A question for the Doms

SubSlaveRose{Owned} • Feb 27, 2019

Pehaps that has been the biggest confusion. The reasons didn’t make sense. As “its complicated” has been the go to response when he began pulling away, so I am left to wonder.
I’m not interested in another Dom. Giving so much of myself to another person isn't something I can physically and mentally do, nor do I want to. I can’t do the hope and promises and trust. Its all quite raw, so its best left. I will take time on my own and grow differently.
Thank you all once again for your carefully considered advice and words. Its brought forward what I already knew but didn't want to face. While it hurts, better a painful truth than a kind lie.

Corpsdom​(dom male) • Feb 27, 2019

I agree with all that has been said. When there is a noticeable drop in communication, every type of relationship is in jeopardy. Sometimes we don't see it until it hits us between the eyes.

From everything I've read, it does appear as if the relationship is coming to an end. Hang in there, rely on your friends, then when you are ready, move forward.

The Japanese have a saying: "If you get knocked down 7 times, get up 8 times". And you will. Good luck.

SubSlaveRose{Owned} • Feb 27, 2019

Thank you. For the time being I have to work on decondition myself and begin cutting threads. Its not a process I ever expected to be going through, but it is what it is and I don’t have much of a choice if I want to come out the other side of this.
Again, thank you all for your incite and kindness. Also for answering all of my questions.

Titocrj​(dom male) • Feb 28, 2019

I agree with many! Communication was broken and there is something more happening with this individual.

HeadmasterX • Feb 28, 2019

I am in full agreement with other Dom mentioning: He is gone, but doesn't have the balls or honesty to let you know.
Move on, and find someone worthy .

Good Luck

SubSlaveRose{Owned} • Feb 28, 2019

We haven’t spoken in two days. I agree with you. It hurts, but being aware and seeing it for what it is has helped. The genuine solid heartbreak hasn’t completely hit me. The habits of waiting and hoping, then the realisation it is entirely over and theres nothing left to look or wait for anymore.
He’s gone and accepting it is all I can do apart from learn from it. I’m done with this life. I considered it last night and I can see a pattern with the Ds I’ve had and that this has happened once before, ages ago. Gone, but without wanting to actually be gone? I choose unsustainable Ds. Until I can trust myself to make better choices and see the patterns, I will avoid the choices that put me in this place. Again.
To all of you practising Doms, I genuinelly hope you never put your subs through this. Be upfront. Tell them its over. Be clear you're not coming back. Their healing and yours can start sooner if you do.
The best to all of you and blessings on your journeys. And thank you all for your kindness once again.

Re: A question for the Doms

just james​(dom male) • Mar 1, 2019

Find a Dom for real life not online. Stop living in the past. Live for the future.

LordofPain56 • Mar 1, 2019

Ha! I have always told (the few) subs I've had from the beginning....all ya gotta do to stay around here is be able to 1) take the sting of my whips, 2) follow the rules, and 3) accept the provisions I am sharing with you (without wanting more or better provisions). If ya can do that, I am yours for life, baby!
None had a problem with the first two. I guess greener pastures isn't necessarily only a guy thing, then is it?

MasterRenton​(dom male) • Apr 8, 2019

Just like with all types of relationships things change and outside factors can change how we feel and act. Normally with a strong bond the communication can work people past those disconnects. There are cases when that communication breaks down and the dynamic tends to become less and less important to one or all parties. This is not abnormal but also has a breaking point - a point of no return. Not knowing your situation it would be irresponsible of me to guess with the info given if you have hit that point.

My suggestions is to make a list of needs versus wants, then take that list and respectfully discuss those with your Dom. Get their input, respect it and work to build bridges. It is some work but after all of it is important - work is expected. If that yields no results and your needs (not wants) are still not met, it might be a good idea to have the life after discussion.

Hope this was useful

Gliderseat • Apr 8, 2019

As a Dominant l find it reprehensible that he does not show you the respect you deserve. It’s important regardless of circumstances that you (sub) know the reasons behind the changes and if there is anything you can do to make it better. Not knowing or having that conversation is abuse and you as the submissive must do all within the guidelines of your dynamic to receive it. Open communication along with honesty and truthfulness is the foundation D/s is built on. If he continues to skirt over your request l guess you have your answer. Good luck.