punishments to deal with playful Sub

AKittenforSir​(sub female){JohnBond} • Apr 13, 2019

The answers to this are endless. As a sub who’s sometimes little but always submissive and always a masochist, the spectrum for what would be a good punishment for me is very broad.

Assuming your sub isn’t little 24/7, one thing to consider is you may want separate punishments for your “submissive” vs punishments for your “little”. Meaning if your sub breaks X rule; the punishment is a paddeling, but if she’s in little space and breaks X rule the punishment is her favorite stuffie has to sleep on the shelf instead of in bed with her. Different punishments affect us differently when we’re little than they would normally.

Little space punishment ideas:
Favorite stuffies on a high shelf where they can be seen but not played with for X period of time (would be the worst for me ever! My stuffie is my best friend!),
No sweets,
Hot sauce on tongue,
A tablespoon of vinegar,
No cartoons,
No coloring,
Write an apology sentence X number of times,
Write an essay about why her behavior was inappropriate,
Read a chapter or two of a very long and very boring book,
Timeout (in a corner or a designated seat)

Canadian​(dom male) • Jul 8, 2019

I’ve always found that a good punishment either in person or through communication is not talking or responding.

One thing to push buttons but want a punishment, ok, will chat with you in a couple days.

Justme26 • Jul 8, 2019

Please regard anything I say as purely theoretical. i have no experience of this. I think what some people are responding to is these questions: Are you sure you want to break a brat of brattiness? Do they want it? Have you considered what will be left once you have taken away the brattiness?

My understanding of braking a sub is that it is a rather boring process of finding there favourite things and then taking them away until they start to behave. Spanking, for example, is not a punishment to someone who likes it. The punishment is to take the spanking away. You might go as far as to tie there wrists so that they can not masterbate.

If you are looking for, what I think is called, a funishment then I don't know, I would think that anything would be equally effective. Sorry about the spelling.

AKittenforSir​(sub female){JohnBond} • Jul 8, 2019

I strongly disagree with this. I believe this to be a completely inappropriate punishment in any D/s M/s or DDlg relationship, or frankly even in a vanilla relationship.

Pumpkin29​(sub female){MrWhite} • Jul 8, 2019

I agree. This type of punishment would irreparably damage any dynamic I found myself in. Silence from someone I've placed that kind of love and trust in, no matter what I'd done to "deserve it," would make every cruel voice in my head scream until I broke.
It reminds me of the children's rhyme:

Sticks and stones can break ones bones when aimed with angry art
Words can sting like anything, but silence breaks the heart.

Bunnie • Jul 8, 2019

Silence is a very, very effective punishment for me.
However, ignoring is where it becomes damaging. If the guidelines around being punished using silence have been established through discussion, I personally have found it to be quite effective. It certainly makes me keep my ass in gear.

That is why I have not made it a limit for me. Yes, it scares me, however it is the one tool that I know my Master would have to allow me to know that something I have done is very wrong, and I don’t want to take that from him.

I understand this is a very uncommon way of thinking, and yes, it most certainly isn’t everyone’s cup of tea... however assuming that everyone has this as a limit is just as bad as assuming that everyone is ok with it. Some of us require punishment more harsh than a slap on the wrists... and some of us even like it

as I always like to point out... not only is everyone different... I wouldn’t be with someone I didn’t trust wholeheartedly or believed would abuse such a thing.

Pumpkin29​(sub female){MrWhite} • Jul 8, 2019

@Bunnie, thanks for giving a view from a different perspective.

You're right. If a sub can handle it, and it's discussed and agreed upon in a healthy way, whatever floats your proverbial boat 😊.

I would imagine it would take a pretty solid foundation to pull this off. For you, during the discussions,
how would you handle lengths of time that you felt were too much for you? Or if, for some reason, you felt you couldn't tolerate it at a specific moment in time?

I apologise if these questions are intrusive, it's just so different from what I could handle at this point that I'm curious to see it from your perspective.

Bunnie • Jul 8, 2019

@ Pumpkin,

I’m happy to try to share my perspective (“try” being the operative word lol).

“how would you handle lengths of time that you felt were too much for you? Or if, for some reason, you felt you couldn't tolerate it at a specific moment in time?”

So for starters as with anything, a lot of these things would’ve been discussed very early in the “getting to know each other phase” for me... as these are things I consider to kind of be foundational... especially in M/s.

Communication, as cliché as it is, is all it’s about. We would discuss the timeframe... start to finish (and for me, being the way I am... that would be down to the second lol), what will occur before and after etc etc... all the details, including anything I may be required to do in that time (maybe write or read or stare at the wall 👀). Over time, as trust increases more and more, it would be unlikely that this process would need to be as thorough, however, maybe some days it will.

Remember, this is for serious punishment... I would hope I wouldn’t require it often lol.

If I felt it was too much, I would share that. It would be discussed. Perhaps my fears are a bit more active that day. Maybe I need some reassurance. Maybe I need to know he isn’t doing it to simply hurt me. Maybe it just simply would be too much.

These things aren’t beyond discussion. They’re also not open for negotiation lol. His word is final for me. However, having said that... a wise Master isn’t going to break his girl.

Pumpkin29​(sub female){MrWhite} • Jul 9, 2019

@Bunnie, thank you so much! I really loved your reply.

When I think of lack of interaction as a punishment, I don't think I've ever envisioned something so structured. I suppose I think more of "the silent treatment."

What I got from your reply is lack of interaction does not equate with lack of communication. That's something I hadn't considered. Thank you for giving me a new perspective on it.

Although for me, it DEFINITELY would never work because I'm a chronic clock watcher and my Sir is habitually late. Arrrg.

Angel Wings​(sub female) • Jul 9, 2019

Yikes!! Abandonement as punishement? So wrong in many ways, but that's my opinion of course.

Be more creative.