I have always thought of myself, and actually heard from previous submissives including the most recent one that I'm an excellent Dom. This came crashing down recently. Maybe not crashing just stinging. My most recent previous submissive informed me that there was a single activity that we did that she didn't like doing but did it anyway because the Dom is the one who is in control. This was a new revelation and something I had not heard from her previously. She said she didn't mention which activity so it would never be taken completely off the menu.
I have always prided myself on communicating to the submissive that she is free to communicate what she likes and what she does not like. Yes, the submissive gives control to the Dom, but the submissive still always maintains control of what activity she participates in during the D/s time. So, imagine my horror when I hear this revelation from the recent previous submissive. It broke my heart and upset me terribly. The submissive should feel safe and heard. The submissive should be doing the activities they want to participate in during D/s time. Yes, the Dom is the tool that makes the activity happen, but at no time should a submissive just go with an activity because the Dom likes it even though she doesn't like it.
Communication and trust are the pillars of a successful D/s relationship. With these in place so much is possible. From a Dom's perspective, you need to know what the submissive is thinking and wants and does not want during D/s. The reason I am writing about this is to remind anyone who reads this entry, communicate with your partner during D/s. Talk with them. Talk about everything and anything. Communication is key,