So, being submissive means something different to everyone.

EmberAshdown​(switch female){Collared} • May 30, 2017

I really love reading through these responses, it's awesome to see what it means to others to submit.
For me, submission is letting go. It's forgetting that I have a life in the vanilla world, and it's forgetting that I'm stressed. It's a sign that I have placed full, unwavering trust in my Dom, and it's a silent plea to make me forget everything bad that may be going on in my life. When I submit, I give myself over physically, mentally and emotionally, and it allows me to relax, stop thinking and not be responsible for a while. I find a new place in my head to hide away in for a while, and I can truly be myself and be unafraid to show every part of me.

Swell Daddy​(dom male){WholesomeW} • Jun 1, 2017

As a Dom I've witnessed subs revel in the release they've experienced when they're finally able to acknowledge they're most base desires. Desires repressed (because what would it say about them if they wanted to do THAT?) suddenly rise to the surface. Giving up their control, and losing their ability to choose, allows them to partake without shouldering the guilt they would normally experience. Over time however, the taboo often becomes 'normalised' and those things once unthinkable can become something much desired.

"Can I please rim your arse while I toggle my clit, please Daddy?"

"Hmmm. Maybe just this once little one. You have been very good for me lately."

"Yipee, thank you so so much Daddy!"


Of course I could be kidding myself... maybe my subs aren't self actualised filthy little sluts? Maybe they just want to please me?

What do the subs here think about this?

Moonstone • Jun 12, 2017

What a great Idea, Ann - thank you! Has this group started yet? May I join, please? Many thanks.

Lechelle​(sub female){No} • Jul 12, 2017

I am Sub because I love the thought of a men dominating me. I love the thought of giving up the power and not to have to worry about anything for once.
Would love to participate in Sub Chat. Can someone please tell me when it is?

nevaeh​(sub female){No} • Aug 15, 2017

I'm having a hard time trying to understand who's real and who's not. I have had anywhere from a dom who wanted a punching bag to dons who don't have a clue what they are doing but think because they saw a movie they know what to do.! I have a couple with good hearts and always ready to answer what some may think silly questions because I don't understand terms and all even yet. I don't want a weak dom. I don't want a dom with a grudge to settle. I want one who knows how to give a punishment I understand how to do if I disobey but also knows how to make me feel like the gift I truly am as a willing and eager sub. Peace to all.

DMAngel​(sub female) • Aug 21, 2017

Unfortunately, There a lot of wanna be's. Trolls as they are referred to. The only thing you can do is be very patient, vet every Dom, come up with questions you can ask in your experience of what a real Dom is, Yrs of experience, Training, Expertise.... use the technical terminology re: Shibari instead of rope play..... most of those with real training will know.
Time is your best friend, do not be in a hurry, then after getting to know each other for at least several weeks on line chatting, texting.. then a meet n greet in a public place for coffee. Do not think to leave with them even then. If you belong to a group have another meeting with your group in attendance, have the Group help you Vet them.
I knew a Dom for 6 months, finally met, then met again with Friends from my group, things went decidedly wrong later that night when his true self came out. It is always the first responsibility for a sub to be safe!
Never go out to meet a Dom the first time WITHOUT someone knowing where you are going and who you are with. Set a time to call your friend to assure them you are ok and then call again when you go home.

You will find someone who will be worth the wait. They will be patient. They will want your trust and safety as much as you should. You don't want to miss your chance cause you are with the wrong person.

Shaynna​(dom female){SxH} • Mar 12, 2019

For me it's the illusion of giving up the control while in truth all I have to do is use my safe word to stop

Amaris Ancilla​(sub female) • Mar 12, 2019

This is 8pm Pacific Time correct?

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Mar 13, 2019

hmmm. of course i agree with the above as an element of the draw, but it is not the whole picture. However, the example you used isn’t, for me an example of what i would consider once unthinkable normalized. your example sounds like a sweet sub asking to make her Dom feel good as he does for her. what you refer to is something that comes with the unfortunate societal prudishness that stifles our more natural base desires. YAY that this lifestyle is a way out of that bind.

SoaringFree​(sub female) • Mar 13, 2019

For me, being a sub is about stepping back and focusing on the needs of my Dom. My ultimate feel good is knowing I'm making him happy. The butterflies when we talk, the love that fills my heart. Knowing that in return, he makes me his priority. So really, it's an endless circle of putting each other's needs before our own. Both of us taking the time to learn what those needs are. In my experience, I think D/s, M/s relationships go far deeper than vanilla. We are more in tune with each other on multiple levels. There is nothing I love more than belonging to my Sir.