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High Pedestal and Expectations?

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Johnny slave sub​(sub male){I'd most w}
3 days ago • 09/15/2020 9:22 pm
Hello Ms. Global Goddess,
HI. ..I'm johnny and although I am truly a submissive male...the me I am is more than sub alone. There is more to me than that.
Likewise Ms. you are more than Dominant alone.
How does a particular male make you feel? Does he adore only your DOM nature or does he adore and fully appreciate all that you are?
We are all normal humans, but with differing natures.
In mainstream vanilla relationships, what makes any man so attracted to and stay with...perhaps marry a particular woman? He knows her, he cares about her, he loves her. They happen to get along well. It's the same for a sub male, but more than love...he adores as well. He sees her as being Superior to himself, he loves, honors, adores, and obeys her. Why? Cause he absolutely knows her, cares about her and loves her...for ALL that she is. Then too...if the 2 of you get along well....then why would either of you not feel happy together?
Just be you and take charge in and over all that you desire to hold authority. Don't fret about your sub seeing your natural humanity. He'll appreciate you more. The true sub will see you as you are, imperfections and all, but he will strive to treat you AS THOUGH YOU ARE PERFECT and your place will forever be as his Queen upon a pedestal.
You are a wonderful and Powerful woman, who is more than domineering. ..You are All WOMAN. Be proud of that reality.
tallslenderguy​(sub male)
3 days ago • 09/15/2020 10:22 pm

Re: High Pedestal and Expectations?

tallslenderguy​(sub male) • 09/15/2020 10:22 pm
Global Goddess wrote:


The question that I'm finally arriving at, is for Dommes, what is it that gives you confidence and keeps you from having imposter syndrome? I know experience will help with this, but as a newbie I'm curious if you have any other things that personally worked for you to sorta get the initial ball rolling. So that not only do the subs think you're worthy of being someone's owner or Mistress, but you believe it yourself. I'd also ask any subs what it is that makes them so attracted to and to stay with a Domme?


This just came back to the top of the forum discussions. i read it again and the re-read evoked another response.

For me, besides the (obvious of?) the person being a Dom by nature, it is their ability to be open, honest, real. This seems to come hard to some Dom people as they (erroneously i think) feel that the vulnerability that comes with those things is equal to 'weak,' (which is a decidedly un-dom feature). We live in an era where the "image is everything" notion has been heavily propagated, and adopted by many. It doesn't take much examination to discover that an "image" is just a facade. i'd suggest that it is more true that "substance is everything." Those who promote image may get the positive response they crave, but the only thing that benefits from that positive response is the image. The "real" person remains hidden, alone and unnurtured.

To me, the ultimate show of strength and power is the willful exercise of openness. For me, it's an aphrodisiac as well as a bonding agent. my primary desire (and i think this is pretty universal, even when unconscious) is connecting and bonding (to me, that's the real "bondage") to my Dom. i cannot do that with a facade, so ongoing openness is a primary factor that attracts and bonds me to a Dom.
Bunnie
3 days ago • 09/16/2020 4:01 am
Bunnie • 09/16/2020 4:01 am
“I'd also ask any subs what it is that makes them so attracted to and to stay with a Domme?”

If it’s ok to weigh-in on this a little...
As a submissive female to Dominant males, obviously this is not my area. My introduction into the lifestyle however, was very much enmeshed with Dominant Females. I am honoured to know some amazing Dommes who are an absolute inspiration to me as a female. This may seem contradictory to some, but to me it is not. These are people I have interacted with within my local communities, so there is no fantasy about it. They are just great people, and own themselves so beautifully.

In all honesty, I think a lot of the responsibility lays in the submissives hands as well. As difficult as it is not to in the newer days, it is their responsibility to not place unrealistic expectations on anyone. As many have suggested, by nature we can tend to worship our Dominants, however, there is a way of achieving that that isn’t the age-old “based on religion” type of worship. I believe that non-“romanticised” worship involves recognising and accepting flaws and all. Perhaps rather than worship we could call it unconditional love.
You deserve unconditional love, as we all do. Perhaps the obstacles are in finding a place of believing that... regardless of your stumbles.
The fact that you’re questioning this says a lot of positive things about you (imo). It suggests that you will strive to be the best leader you can be. How could anyone not admire that?

Regardless of what gender anyone identifies as, for me personally, I admire how well someone has faced themselves. When you think about it... that is where both our biggest triumphs and biggest challenges exist. It also then creates our ability to focus on the spaces between us and others, because we can do so with awareness.

I hope this makes sense.
tallslenderguy​(sub male)
3 days ago • 09/16/2020 4:24 am
tallslenderguy​(sub male) • 09/16/2020 4:24 am
Bunnie wrote: "As many have suggested, by nature we can tend to worship our Dominants, however, there is a way of achieving that that isn’t the age-old “based on religion” type of worship. I believe that realistic worship involves recognising and accepting flaws and all. Perhaps rather than worship we could call it unconditional love."

i appreciate this point. i stumble over the word "worship." i think, perhaps because of the religious association, that the idea of perfection is implicit in worship... which is unrealistic (read: "pretend"). i personally despise role play because this stuff is very real for me, so the term or 'playing' a 'role' literally offends me. This is strictly personal, i have no problem with others doing what works for them, but i never want a partner who plays a role for me or wants me to play a role.

So, where does that leave me with "worship" if worship doesn't honestly fit? i can answer that one easily, because i have experienced it and the word came to me instantly when i did: "adoration." i have not experienced it a lot in my life. It's not a generic thing for me that i just choose to do, it's a response that certain Dom's have surfaced in me. And it's even happened with a virtual stranger, hook up where i had to literally bite my mattress to keep from declaring my love for this Guy lol. i'm guessing He didn't know the effect He had, it was just who He was. A more connected situation was when the word "adoration" came to me. It was the only word that fit for me. But it was different than worship (for me). i cannot honestly picture myself worshipping anyone, that would involve self deception for me.