Which traits make a Dominant or submissive attractive?

Which traits make a Dominant or submissive attractive?

kajirasubm{On Hiatus } • Aug 27, 2020

We all have certain traits which make us appealing to one another.

I'm not referring to physical.

What is it about a Dominant that attracts you?
For submissives: which traits do you look for in a Dominant?

What is it about a submissive that attracts you?
For Dominants: which traits do you look for in a submissive?

niyamaiu​(sub female) • Aug 27, 2020

The willingness to learn more

Knightsundere​(sub male) • Aug 27, 2020

Competitiveness. I think subs are one of the few demographics that get on well with people who want to be the best at everything, lol. Also, being a compatible partner outside of fetish interests.

hopefulbabygirl​(sub female) • Aug 27, 2020

I find decisiveness attractive in a Dom. I’m not a fan of a Dom being “wishy-washy” (that’s southern speak for not making a decision and sticking to his guns) . I love how he makes a decision and steps up to handle any problem.

hank submissive male​(sub male) • Aug 27, 2020

Domme my case she would have to be firm but understanding and patient honest someone I could worship and respect and support her dreams and ideas. Wisdom and experience

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Aug 28, 2020

listening to what I am saying and not assuming, what I said. Hearing instead of just listening.

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} • Aug 28, 2020

The ability to have an intellectual conversation and form trust and honesty. The ability to be able to communicate - expressing and listening. I think this goes for both sides (my opinion).

Bunnie • Aug 28, 2020

“What is it about a Dominant that attracts you?”

The energy, the power exchange, the connection.
I love that stirring deep inside that recognises and responds to someone who’s dominance resonates with me.

Bunnie • Aug 28, 2020

“For submissives: which traits do you look for in a Dominant?”

I wasn’t going to answer this section of the question and then I happened across this writing, and was like “wow... this communicates so beautifully some of the characteristics, values and morals I appreciate in a Dominant,” so I figured I’d share it...

I appreciate a strong, confident, internally validated, powerful Dominant who can take me on a journey without me ever needing to question my desire to follow. A Dominant in a crowd who has the emotional intelligence and strength to speak and honour their truth. Someone with maturity and life vision who is working towards mastering their own emotional centre of gravity. Who will back themselves, even if it means disapproval from others, to find their centre and balance and momentum.

Someone who:

Walks the walk, rather than talking the talk. Rather than finding reasons why they can’t, instead finds ways they can.

Rather than choosing what is easy, seeking instant gratification, being able to wait for what feels right for them.

Understands the difference between lighting up not just my body, but also my mind and heart.

Rather than blaming others when things go wrong, resorting to fight or flight, passive or aggressiveness, will take responsibility and assert themselves.

Doesn’t run away from emotional pain, nor learning how to create emotional pleasure.

Isn’t intimidated by the success of others.

Rather than putting others down, prefers instead to lift other people up.

Rather than seeking permission from others, gives permission to themselves.

tohruhonda​(sub female) • Sep 9, 2020

That’s a great question. For me personally, a VERY attractive quality in a dom is quiet. Not silence, but the “I’m going to just enjoy watching this temper tantrum play out” kind of quiet. It’s a very sexy counterpart to my natural tendency towards needing to fight, struggle, or whine when I’m stressed. Almost ominous.