Getting a Collar (Necklace?)

SchrodingersDinosaur(switch female){N/a}

5 years ago • Feb 13, 2019

I unapologetically glom on to Sakana's post and agree with much of the previous posts. A physical collar can be a binding component of a relationship, our kink equivalent or perhaps even surpassing the seriousness of the wedding ring, or it can be purely a fashion statement, and anywhere in between. For Henna, most of my chokers and collars are somewhere in the middle. I do frequently buy them for myself, because I like the way they look and feel, but in my mind they signify something also. They connect me to my kink. They serve to remind me of who, and what, I am underneath all of the armor I put on for the nilla world. I have a number of less conspicuous pieces and nearly always am wearing one, even to work. Some are meaningful because they make me think of a particular person, but most are for me. I understand some subs collar themselves, but that doesn't quite feel like what I'm doing. Rather it feels like I'm claiming my kink, always. Whether I'm in a poly, mono, or no current relationship with other(s) I'm still kinky, I'm still both Domme and sub, I'm still Henna. And I like that.

MasterBear(other butch)	MasterBear(other butch) 5 years ago • Feb 14, 2019 5 years ago • Feb 14, 2019 MasterBear(other butch) • Feb 14, 2019 Think of a collar like a wedding ring. Some people exchange rings at the courthouse over their lunch hour then go back to work. Others have extravagant ceremonies.

AKittenforSir(sub female){JohnBond}

5 years ago • Feb 15, 2019

There is no simple answer to this. A BDSM lifestyle entails whatever you want it to entail. Every person on this site would describe their BDSM lifestyle differently than the next person. Whichever lifestyle you create for yourselves will define what a collar means to you.

Many describe a collar as the equivalent of a wedding ring, but just like a ring, the emphasis you put on it is up to you. I know couples who refuse to remove their rings even when they shower because the wearing of the ring is sacred to them and is a reflection of their commitment, while I also have close couple friends that hardly ever wear their rings and yet their relationship is beautiful and one that most people would envy.

It sounds like your husband’s interpretation of a collar is different than your own. Discuss it with him at length and see if you can come to a joint agreement of what a collar would symbolize to each other should you wear one.

witty bratty sub(sub female)

5 years ago • Feb 15, 2019

I would love to be given a collar.....I am new to being a sub and also new to being owned.....when I first started my journey, which wasn't very long ago, about half a year i didn't find collars to be something i was interested in and found them to be rather, well demeaning, but that was only because i didnt understand a fraction of what i understand today, thanks to my Dom who is skillfully, kindly, and patiently training me. I remember when we had first met and were getting to know one another he described getting one made for a former sub of his, I could tell it was something significant for him but found it odd, at the time, again because my knowledge was limited. I know am very devoted to him and find myself hoping he wants to collar me and find myself wishing i had his collar to wear. To me it really does hold some significant symbolism and meaning.

dina2019

5 years ago • Mar 1, 2019

Re: Getting a Collar (Necklace?)

5 years ago • Mar 1, 2019

MrsDocSyndrome wrote:

So a few months back I got it in my head that I wanted to get a collar. That turned into wanting to get a chain necklace with a padlock seeing as a genuine collar may not be accepted in the workplace. My husband and I talked about it lightly until he told me that to him, things like that are an entire lifestyle, so if we were to get me a collar, we would enter into a complete dom/sub lifestyle.

I guess my question is what does that entail? What exactly is a BDSM lifestyle?

I don't feel it is a complete lifestyle It can be what you want it to be. such as a complete submissiveness. No arguing he is in charge. a wedding ring means a partnishment. A collar means you kneel. he is incharge. If he wishes you to kneel you do. He is incontrol of finances, the house recreation and even your career. not t be entered lightly. do you want your husband to pick out your clothes? your food? you clean on your knees and he drinks beer? I hope you make the choice that will give you happiness.