Willingness to post profile pictures

Luckyy​(dom female) • Feb 19, 2020

Sorry to hear you're struggling with this 😔
Honestly, I can't say I've ever felt similarly, but I can understand your perspective.
Personally, I don't think continuing to hide yourself (unless that's something you're into, of course) will do you (or anyone, really) any good. Part of learning to be more confident in yourself, or even learning not to care so much about the chance that you may be perceived negatively, is putting yourself out there and trying.

The thought of doing something that makes you scared or uncomfortable is almost always worse than the reality.

And please keep in mind that attractiveness is entirely subjective. There will always be people who aren't going to be attracted to you, but that's just life. And for each person that isn't into your appearance, there are probably just as many people who are into you.

Plus, you should think about the reasons why you WANT to post photos. You have an interest in it, clearly, so it's important to remind yourself why if you're feeling self-conscious. It's different for everyone, so it doesn't matter what your reasoning is, just that you want to do it.

And can I just say that I'm all in favour of posting photos, regardless of the reason, because not only are they a good indication of you as a person (not just of your looks, but also your interests and kinks), they can also be FUCKING HOT, which is always great for attracting people to you (if that's your goal).

And lastly, please remember that putting yourself out there makes you a lot more approachable. If you take the first step in showing people more about yourself, they're likely to do the same or feel easier in reaching out to you. Helps you seem more like a real person rather than just an internet profile, ya know?

Erick​(sub male) • Feb 19, 2020

We are now living in an age where norms of privacy are being irrevocably annihilated at a terrifying rate. There was a news story within just the past couple of weeks about how governments and police agencies and private investigators are now developing the power to use AI to instantly assemble a dossier containing every single image of a person that has ever appeared anywhere on the internet. Presumably it won't be long before any ordinary person can do this too.

And you don't have to have an interest in kinky sex to be embarrassed by on-line pictures of yourself coming to the attention of the wrong people. In the little town where I live, some youngsters recently discovered that one of our most respected elder citizens--a very conservative and religious man--had posted a picture of himself on a dating website that showed him naked except for a guitar hanging around his neck. The ad also contained some naughty references to his "devilish" skill in giving pleasure to ladies who were looking for a hot time.

There wasn't anything illegal or immoral about his ad, but the poor man was mortified when the cruel teenagers created a blow-up of the thing and tacked it to the town bulletin board. He wouldn't come out of his house for several days, until someone finally had the decency to tear the picture down. And he hasn't been the same since. People can be very cruel.

I myself tried to put an ad on a dating website a few years ago in which I submitted a portrait of myself drawn by a professional artist, which it seemed to me was the ideal solution to the problem since it would let people know approximately what I looked like without the AI computers being able to recognize me. But the crap-headed dating site, which I won't name, refused to run the ad.

So SCREW THEM.

I have little patience with people who take a cavalier attitude toward the dangers of unwanted publicity in the era of BIG DATA. It's one of my pet peeves.

So I say: Go ahead and use the mask. You can always show individual respondents what you look like later on when you get to know them better.

Justme26 • Feb 19, 2020

@Erick: As I said before, do whatever is right for you, however; Why would that be a peeve as apposed to being nun of your business.

Low{BLK OWND} • Feb 19, 2020

Just wanted to say that if a person you know or work with tries to out you by mentioning to someone they saw you on this site they are actually outing themselves as well ! They had to be on here to see you
But at this point in life I don't worry about it very much and as for myself all my pics are real

dollMaker​(dom male) • Feb 19, 2020

If your profile is open, and not members only then they could see your avatar, if its a picture of you on a random word association or you have used it elsewhere, facebook or the like. Google has access to here and random name association can bring an image up. So while an outing that way is slim, its not impossible. If everything is locked down then yes they would need to be here to see more. My advice though is don’t ever use an image of you for your avatar and dont use a photo you have used elsewhere, particularly facebook (but anywhere is risky) that is tied to you. Any photos you do use should be stripped of meta data and images taken by a phone are also risky.

Also using the audio feature on the profile, best avoided as well, as vocies are as good as a face picture re identification.

Mindmelter​(dom male) • Feb 19, 2020

I had no idea my post would generate so much discussion. I thank everyone here for their input, as you have taught me a lot in such a short timespan.

Devil's damsel​(sub female){HandsomeDe} • Feb 20, 2020

Most of the pros and cons anyone could have for posting or not posting a picture have been covered.

My two cents is to do what feels right for you. If you’re concerned that showing your face may possibly affect your personal life outside of this site than definitely give it some serious thought.

But in my opinion, if you’re not willing to post a picture because you are not comfortable with yourself, you should probably take a step back from here and work on that. A Dominant needs to have a measure of confidence in himself to be able to give a sub what she/he/they needs. Being realistic is a different thing than being self conscious.

Realistically, each and every one of us should know that our looks, shape, size, etc., won’t be for everyone. But be confident in who you are as a person. I have known many people who I was physically attracted to but once I got to know them as a person and saw how unattractive they were on the inside, their good looks faded and they became ugly for me even to look at. And vice versa. There honestly is someone out there for everyone.

I used to have face pictures on my profile but when I submitted to my Dom, He asked me to take them down. He said nobody here needs to know what I looked like except Him. And He was right, I’m off the market and the only opinion that matters to me is His. That is mine and His choice not to put our faces up.

Basically what I’m saying is that it’s a very personal decision that only you can make. Take your time, think about it, and do it....or don’t.