Connection
I kind of have stopped looking for a submissive boyfriend because no one wants a connection . . . they just want to a be a faceless “slave” (I hate that term). . . they bend backward claiming to sacrifice themselves to make their “doms” happy. (Or they want to sexual satisfy their dom and go home. . .)
To me it is NOT like that.
Submissive to me is someone who understand that I am in control: I like to micromanage. They have faith in me that I will use their money and asset in a responsible way. I will pay the bills, I will make the menu (and yes I do ask what are their favorite meals? etc.) I want both side to be satisfied.
(Notice: I do not mention anything sexually. I cannot enjoy sex because of pain. Best way to describe this, but it’s like someone punching me in the pelvis after I orgasm and then add a charly-horse to my thighs and pelvis for days after the orgasm. No one is worth that pain, and pain to be is instant turn off)
I want someone who within my age limit (that is a blog on its own), not into kids, at least okay with cat, but totally into me (lets me be into them. If it is not a two way street then it will not work. I do NOT mean submission, I mean interest and connection. )
Connection to me . . . someone who understand I will have more bad days than good days. They need to learn about me (more than 160 characters in a texts) . . . they need to know if they can help me on my bad days or simply let me be. I have health issues and mental issues and even though I am working on them. . . it’s a day by day thing. Some days I may seem more cheerful than others, do not expect it the next day.
I am very honest, except if I am say I am “ok or fine.” Ok usually only means, either the day was boring, or my writing or my cooking wasn’t as adventurous as I wanted. Fine never means fine. . . it’s now I say fine, if I sigh, I have a chaos and drama in my head, but it’s so tangle I can’t get it out or I feel you are just asking because you feel you have to, but don’t really care. If I growl when I say I’m fine, then I’m mad at something and it’s best that you leave it at that or I will yell at you for nothing. If I know you are not interested in my day, I will not tell you. (I really want someone interested in and excited about me. I want a possible submissive boyfriend to have a permanent desire or drive for me.)
I’m a writer, so I want fellow writer or at least a reader. (If you do NOT read my blogs and profile, there will be no true connection between us. I am dominant writer. I am 36 years and within the last 16 years, I have figured out this. )
He has to understand I help out my family, so if it’s between him and my family, my family comes first as they can handle my health issues and mental issues better than most.
My ex and I wrote letter, wrote stories, texted, talked on the phone three months even before we met and we were just eight miles from each other.
In 2017, I had just over dozen one time dates and probably two dozen no shows. I am knew I had rushed things. . . Mid 2018, I just stopped looking as majority of guy claim they want to submit, but they just want a reverse version of 50 shades. (Come home from work and get tied up. . . it’s NOT like that with me.)
I will NOT rush things. I actually want to build something. However that is if the fates want me to have someone there has be a connection and there has to be a mutual feelings on body sides. I am not just looking for a submissive. I want my next guy to be a submissive boyfriend for long term. . . possible marriage like submissive husband.
I will not agree to a date with just one day of chat.
I want to chat with someone daily. They need to see the good and bad.
