The Struggles of a male submissive

The Struggles of a male submissive

Sinity​(dom female) • May 2, 2020

We dominant women are few. This is well known. It is a struggle for you guys to find someone to dominate you and I would like to give some pointers on how to up your game and seem more appealing than the 20 others that have messaged the Domme you are about to inbox. You need to stand out, look appealing, and grab that attention. I suggest the following:

1. Read their profile.
Not everyone on here is looking for a submissive. It is only going to put you on the block list or tossed into the trash if you message someone asking to be their slave if they aren't looking. You also need to be aware if your kinks line up.

2. Fill out your profile.
Add a picture, tell us about yourself and what you are looking for, give some limits-a "I have no limits" person is less likely to be taken seriously, be you not the fantasy submissive you want to wear the mask of. Genuine people are more attractive.

3. Do not beg.
When you message, remember that we get lots of annoying beggars every day. You want to serve? Begin doing that by starting a conversation. Ask us questions about ourselves, tell us about you, be polite and warm but don't assume we own you.

4. Accept that rejection doesn't mean you are not worthy.
You are a treasure. You just aren't everyone's treasure and that is ok. Don't stop looking for the perfect fit.

Does anyone else have any suggestions that would help those who struggle in their search?

Stranger • May 2, 2020

Don't give up... Keep learning and building yourself... We got this

Ms MaryJane • May 2, 2020

Get to know the person as a whole. Not just the kink side. I have to like my sub/slave as a person and actually want to spend time with my them.
But that is just me as well.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • May 2, 2020

Thank you for your post. Though i’m a gay guy with some sub in me, I think your points about having a profile and dileniating limits is universal. I will not approach or respond to a Dom who does not have a profile or who approaches me in one to three word sentences. Communication is foundational to relationship, and if either party lacks that skill or inclination, how can there be a relationship?
And a big ditto re those who say “no limits”

Stranger • May 2, 2020

Communication can be honed... be patient with ppl in general... too much ppl just want the exact fit right away without working with the other person to make that fit... Always remember... It takes two hands to clap

Sinity​(dom female) • May 2, 2020

While commination can be honed there needs to be more than just "I am very submissive, let me serve you. I want to serve you, I will send pictures."

This is just undesirable. It makes me feel like I am desired because I have boobs and they are horny.

I think you greatly overestimate the quality and underestimate the quantity of messages Dominant women receive.

Knightsundere​(sub male) • May 2, 2020

Kinda difficult to give advice on this seeing as I'm in the same boat, but I had a lot of dominant dudes on Grindr make this mistake in my DMs -

You're on a kink website. They're already aware that you're into sexual deviancy. There is absolutely 0 need to compound it/affirm it. Approach them like they're not even into kinky stuff and you'll have a better time, 100% of the time. Seeing people do this is really, really funny to me lol

Stranger • May 2, 2020

I disagree...i think every person has the potential to be great... Nothing should take that away.... Not your lazy ass feelings about how much shitty messages u get from ppl who arent great yet ... Yet being the key word here... Again... Try to be patient...

Stranger • May 2, 2020

U laugh at other ppl's downfall....wow ... you're so intelligent!

Sinity​(dom female) • May 2, 2020

Rude.

I don't care how they approach me because I am not seeking. My post here is to give them the tools to be great, so why assume I think they can't. It isn't lazy to want someone to talk to you like you aren't an interactive porn game. Check your attitude. This thread isn't to cut anyone down but to help them get away from constant rejection.