taking pain

taking pain

CannaCouple{Yes} • Apr 29, 2020

I'm a new submissive wife here and don't really know what to say, but i did have a question on how to tolerate more pain. My husband really loves to punish me with the belt and to tie me up. I can take quite a bit of pain and find the pleasure in it, but there is just something about that belt that i can't get past... any advice?

HisLovelyCollaredPet​(sub female) • Apr 30, 2020

Perhaps you can ask him what it is about the belt that he enjoys...is it the sound, the feel of it in his hands, something else? Offer alternatives that may not pose such a challenge for you that still give him what he needs. I know that pushing our limits is incredibly important but it’s still supposed to be fun. If you find yourself truly dreading the belt, and you communicate that with him, hopefully he’ll be willing to explore something that suits you both.
Good luck!!

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Apr 30, 2020

i appreciate HisLovely's advice, i never had directed it that way. i have sub in me, but do not consider myself masochistic, so that usually gets dileneated in the 'vetting' process.

"Pain" is a complex topic for me, even still. Physical pain is not something i want or need, yet i find myself willing to endure it if my Guy has the look of need/desire in His eyes and wants to use His hand. Leaving His hand print on me somehow makes it worth while for me because it's like He is leaving a part of Himself and that collars something psychological in me.

So, HisLovely's advice about asking "what it is about the belt He enjoys" makes so much sense to me because the reverse works on me. I.e., my Top can find a way to spank me if He needs/wants by understanding how deeply He can collar me psychologically by using His hand. The psychological need/desire is often a two way thing and by asking you may discover a deeper psychological mutual 'bond' that feeds you both?

No Body​(dom male) • Apr 30, 2020

We all have that one thing that sets us of and for him it's the belt. Ask him about it. See if there is something else he will use that will make you both happy.

MartinD1969​(dom male) • Jun 10, 2020

For me it's the sound. The sound of the leather hitting the skin, the beautiful marks that it leaves with each sound. The slapping of the leather together.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Jun 10, 2020

I agree with all the above advise.
Talk to him about why the belt. For me its leather and to a smaller extend the smell of the leather when it warms on the skin, then the marks and sounds they(subs) make ..but ..most of all for me its the fact the submissive takes it for me "willingly". For me its more about the willingness to please me. If I knew/know that "pleasing me" is still obtainable, I would change implements to one that still fitted my needs but also the need of my submissive.

The other thing that might help is the approach used with the belt! You don't say if hubdom is more experienced? A longer warm up might help you take, what he needs to enjoy the scene. A warmer room will also help you process pain better. Position can be another issue. Also watch your breathing, for pain to be processed you need to breath evenly. If your holding your breath in anticipation, the pain will centralize instead of radiating. Deeper breathing is better, short and shallow will increase the pain. You'll also find if you focus on the breathing cycle, you might not focus on the strike cycle. Another thing if you both new is the weight of the strike, is it the same every time in the build up. If he is new to a belt and its use maybe more check in, is needed or a scale report from you (if you don't know what this is I can explain it more)

Keep in mind your not letting him down if you dislike the belt. Maybe the belt would be better used a punishment tool rather than a funishment tool. Even Masos have tools they dislike. Not all pain is created equal. Most Maso have a preference for stingy or thuddy, heavy or light applicator etc. You'll figure your triggers out with time. If you both new experiment with what rocks BOTH your worlds. Save the hated things for situations that suit what the toy provides. This way the "belt" doesn't go away, it just suits a propose that you BOTH agree on.

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • Jun 10, 2020

burn it

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Jun 10, 2020

"burn it "

LOL that should of come with a drinking while reading alert Dellydoodah LOL

MrCopolo​(dom male){Cheekypixi} • Jul 21, 2020

The main thing here is not every impliment suits everybody. My girl dosent like sting but loves thud .. talk to him about trying a differnt belt.
Wider heavier = thuddy.
Thinner lighter = stingy

And as he gains experience and learns how different angles and approaches change everything I'm sure he will get better at understanding what is actually going on.



You get the drift. As for taking more focus helps think of something as it starts and then focus and turning that memory into a good one. A colour eg black to green or such like. But most of all communicate everything afterwards talk about how it felt what you liked/disliked ask him what he liked/disliked.

Ps .. a belt is my thing too.. after my hands ..

Enjoy