Just cureas.

SchrodingersDinosaur​(switch female) • Oct 21, 2019

@dollMaker, great suggestion about the doing a little research to gain a better understanding of that which we do. Talking about it here in Forum, asking questions, getting real time experience info from those of us...ahem...more seasoned folks is a great addendum though. Another benefit of talking about it here is that for every question Justme has, someone else has wondered the same, I'm sure if it. And they may not be brave enough to openly ask, especially if they perceive there's any culture of 'thats a stupid question, dumb noobs'. (NOT insulting anyone who was good enough to respond to this thread, but sadly we have seen it recently.)

I do stand by what I said earlier though, your preference not to engage on a casual level is absolutely your perogative, but the beauty here is that there are all levels of engagement, and that's okay. There really are people that wish to semi anonymous play. There's no need to put a restriction on it, a serious 'you must know all the secrets before engaging'. We do this kinda thing all the time in dungeons and play parties. It's pickup play, not life altering relationships and deep meaningful power exchange. Sometimes it turns into a real relationship, but doesn't have to. As long as the people playing are cognizant of the basics and understand/ respect consent I don't see any problem with playing with casual tasks if that's what both parties enjoy.

I'm intending to do a short description of some of the play tasks I could think of and answer here and then maybe expound a little in a blog of my own a little later today...(nilla responsibilities to attend to first!) if anyone's interested...

Much respect,
- Henna

dollMaker​(dom male) • Oct 21, 2019

Thats not what I said, even casual requires knowing basics, medical issues, limits, turn ons, turn offs, that is what I meant re gaining knowledge of the other party, (not all their secrets, vanilla life details etc.) Those are the things needed for casual to be safe for both parties. If its virtual rp with no physical world activity, then sure do what you like, but be aware than even online play, with no physical aspect can still cause emotional issues, damage if triggers and limits are crossed. Playing in total ignorance of the other parties, from both top, dom, bottom, sub sides can be problematic as you just dont know what you are getting, or getting into, but if some folks like flying by the seat of their pants have at it, but dont be surprised when issues arrive

Re: Just cureas.

TheLittlePrincess​(sub female){SSG} • Oct 21, 2019

Me and my Domme are long distance and after some discussion She gave me simple tasks. She made sure that I was okay with it before it was actually assigned since we were first starting out.
The first ones were to tell Her good morning and goodnight and call Her Miss. Then She talked to me about having control of my orgasms. I agreed. She also suggested having a journal. It wasn't a requirement, but recently I have had a few tasks where I was told to write in it.
After a while my first "big task" (at least that's how I saw it at the time) was I had to go without panties for a day. This was all done with Her constantly checking on me and making sure I was comfortable and calm. She really took the time to make sure I was okay with what was going on.

SchrodingersDinosaur​(switch female) • Oct 21, 2019

Okie dokie, back to poor Justme's original question before we highjacked it with all the serious vs casual convo! (also a worthy discussion, imho)

Tasks for a brand new hookup…

Most important thing to remember is to keep it light, whether you both are just kind of having fun and casually goofing around or if you have hopes of building a relationship, the initial interactions can both be fun and build your knowledge of each other.

Some ideas…

Direct them to fill out their profile if you met here at Cage. (Yep, it's a task!) Particularly really new ones don't really understand the importance of it. Doing so will force them to think about the segments, and you can learn a bit more about them.

Ask them to describe a particular experience to you, of their choosing. What they liked, didn't like, etc. You aren't pressing for finite details rather you are teaching them to think about what they like and to use their voice. Many people can't automatically do that. And by allowing them to choose you although them to set the tone, either sexy or more demure. Cue off that.

Taking photos (no...put away the flame thrower, hear me out…) obviously it's not going to be for everyone, and we always caution about the Dom/mes that come in all heavy demanding nudes… but you can do all sorts of things with photos. Make it light and fun. (*And in my opinion you should always give them an out with any task in the getting to know each other phase. You haven't earned the right yet to say 'you shall do THIS or else'. Even for those Dom/mes into that sort of Domination, it's not an immediate nor godgiven right, that has to grow. Especially with a newbie)

But you can stuff request stuff like:

'I want you to take a picture of something around you that makes you think about kinky stuff that a normal vanilla person wouldn't notice.' All sorts of ideas here… bananas, a belt, candles.

'Please take a picture of your elbow for me!' yes, it's goofy, but it's a fun way to assert Dominance without being sexually aggressive.

Have them take sexy pictures of themselves, but only for their eyes. Yes, I hear the massive groans but many, maybe most of us, are not comfortable in our skin. Taking pictures that they know aren't to be shared can really help them embrace their own sexuality without feeling like they are being bumrushed.

Direct them to do something just for themselves, nonsexual. Pretty much all of us spend so much time focusing on the must do's and priorities. It may well take a Dominant ordering it to make them put themselves first for a change. Doesn't have to be extravagant, but a task can be 'I want you to do one thing today that's special or extra for yourself, even if it's stopping to get a gourmet coffee or buying a new lipstick or making time to take a nap rather than doing that load of ironing'.

If there is definitely a sexy vibe there, you might ask them to either cum for you, or deny themselves (eww, Henna thinks that horrible but *trying* to be open-minded). It's not a 'we are playing together' thing, it's a personal task for them alone. If the person isn't a terribly sexual being, e.i. not a masturbator or just to inexperienced at self love, you can always offer a less intense task. 'While you are at work today I'd like you to reach down and touch yourself three times without anyone seeing you do so'.

There's a start with some ideas, hopefully others will contribute…

*Post Script...I'm going to try to do a blog myself later today because dM brought up a good point with the necessity to avoid triggering anyone or overstepping. I have a little experience there I can share...I know I know, I hear the chorus of 'well of course she does and also feels the need to regurgitate it in our laps, greeeaaatttt….

Justme26 • Oct 21, 2019

SD: Thanks thats very helpful, Little Princess: Thanks.