Sissyboislave(switch femme){not at thi}
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5 years ago •
Dec 21, 2019
I don't know where my desire to submit to men and women arose from.As a young child, I would act out intentionally to receive a spanking from a female authority figure.that was even before I was aware of anything sexual. To be truthful, I was abused by a stranger when I was 10;but I kind of enjoyed it.Through out myteen years, I continued to be sexually attracted to Dominant women; but I started to also begin to include men into the mix. I acted on y feelings for women; but it was not until I was 21 that I allowed myself to be used by a man.after that I ignored that part of my personality until much later, when I finally acknowledged who I really am.I love pleasing people; and I love those people being able to control me. ii find that In my heart I am gender fluid.I never consider myself "less than". I just am who I am.,
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Online now
Miki(masochist female)
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5 years ago •
Dec 21, 2019
There she goes a-steppin' outta that Admin role again!!!! (hee hee)
Good post though. As "not a real sub just a masochist" I cannot otherwise comment on this other than what others have said. In my role as a "maso-girl" I get asked why I like pain with the pleasure.. I just do. Call it kinky wiring or whatever. But I don't see it as a gender thing, either. Villanelle wrote: Oh my - what a subject! Why does a man want to submit? The same reason women want to submit. They enjoy it. It has nothing to do with masculinity or femininity. Some men enjoy ravishing and dominating women. Some men enjoy submitting to, serving, and adoring women, often in a knightly, romantic way. It doesn't make them less masculine than a man who enjoys domination. In fact, it may be a much more traditional way to relate to women. So..
Dominant is not the male position. Submissive is not the female position. Even if that's what you more commonly see represented in popular culture. I'm dominant. I'm female. I am feminine. I am not less feminine because I am dominant, which would be true if we followed the logic of submission making a man less masculine. Just as one shouldn't believe female submissives are weak, stupid women, one shouldn't believe male submissives are weak and stupid either. One of my submissives was a big burly boxer. Another was a young, tall, super fit, rowdy guy who took the lead in every other aspect of his life. I could go on. They just enjoyed serving me but that didn't mean they bowed down to anyone else. Thanks for the question! It's a great topic and I appreciate the sincere curiousity! |
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Twisted_Secrets(dom female)
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4 years ago •
Apr 3, 2020
Of course everyone will take it exactly how you are wording it. You can't phantom another male being different simply because they are male. I mean I would think identifying as submissive is not gender specific. Same goes for being a Dominant. Gosh .. I hope because I'm female I wasn't suppose to be labeled submissive.
Labels are not all defining in any event, their purpose is to be used as sorta a buffer in identifying a bit of a person. Hell I sure hope we are more then a simple 1 word label. BUT all I have to say is thank heaven for male subs!! |
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hellohandsome(sub male){At times }
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4 years ago •
Apr 3, 2020
Response to: why male sub?
It’s a good question. I refer to myself as a male sub. I’ll try to answer given I am new to bdsm with no physical experience with a mistress/goddess . I have been under the spell mentally for a month or so but that’s a different story.
First of all -I love women Second - if you think your actually in charge ;we’ll your not Third - I believe it’s important to re- understand what it means to be manly. To release yourself from being programmed a certain way and be vulnerable ( peeling back the onion ) Fourth - I think it’s a control issue for you and for me I’ve been in “control “my entire adult life- but as the Christian man you say you are you know that you are not really in control of anything. Fifth and finally - we all here are working things out and playing our fantasy or roles, some ,more than others ,because of the inherent differences of collective experiences That’s all for now P.s. I’m as manly as you |
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Tylermc(sub male)
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4 years ago •
Apr 4, 2020
I am very much in control and in charge of every aspect of my life. Whether it be work or personal. I am an extremely confident individual whenever confronted by any person or circumstance. Most people follow my lead in day to day operation. But in the bedroom, I enjoy following my partners lead and submitting to them. It allows me to be off my guard or mellow down per say. As a submissive I get a lot of pleasure from the anticipation of what I am going to receive. Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy normal vanilla sex. But being on the sub side of BDSM sex let’s me relax and also brings me physical stimulations I cannot get the other way. My partner also gets the validation or sense of self pride when they are making the rules. Just my view point on the topic.
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GoreanMaster(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Apr 18, 2020
Your correct, myself? I like when when a Dominant woman makes it known from the onset that their in charge, even when courting. It should be black and white. As a slave I know my role, do you know yours??
Slave |
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No Body(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Apr 18, 2020
Everyone has a thing and this is theirs. The like some women just want to be dominated .
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tallslenderguy(other male)
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4 years ago •
Apr 18, 2020
i only have a few minutes to answer this before going to work, but i'll try and start.
Though i believe our sexuality is fluid, i think some aspects can be more constant. i can trace my sub nature back to childhood, as young as 7 or 8 (which is not to say it wasn't there before, but i can see it pretty clearly at that age). Looking back i can see how i attracted a lot of bullies and how i learned how to hide behind a non sub facade in order to survive. Had a double whammy because i am/was gay and sub, so hiding was a part of life. i have to go to work (damn), but i'll start off my response by saying that, much like being gay, being sub is not really a choice for me... it's an intrinsic part of who i am. i tried not being gay or sub from an early age, that didn't make it go away. Really, it just fucked things up not living with reality. i have peace now because i work to understand who i am and live my life as i am vs trying to conform to notions of what should be. It's a pretty awesome adventure. |
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rottenbrat(sub female){Skyrich}
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4 years ago •
Apr 18, 2020
I can't speak for men, because I'm not one.... But........
As a woman who has been in a position of responsibility for others most of my adult life, there is a distinct release or satisfaction that comes with not being held to that role 100% of the time. I dont see this as either a "male or female" stance, but more an acknowledgement from someone who knows that being under that constant pressure with no outlet can put you in an early grave. The first time I ever slipped into "sub space" was a simple act of putting my head on someone's shoulder allowing them put their arms around me, supporting me both physically and emotionally. Suddenly I was able to breathe again. |
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tallslenderguy(other male)
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4 years ago •
Apr 18, 2020
MR B wrote: thank you all again. this is a pretty deep topic i enjoy hearing from all of you. its really making me think about things more and even seeing why i myself am a dom. its not because i do not respect women or that i am power hungry but that this is who i am and what i need.
we all should not be ashamed of who we are. i appreciate that you ask and are inquiring. Ethnocentricity is something we all have, it’s natural to grow up thinking our cultural norms are THE norm. Some people never leave the confines of their culture and never realize there are all sorts of different cultures and sub cultures, ad infinitum, unless the look and listen outside their box. Or, some find that they are different from how they were taught by their culture and are faced with having to chose between who they are and how their culture taught them. In my experience, the latter doesn’t work, ie trying to conform to fit in. Learning to live with reality vs trying to hide or change it to fit in. What many find is, once they venture out and are open and honest about who they are, they start finding others like them... and hopefully, their compliment. |
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