Dominus Blakesley(dom male){Amaris Anc}
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6 years ago •
Mar 15, 2019
6 years ago •
Mar 15, 2019
For me, I especially be mindful when requesting/demanding my submissive to carry out a task for me. I *always* say please, not only because it goes well along with my "No need to raise your voice to get across your message/Gentleman's tone only" principle, but it also reminds my submissive that despite I am Master and she is mine, that does *not* mean I am superior to her as a human being. It reminds her that although I guide , she propels. Although I harness the power, she *gives me the power in the first place* as BDSM relationships really do revolve around what your submissive is willing or not willing to do, for if there is no submissive, what can a Dominant do? And vice versa as they are necessary for each other. But the submissives hold the key for the Dominants to be, well, Dominant. Saying please lets them know you are not power hungry, that you are not just throwing your weight around as a Dominant just because the BDSM says that Dominants order around submissives. You *guide* and help them *grow* into their own person as they strive to achieve what they wish for in life, just as they give you the power to do the same.
The other part to saying please all the time is it gives a bit of a signal. Imagine, all your relationship, you are known to your lover as always saying please and thank you. Now, one day, your submissive decides to act out really badly or they decide to test you. *Not* saying please the next time? They *will* notice that and psychology plays into it as they figure out, "Well, I screwed up, huh?/Oh, I am going to get it./My Dominant is not pleased with me." It lets them know you are serious and that you are not about to let them walk all over you (then there are brats/littles but they are another matter entirely) just because you have been courteous and showing consideration.
Saying please and thank you does not lessen the impact as you fear, but it can definitely intensify said impact.
Saying please and thank you is never a detriment on your image as a Dominant despite how the inner instinct to "Dom-mand" your submissive to perform a task or whatever it makes you feel as if you should recoil at the words. You are only reinforcing yourself as the authority, the figure being looked up to, the guide and teacher, and also, the lover.
Of course, it can depend on your submissive to, as to whether or not they are into you demanding them around or finding peace and all with you politely requesting them. But this one is easiest to figure out, just test it, heh.
Hopefully, this helps you in regards to courtesy and all. I wish you well and hopefully, you can sort out which sort of route you will go for and that it works out well for both you and your submissive.
Edit: A good middle ground is to simply ask them (with a polite tone) to go about their tasks. "Can you (so and so), May I (so and so)." It lacks please and thank, if you want it to, but it is still polite and achieves the same affect of you actually considering their stance.
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