world. The thoughts and desires of a Goddess.
My blog is about Education, Emotions, and Fun experiences that I love sharing.
Please remember I am a High Protocol Goddess and to be respectful when commenting and responding to others.
I encourage everyone to respond if feel like it. If you are shy and rather send me an email, you may do that as well.
I'm here to teach and make friends. I am open to mentoring those who are looking to learn more.
1 week ago. Aug 1, 2020, 9:29 AM

BRAGGART: Someone who brags every chance they get. Sometimes it's about famous people they have met, other times it is about things they can do that people normally can't do, or anything they feel would impress them. They will brag about these things to other people like friends, family, and new people they meet. Even new Dominants they are trying to get to know.  

The dictionary defines braggart as: "a person who boasts about achievements or possessions".

 

Most of the time braggarts brag about things to people they are talking to, and those people do not care about any of it. Recently, I have come across a few submissives like this in person and online. They will brag about things they think they can do, or silly things like who they know, money, or even things that are so outrageous there's no way I believe what they are saying. Non of those things matter to ME. Non of those things are going to matter to any Domme you talk to. 

When you boast about people or things that are not the Dominant you serve, or anything having to do with Them, you are basically telling that Dominant that those things are more important, more impressive, and that you care more about those superficial things more then the Dominant in your life. 

D/s dynamics is about submissives showing the Dominant they are the most important thing in their life, and the Dominants cherishing the submission the sub is offering. Yes, it is about the power exchange. You can't have an exchange if only one person is doing their part in the relationship. A submissives focus should be on the Dominant. The Dominant will focus their energy on their submissive when all their needs are being fulfilled. So, stop bragging and put your energy where it should go, into submission. Those other things, do not matter!

 

Shania twain says it best, so I will let her tell you!

 

 

 

2 weeks ago. Jul 25, 2020, 8:56 PM

Warning* Please remember I am a High Protocol Domme, and the way I treat my submissives or slaves is going to be different than the way others will handle theirs. 

 

Background: My sex slave is just that. When I am in need of sex or pleasure in this way I let him know I am on my way over. We have been together since 2007. We are more friends than anything, but our dynamic has never changed. I am always the one in charge and he always does as he is told. Following orders isn't an option, it's simply what you do or you are no longer mine, and he's really good at following orders. I have never had an issue with him. We have had some amazing sex over the years. When I think about things to masturbate to, more often than not, it's always something I've done with him. He is a super private person, so we have never done anything in public before. It is the number one thing that scares him most because he is an excessive of a corporation and fears being exposed and fired. 

 

Thursday Night: Thursday he text me that he would be driving through town on his way home from a meeting, and asked if I would like to join him for lunch. Of course, I was delighted. It has been awhile since I've seen him because of the lock downs and the world ENDING. *joking not joking*

He told me how long it was going to be before he would arrive, so I showered and got ready. When he arrived, we went to one of the only places doing out door seating right now, and one of my favorite places to eat. We ordered drinks, I had a salad he had a side of bacon. This is kind of his norm when he drinks he eats only bacon so that he maintains. Besides he was technically still working. Which he did take two business calls during lunch, and we bantered in between the calls. Then we started negotiations. Because we were in a public vanilla place, we did all this in code. You know like, I referred to him an independent contractor and I was the corporation offering him a full time position. We went back and forth like that for a few hours between calls and more drinks, and of course he kept ordering more sides of bacon. *Side note (If you have never tried fresh bacon when you are drinking, I highly recommend doing so). 

While we were sitting there I got a text from a close friend of mine who is a submissive going through a really tough time right now. Her husband left her for her best friend, and then a couple of weeks after that happened her house burned down. She text asking for company. I let her know I had a slave with me. She said she didn't mind if I brought him a long, so I did. 

By the time we gotten there it had started to get dark. We had a very long lunch date, and now it was rolling over into a dinner thing at a friends house. When we arrived at her place, we got out of the car and started kissing and making out in the driveway before heading in. As we walked up to the door just past my friends car, we noticed the neighbor as he and two of his friends said hello. I smiled, and said hello back as my slave turned beet red. 

My friend has two dogs, a small little dog and a giant husky. As we made our way past them into the house without letting the dogs escape, I greeted my friends and made introductions. There was another friend of mine already there, Lady DVon Raven. A female dominant who I've been friends with close to 8 years now. We sat down, me in the nice big comfy chair, and him at my feet where he belonged on the floor. The ladies and I chatted catching up with each other, and I asked if there was anything new. The submissive female, replied with pointing a finger towards the big box next to the front door saying, "oh, my new bike came in today, but it needs to be put together". I turned to my slave and said hop to it. Go build the bike. 

He did as he was told and put the bike together. As a reward, I let him kiss, lick and suck on my toes and feet. I love foot worship. Just before we left, I took him in to one of the guest rooms and made him eat me out. I dropped my pants, laid on the bed and told him to get on his knees and please me. He obeyed, and as he was down there licking me so well, I wrapped my legs around his head and held him there shoving him deeper with my hands, so he couldn't breath as I told him to keep going. When I finally came, I pushed him away, and told him he wasn't allowed to clean his face the rest of the night. 

We said our good byes and headed out to the car. As he drove me home, he told me all the things he enjoyed, and asked if I knew that he liked those things. I chuckled wickedly and replied, "of course. I know you better than you think. We've been together since 2007, you think by now I don't know you or what you like? Silly boy". As he dropped me off, I told him he was to play with himself when he got home but isn't allowed to cum tonight. 

 

Oh the fun life I live! I wouldn't change it for the world! 

 

Lunch- Bud-light for him with bacon, and raspberry  lemon drops for myself. 

Foot worship for reward, where every good submissive belongs :D 

3 weeks ago. Jul 20, 2020, 5:26 AM

The best form of meditation and relaxation for myself is painting. I started painting the year my mother passed away.

I watch a lot of YouTube tutorials with step by step instructions. Sometimes I will venture out and do an original painting. But this is one I followed Micheal the painter on YouTube to do. I changed it by putting it on two canvases so it can be split to hang up. 

4 weeks ago. Jul 13, 2020, 6:35 AM

I get asked a lot about how I picked my scene name, AphroditesKiss, so here is the history of how I picked it and why. 

 

I have always known the BDSM Lifestyle existed since I was ten years old and saw, "Exit to Eden", I just wasn't sure how to find it. When I saw the movie at such a young age, I knew then I would be a Domme someday. But it wasn't until years later that I actually would find the lifestyle by tripping over a BDSM website while looking for good porn. Hot Damn, I found it! 

 

I started reading everything. The blogs, the magazine, the forums and chatting in the chat room with everyone. I googled and searched things to understand more about things I have never heard about before. I asked so many questions, and I asked them to multiple people to get different perspectives. Everything I read and learned just confirmed what I already knew, I am dominant. 

 

Time came to pick my scene name so I could start moving forward with things. Knowing I wanted to be addressed as Goddess by my future submissives, I researched all the different Goddesses in a few different cultures. Aphrodite was the first to catch my eye. I have always felt a deep connection with her, but wanting to make sure I picked the one that matched my personality and who I am as a dominant, I kept looking. Sure enough after two weeks, I had to circle back to Aphrodite. I have always embodied her essence. Her sexuality, loving and caring nature. I have her wicked tempter with the capability to hold a grudge. And I have the ability to draw people to me and make them fall in love with me without even trying. I tried Aphrodite, but of course the name was taken. When I really thought about it, I wanted to change it or add to it because I was more than just her, I am me as well. I love to kiss and bite, and I love being kissed. So, Kiss was added to the name. 

 

Next I took my time getting to know people that have been in the lifestyle for more than 20 years, and found mentors to teach me everything I wanted to know and learn. I had those that were experienced in impact play, single tails, flogging, enigmas and anal play, needles, and domination in general. Through theses friendships, and mentor-ships,  I developed my domination skills. I then dove deeper into high protocol through the Gorean lifestyle. Even though they believe all women to be under or submissive to men, I do not adhere to their beliefs, but I did take a lot from their protocols and turned them into mine. I worked on self training with experienced submissives privately in person and online. I developed a code for myself. I set boundaries I never want to cross, morals I never want to brake, and standards for the people I will allow into my life. I developed my style of domination and protocols. 

 

You see, to me, being a Goddess is more than being worshiped, adored and serviced. I have a duty to my submissives to help them become the best person they can be. The best human for themselves before ever considering what they can do for me. If they do not know who they are, what they want in life or in the lifestyle, or don't know where they want to go in life; if they don't know what morals they should have and abide by, then how could they ever give themselves to another. Training is a long processes. The first part being self-discovery. This part allows both the sub and myself to get to know each other on a deeper level than just D/s. I want to know your most inner thoughts, hopes and dreams. I want to know what makes you tick, what makes you sad, what makes you angry and what makes you laugh. And you do not want the same from me, then I will discover quickly we are not a good match. 

 

Play time comes later. Yes, I start with a tasting. This normally happens still in the beginning stages of getting to know each other, maybe after I put you under consideration. Learning your body at the same time I am learning your mind is most helpful. Body language is key to understanding each other. But I'm getting off topic. 

 

That is how I picked my name and why. I also added a bit about my domination style. But just the tip. ;) LOL Hopefully this sheds some light for some of you. 

 

Me at the Power Exchange in SF, CA 2007

 

 

 

1 month ago. Jun 26, 2020, 10:48 PM

Fucking stupid so called submissives! 

How can you even call yourself a sub if you contact a Domme and ask to be one of theirs and they turn you down, but you come back to explain that the reasons they give you are wrong?

WHAT THE FUCK? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? GO FUCK YOURSELF?

Look, I am normally a very patient person with idiots. BUT COME ON!

I told you NO in a one word email. you came back with why? please at least explain. So, I go out of MY way to write you a DETAILED email explaining every little reason to you. And YOU have the nerve to tell ME that MY reasons are WRONG??? 

 

GO FUCK YOURSELF! YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT IT IS TO BE A SUBMISSIVE! FUCK OFF AND DIE FOR ALL I CARE AT THIS MOMENT! STOP WASTING MY TIME!

 

This one clearly hit a never. Or maybe it's just one of those days you shouldn't fuck with ME. I don't know. I have just had enough in this moment to deal with such audacity from an ass hat! 

 

*Deep breaths, write some more and get it out of your system.

 

HOW DO THESE PEOPLE EXIST? 

 

If you clearly don't know something, go FUCKING LEARN IT!  

 

I told you that I only have one title, GODDESS! And yet you continue to address Me as Mistress. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

you say it's a sign of respect, and you don't use MY actual title due to religious reasons.... 

WELL GUESS FUCKING WHAT! THEN YOU CAN'T BE MINE! NOW FUCK OFF!

 

RESPECT ..... if you were actually respecting Me you would STOP emailing and begging ME to understand your side of things! 

 

I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOUR SIDE OF THINGS! 

 

YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF MY TIME!

 

FUCK OFF! 

 

 

1 month ago. Jun 26, 2020, 12:20 AM

*Warning: Please remember who is posting this. I am a High Protocol Goddess. My style and protocols may not fit yours and we may differ in how we do things. So, do not post negative judgmentally comments on how I treat my submissives, and I wont have to respond by putting you in your place.

*chuckles wickedly.

 

Soooooo, today I was chatting with an submissive I have been playing with online and trained years ago.

 

I like to keep in contact with all those I have trained at one time or another. I keep tabs on them, make sure they are continuing with training and I love to hear about any and all relationships they go through. It's rewarding to know I have done something and made an impact on their lives. 

 

Any how, this is one of my Spanish boys who lives in Spain. he's so adorable and very submissive. I haven't talked much with him in the last couple of years due to concentrating on college for myself, (Self education is just as important). So, we started chatting on skype again a couple of weeks ago. He smothers me with love and affection, reminding me why I love him so much. And starts filling me in on his life and what's been going on since we last spoke. He even started sending me video's again of him doing all the submissive things I have taught him and he has kept up on, (I won't give details because those are trade secrets). ;) 

 

As we were talking this morning, we turned the subject to the political climate of today and what is going on in the world since we live in different countries. I find it interesting to talk about more than just lifestyle things with my subbies, (and I will call them mine even when I down own them because I have trained them). So, he made a comment about those who are refusing to wear mask, and I replied with, "you are always going to have rebellious ass hats that don't know shit running around stirring more shit up than they should". 

 

Now, for those that don't know me and don't know much about High Protocols, there is a proper way to speak to and respond to dominants no matter how or what they say. As long as you are respectful in how you respond and remember your place in how you do so, there shouldn't be a problem. And one of the first thing I do with boys I train, is go over the proper language of High Protocol. It takes time to learn if you are not naturally inclined to do so. 

 

SOooooo...... his response to me: "Correct...". 

 

A simple one word response and full sentence. Most would think nothing of this. And it seems harmless. BUT... in HP this simple comment means so much and is the WRONG way to answer ME!

 

What followed: 

Me: "correct"? I don't need you to justify that I am right, I know I am always right!

him: You are Goddess ! My apologies.

Me: seems it's been too long, you are forgetting your place. 

him: Please excuse this bitchboy if you found his answer ungentle or inappropriate 😣 

Me: It's fine, just remember your place. 

him: My apologies Goddess, wont forget that! I hate disappointing you Goddess 😣.. I’ll remember my place on the future. 

Me: I know you wont repeat this mistake any time soon because you don't enjoy punishments. 

 

You see, I have done some really evil things to subbies for punishments, even online. Punishments are not something they should ever seek out. They are meant to teach a lesson, not for fun or games. There is a huge difference between Funishments and Punishments. And in HP we don't do Funishments. There is rewards, and there are punishments. So the moral of this is....... 

 

Remember your place! 

(Yes, these are MY feet. I was finally able to go get a pedicure today. First one since February). 

 

1 month ago. Jun 24, 2020, 9:56 PM

I wanted to explain a little more about mind fucks. Yes, I broke my slave down and made him so confused he didn't know what to do, but after, which I didn't mention in the post is, that he knew after what I had done and why.

 

Submissives like everyone, get stressed out in their everyday lives. By breaking them down and then taking care of them after, cuddles lots of love and time together, they learn they don't have to stress when they are mine. I will let them be carefree, fun loving, enjoying life submissives. I'm there to listen to their problems and help them through them. And when they need a break and to escape reality, I take them to subspace. 

 

Mind fucks is a way to de-stress the mind. To reset it. And it's fun.

 

The mind fuck I wrote about is only one way to do a mind fuck. There are lots of different types of mind fucks. There's also Fear play. Where the Dom makes you think or believe one thing like they are going to cut you, or something that you are really scared of, then they do something else. Something totally different like tickle you.

 

It comes down to making a submissive believe one thing is going to happen and then do something different. That's the basics of a mind fuck. This confuses the mind, causing it to 

 

But I want to be very clear, my slave enjoyed it, he loved it. And there's a difference between a mind Fuck and abuse. Mind fucks are something the dominant should discuss with their partner after it's over too explain what just happened. They have the responsibility to make sure the submissive is put back together after it's over. If they don't do those two things, it's abuse.

 

After care is SO important! And even MORE so when you do a mind fuck because with a mind fuck you are breaking them, tarring them down. YOU HAVE to build them back up and comfort them. Make them feel loved! Reassure them that you will always be there. Without the after care, you will loose trust, respect and the connection that could have been made stronger by doing the mind fucked, and you would have wasted a valuable opportunity to grow closer with your submissive. 

 

If you do not know how to properly take care of your submissive after doing ANYTHING to them, do NOT do it to them!

 

Do NOT do mind fucks if you do not know your sub very well or not for long! This is something I will stress over and over again. DON'T fucking do something if you don't know what you are getting into! And if you think you do know, make sure you have someone there that is experienced in what ever it is you are going to try for the first time. 

 

I have never done anything dangerous alone for the first time. Mentors are necessary if you want to be a good or even great dominant.  Having mentors is not taking away your power or there to undermine you. They are there to help you learn, grown and to support you when you need it as a Dominant. 

 

So please remember Mentors and After care are VERY important! 

 

If anyone has any further questions, please reach out and email me. 

AK~

(This is a photo of my pet and I doing after care at PE

in SF during 2008 after a very intense scene we did). 

 

1 month ago. Jun 24, 2020, 7:18 AM

Warning * This is a true story based on true events. The names will not be named to protect those that were involved in this scene. 

 

A long time ago, when I was much younger and just getting settled in the public scene of the BDSM community, I use to meet up with a group of friends and my owned submissives. 

 

At this time, I owned 4 submissives: My cookie, My doll, My pet, and My slave. My slave is the deepest maso I know and this scene is one I did with him. 

 

Like normal, we all met in SF for dinner before the dungeon opened. When we were finished, we went to the club before it opened and set everything up. I then played with the others I owned. After a nice break, I then turned to my slave.

 

I shoved him against the cross and told him to stand there with his hands behind his back and not to move. Then I attached a ton of tinny little wooden clothes pins all over the front of his body. On his nipples, chest, belly, ears, arms, legs, ball sack, and cock of course. he started bouncing and giggling with excitement as I picked up the single tail. I cracked it once in the air, then took aim and started whipping each clothes pin off one by one. They started flying everywhere around the dungeon as I can hear each one land on the cement floor. 

 

Next I took out my other toys one by one and beat him with them until I changed to the next one, using my paddle, floggers, canes, crops, and finally coming to my buggy whip. My slave loves my buggy whip. With every zing he begs for more, "please Goddess, please give me more. More please, PLEASE give me more". Loving every bit of pain I am inflicting upon him until I was tired of swinging things around and satisfied finally reaching that sweet Dom high of Dom space. 

 

Next I told him to kiss my feet and then crawl around the floor and pick up all the clothes pins. By this time they were everywhere. As he collected them he would bring them to me, place them in my hand, kiss my feet and crawl off to get more. As he crawled away, I would point in one direction saying, "you missed some over there" and throw the ones in my hand in the opposite direction. I kept this up as everyone in the dungeon stood by laughing and enjoying the humiliation of my slave. 

 

Once I tired of that, I moved on and told my slave I was done, "come kiss my feet" which he is always over joyed to do. As he kissed my feet I said, "okay sweety, you may get up now". As he kissed my feet one last time and started to rise I slammed my foot on his shoulder and said, "What the FUCK do you think you're doing"? 

 

With a thud, he slammed down to the ground and as he gasped he began kissing my feet again and begging for forgiveness with, "Goddess I'm so sorry, Please forgive me. I am so bad, I thought you said I could get up, please forgive me". To which I chuckled and replied, "Oh, I did sweety, you can get up". 

 

Once again, as he started to rise I slammed my foot on his shoulder and asked him, "What are you FUCKING doing"? Again, he started kissing my feet and begging for forgiveness. This continued in rotation of me granting him permission and him begging for forgiveness, just to have me stomp him down again six or seven more times. Then he finally collapsed on the floor in tears crying so much he was blubbering. 

 

Everyone in the dungeon was snickering and waiting to see what would happen next. As he cried I started to nudge him with one foot and as the room fell into a hush waiting for what would come next. I leaned down and said in the sweetest voice, "sweety, why are you crying"? As he tried to speak through the tears I could hear him say, "because I don't know what to do" which only made the entire dungeon bust up laughing. 

 

I smiled wide, and giggled as I said, "sweety, that's all I wanted. you may get up now". 

 

And that was the best mind fuck EVER!

 

(My slave and I 2007 at the Folsom Street Fair)

1 month ago. Jun 22, 2020, 6:08 AM

I remember when I first started out, I had tons of questions as well. That is part of why I love to answer others. I've been there. I know what it's like struggling for answers. Trying to find the right answers.

Let me start by saying, there are no wrong answer.... in theory.

Of course someone is going to be out to prove anything you say wrong. But for the most part, you do you boo. 

 

I received an email today from a fellow dominant asking about, "how am I able to be a good complete owner when your family is very against BDSM"?

 

By family, they meant siblings and parents. 

 

Here is my reply:

"Okay, so here's the scoop.

 

I will tell you this, I have friends who are very private around "vanilla's" that are in their lives, and I have friends that are completely open and honest with everyone in their life about who they are and what they are into.

 

I happen to be out to everyone except my father. And if he found out I wouldn't care. Even my kids have known their whole lives about my lifestyle and what I do. I just keep details from them. But they know about the lifestyle and the dynamics I have with my partners.

Side note:

(My kids even knew the difference between bisexuals and gays well enough to explain it to class mates at school when they were ten years old, because I am bisexual. To which, I received a phone call from the principle one day, thanking me for making sure my kids were informed enough that they were able to explain it to other students. But I will save that for another post)

 

But it is a choice you have to make for yourself. What does it mean to you? How much do you want others to know? And how much do you want to keep to yourself?

 

It comes down to what you are comfortable telling anyone. If you know they do not approve of your lifestyle, you do not need to talk to them about it. You do not need to do anything in front of them. If you have a partner that you want to bring around the "vanillas" in your life, the best thing to do is set up different protocols for when you are around "vanilla people" in your life.

 

Examples: Instead of your sub calling you "Sir" in front of them, try a pet name like "Hun", or "Babe", or anything you think would be a good fit. She can still respond to you correctly.... "yes, Hun" ... "right away, Hun" .... "what ever you want, Hun".... But it doesn't have to be obvious to others what is going on. To vanilla's it will like like she is a doting girlfriend.

 

I like to call mine, "sweets" or "cookie". But like I said, I'm out to everyone in my life, so my submissives always call me Goddess regardless of who's around. It's only when we go around their vanilla families we have to act semi vanilla. When we are I allow them to call me by my name. 

 

Also, you can have her dress appropriately in front of them, have her sit next to you instead of on the floor.

Make sure to have these conversations with your submissives ahead of time. Don't drop it on them last minute. Give them time to practice different protocols out in public. Take them out to dinner and require them to use those protocols so they can get use to them. That way when you are around your family or "vanillas", things will come natural for the both of you. You can still have a complete D/s relationship and interact with "vanillas" without them knowing it.

Best of Luck to you,

AK~"

 

What I forgot to mention was collars, so they sent me another email asking about just that. 

 

Collars are what you make them to be. It can be a piece of string tied around your wrist, or a piece of jewelry. But most designers and stores are making them today because it's become a fashion fade for vanillas to wear them. But there are also some wonderful BDSM and community people who make some wonderful things, including collars. 

 

My favorite designer, and close friend of mine is Twisted Baby Girl. Feel free to check out her shop. She is an amazing person and just had her house burned down a couple of weeks ago due to a brush fire. And she lost everything. She is in the process of rebuilding but could use all the love you could give. If you send her an email, she can custom make something for you, it just might take awhile. Most of her collars come with matching earrings and key, and they are made by hand. 

 

https://www.alittletwisted.shop/

 

Thank you all for the love and support you give each other here. It's truly amazing to see!

 

 

 

 

 

1 month ago. Jun 21, 2020, 9:59 PM

This was inspired by PlusSzdPrincess’s blog post, “Saddened”.

 

Many believe because dominants are in control of the relationship, or are dominant at all, that We are less emotional, less weak.

 

This is a huge misconception! HUGE!

 

W/we are all Human. W/we all have insecurities about who W/we are and our dynamics. When I use “W/we”, I am referring to both Dominants and submissives.

 

As Doms We are just as much inside our heads wondering similar things that submissives do.

 

*Am I doing a good job with my partner?

*Am I meeting all their needs?

*Do they really feel that way about me, or are they putting on a façade?

*Do they really get pleasure from this or are they pacifying me?

*What do I do when I must punish them, and I do not know how to?

*Why did they flake on me?

*Am I ugly?

*Did I tell them too much or too little about myself?

*Are they afraid of commitment or just do not want to be with me?

 

Now, each of these questions come from a different situation, but they are genuine feelings that Dominants have. Most of which I am sure submissives have, or at least something similar to them only from the bottom outlook of it. But I bring this up because I see so many submissive support groups and completely love that they do that for each other.

 

BUT…. What most forget, or do not think about is that Dominants also need support. We need fellow Doms we can talk to and share information with and be able to rely on each other for support when We need it just as much as submissives do.

 

And this brings Me to My point, I want to reach out to all of You fellow Dominants to let You know I am here if You need someone to bounce ideas around with. I am here if You need a listening ear, someone You can confide in. Someone who will not shame You but to support You and understand the things you are going through because I have been there. We can support each other through good times as well as bad!

We don’t have to be competition for each other, We can be much more. We can be friends, allies, and support each other throughout Our journeys.

 

With all My love and support, don’t be shy. Reach out to Me anytime.

AK~