It’s so easy to get lost in taking care of everyone else’s needs. It almost becomes second nature. Ignoring yourself. Always focusing on what everyone else desires. Sometimes the hardest thing to do to set everyone else aside to focus on yourself. I’m struggling to do that right now.
I’m sitting on the tailgate of my truck. Parked on the banks of a small lake. Listening to a set of campers about 100 yards away, playing music from the 80’s and 90’s through the speakers of their little white beat up Ford ranger. It’s a good song. I remember listening to it in high school. Can’t remember the name. Something about comparing a girl to a comet.
There are little fish jumping near the bank to snatch the last bugs of the season, before winter finally decides to blow its icy breath. The sun is to my left. The trees are still mostly greens, but there are patches of browns and yellows and oranges. The lake isn’t large, especially at this part. I can see the far side clearly. There’s a boat about half way out. Drifting along quietly. The two people in it are slowly tossing their rods and reels out in the open water.
Just a few minutes ago, I had four ducks decide to come pay me a visit. Two large, two small. Three of them were white, but one of the smaller ones was covered in browns and greens. Had a few crackers in my truck. They ate them greedily out of my fingers, then wandered back into the water and swam away when they realized that no more food was forthcoming.
Bohemian Rhapsody just came across the radio. The sun is slowly making its way towards the horizon. Sliding silently behind a few distant clouds. The slight breeze that was so comfortable just a moment ago has taken on a soft chill.
Mmmm... the sun’s back. Warm on my shoulders.
Blues, whites, greens, browns... these are the colors that are surrounding me. Nothing is black-and-white. And yet, everything is simple for a moment.
The boat just fired up its motor, startling one of the ducks on the water into flight. It’s speeding quickly away. I guess the fish aren’t biting today.
Another truck just pulled up. A big black Chevy. I had hoped to find a place where I could be alone with my thoughts. Oh well. It may not be what I was hoping for, but it’s working anyway. I can feel my stress starting to melt away. Not much, but enough.
I’m getting a slight whiff of wood smoke from someones campfire. It’s nice. I’ve missed that.
I guess it’s time for me to start thinking about heading back.
