I'm just communicating an experience. For better or worse...probably worse. Just rambling...
It's been a tough time recently. The person I enjoyed D/s with has moved on. The end to a D/s relationship is really hard especially after quite abit of time has been invested. I'm an exceptional Dom who wants to be the only Dom in someone's life. I understand some people can play D/s with others, but it just seems odd to me. I'm much more on building a relationship and earning someone's trust to enjoy D/s. I've always worked hard to emphasize communication, communication, communication. With communication comes trust. Trust is key to a D/s relationship. With trust comes the ability to explore many avenues within D/s. For me, there's also a close emotional tie that also comes with it.
I always like to know where I stand with someone. When someone tells me, I don't know, to me, it means they don't want to say. Honesty is key to a D/s relationship. Some though want the benefit of the doubt. Webster defines benefit of the doubt as the state of accepting something/someone as honest or deserving of trust even though there are doubts. My biggest flaw is not giving someone that benefit of the doubt. I've been burned several times in the past. After giving someone the benefit in the past, the truth would come out later and it would make me feel embarrassed and foolish, like I was the only one that didn't know.
In this instance, this person had very close ties to another male friend. After a couple of trips where the two met up, the D/s part of our relationship ended abruptly. When I made an invite to D/s, the person said we don't do that anymore without any explanation as to why. A couple of more invites were made, and the same response was received. I asked about their connection and as you can guess that didn't go well. Benefit of the doubt was brought up and caring more about what happened on the trips instead of the person. Which is probably true and was a mistake on my part. However, I like to know where I stand with people so I'm not the fool again. What makes this worse is it happened over text! Like high school.
It drives me crazy having deep and/or serious conversations over text. You can't tell someone's facial expressions and it simply makes it too easy to say things you would never say in person. Turns out, people have quite the mouth on them while texting, lol. I can work with a phone conversation because someone's voice tells a lot. You can tell emotion from voices and people are much more likely to be civil when voices are involved. By the way, it is true, when someone starts cursing at you, they have lost control of the conversation. I do make a lot of mistakes and hope to learn from them.
It's hard when a D/s relationship ends. Emotions, communication and trust.
