It's been over a year since I lost my kitten and I still have not recovered. I was her Sir. Sir trained her from the newbie she was to the trusted submissive. On occasion, kitten will come around, but she won't stay long. I don't even know if the submissive desire she had even is lit. I remember when she first started she was so unsure and very much a brat. After a scene, she would quickly scamper away. Over time, the trust was built and the scenes got more involved. It was through these scenes and the trust, I earned the ability to make her cum with my fingers and my tongue. She earned the right to orgasm by asking the question "Sir, please may I cum" She answered to Sir. When she would orgasm within the scene or away it was with Sir in mind. This alarmed her as it was unexpected. To this day, it is still the case.
Spanking, choking, breath play, strap down, and toys became about the scene. kitten would even come specially dressed for the occasion in corsets and on one occasion a trench coat. These were all so appealing to me, pleased me and excited me so much.
At times, we both had others in our lives. We managed to keep the D/s going. However, she had a strong connection with one other, yes even in a D/s way. Selfishly I always wanted kitten to be my sub and not shared even though it was 2 different kinds of D/s. Mine was impact play based. Despite the chemistry and pleasure kitten and Sir had, I made the choice on Dec 31, 2022, despite the words of my friends that I was making a mistake, to try a relationship with an ex one more time. I left kitten behind and caused her tremendous pain and I broke her trust. A couple of months would go by and we would be back in our lives again and then off again. After I chose to break up the relationship with the ex the final time, I contacted kitten and discovered how bad kitten was hurt as the trust was broken and has not been able to be repaired. From time to time, kitten will come back to Sir, but the trust remains broken and kitten stays protected and at a distance. kitten very much still keeps her Sir in mind when she orgasms as she admits. I miss the D/s with her tremendously.