An interesting insight about dom/sub relationships?

Bunnie • Jul 12, 2020

It seems you could both do with some work on your communication skills.

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • Jul 12, 2020

Oh boy would I have made mincemeat out of her!
You became friends?
good grief

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Jul 12, 2020

Bullying, forceful, behavior never strikes me as dom, maybe dom wanna be? To me, it's immature and the last thing i want is to have any kind of D/s relationship with someone who is immature.

i stop shy of saying "that's not dom," because i guess there are subs out there who do like that? But to me it's about as far away from dom as one can get. For me, Dom is intelligent, insightful, knowledgable and has the confidence that comes with that. For me, a Dom shows Their power, not by force, but through understanding.

ArtfulDodger​(sub female){collared} • Jul 12, 2020

I don't care if you are a Dom, sub, or ordinary vanilla person, that level of rudeness is absolutely inappropriate and totally unappealing. She obviously knows nothing about the concept of (1) customer service and (2) common courtesy. I would have cancelled the order.

phonybologna​(sub female){Collared} • Jul 14, 2020

To me that’s ridiculous. Not only should she never assume (my son has bought me plenty of toys and they could be bought by either person), but the assertiveness of her tone establishes a perceived dominance that she has over you which is ridiculous. Power exchange in BDSM is all about trust and the fact that a stranger just decides to speak to you like that honestly surprises me. In addition, some of us subs are only subs in the bedroom. If you were to ask anyone who knew me at least semi-well, people would think I’m the dom. I DONT enjoy being talked down to by anyone other than my dom and him only because I trust him with my life.

TheChimera​(sub female) • Jul 14, 2020

This.

As a small business owner, your "tone" with ANY customer be them Dom, sub, Switch, Top, bottom, middle, horizontal, etc.
Should be professional and THANKFUL that a customer supported your business and bought your item. Kink related or not.

As for kink related. She doesn't know you, [obviously]
I'd of told her off for trying to be an "instadom"
Especially the threat of beating your ass.
Excuse my language but what a stupid b*tch.

This is just my opinion however.

DrKrall • Jul 14, 2020

This is amazing. I just had a really weird situation on a similar but smaller site.
I am selling 2 of the floggers I've made and a person local to me started asking questions, like if I had any other whips made from leather.
Then he asked why and if I had some other "interesting things" for sale. I pointed him towards the place in the Ukraine where I bought 5 really nice leather whips some time ago. Then he came back and asked if I could demonstrate some of the whips to him in person. I don't know why I didn't just tell him to get lost, but I told him I didn't have anyone to use them on at the moment, and he started asking me all these weird questions like why I was single, and why I didn't try to find a new girlfriend to use my whips on. He hasn't said anything threatening or shown agression yet, like in OP's case, but it's creepy as hell.

What's wrong with people on auction sites?

Empathy First

Marshalls Best​(dom male) • Jul 26, 2020

I've learned, both having interacted with and sadly behaved similarly myself, that people are often not aware of the energy that is exchanged in proper communication. Some people think that they are beyond reproach and, most often scammer know, that when you exude a sense of unflinching confidence that people will often not confront them with contradictory information. And this usually works to take your energy and thus leave you with out the mental capacity to argue. what happened with you it sounds like is that they weren't getting the proper response and energy from you as you held your ground which causes fear and insecurity in them to which they respond louder and harsher, waiting for that energy to come so they can win.
Some people often do this out of instinct from a lack of proper social adjustment. If they are more devious and clever, they will see they can't win and change a detail in the conversation that allows them to then reverse their position while saving face.
The later is then used to try and screw you some more should the opportunity arise, you'll hear passing the blame from them personally to eddy in QC or something and then upon establishing that the issue wasn't with them that they will try and groom you for another scam or sale by getting you to acknowledge and "Obvious proof" you can trust them and that they have you back then lay the ground work for the next scam either immediately or for in the future.
I think Ultimately you witnessed a perfect example of someone either:
- Dedicated loyal and stupid with poor social skills,
- Intentional deceitfulness,
Your snap at her got her attention from a conversation she was having in her head that you were supposed to provide the energy for. Often when I encounter people in these disconnected states who aren't listening when they should be, still expecting you to play along I pity them and do my best to glean if they are there running a scam knowingly, desperately, or blindly.
Then, if it comes to me, I offer a little jab or story pointing them to an example of how badly they are behaving and how its actually rather sad to so plainly see hoping that will marinate in their head and possibly be the straw the breaks the camels back so to speak and maybe they will change their ways.
Or shes just bat shit nuts, sorry for being long winded hope it offers a view maybe not yet considered.
Cheers