Does Money Matter?

simplylaura​(sub female){djinni} • Dec 2, 2020

:: Gets out the popcorn and slips into comfy jammies to see how this one goes::

Taramafor​(sub male) • Dec 2, 2020

Agreed. If you can't even say what, how or why, then you can't defend your own argument or opinion.

Pushing for honesty and truth will always matter more then money. If you're going to be piss poor, may as well know why. If you're rich and unhappy, then what's missing in your life?

With that logic in mind I ask everyone one simple question.

To those that have money. "Are you happy?"

To those that lack money. "Are you happy?"

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Dec 2, 2020

MalakaiY​(dom male)

Yes it matters, but it shouldn't though.
This kind of relates to male and female nature.

Women likes to "date up", and men like to "date down".
Women naturally want someone that is stronger, taller, and more powerful than she is.
Similarly, men tend to have a natural instinct to want someone smaller, weaker, and submissive.
..........................

Two things come to mind reading this.

1) Don't underestimate history and instinct. If you look into history and sociology you might see why these two predispositions might be there.

One consideration is that women had no power or possessions and had to marry up. They couldn't keep their own land if the male heir died.

Men had to procreate so they sought out younger women who could bear children longer. And live long enough to care for them.

Research on these points is easy to find.

Science is appreciating more and more our cell memory and the base instincts we inherited focused on survival.

We understand that animals inherited behaviors. Hunting breeds like Begals will instinctively point at an unknown sound without training. We're no different, our reactions to things can have deep and historical cell memory connections. We just exhibit it different and being brain oriented not instinct oriented we don't always appreciate that.

So even if your instincts direct you in the ways listed above, at some point integrity and character must plug in or you are just cliche'.

2) the other thing is how quickly we all answered without asking in what way the money would mattr.

We do seek out power exchange relationships and some have used money in that pursuit. So OP only you can decide if the money would matter to you and how. And only you can choose if you see others who wan your money as power exchange or manipulation.

ElizaEmma​(sub female){NotLooking} • Dec 2, 2020

I am looking at it from a different angle - how important is BDSM to you? What I mean is, for me, while I enjoy being a sub, professional achievement outweighs the pleasure from kinky activities by a large margin. If I had already invested the time, energy, and money in medical school and my career choice were to specialize in surgery, I would not let the potential of limiting the choice of Doms be a deterrent. (Not debating whether it is true or not that Doms hesitate to approach a high-earning sub). Doms come and go, your education and knowledge stay with you forever.

But that is just me and my opinion.

MalakaiY​(dom male) • Dec 2, 2020

@SubtleHush, I would like to add on to this if you wouldn't mind.

The point I was previously making is that men and women tend to have a natural way of thinking that defines their needs and how they view the world.
Sure, this is a generalization, but I think it's a decent representation of a majority of the population.
Like SubtleHush said, this is mostly due to how we're have survived as a species historically.

What we consider modern civilization is very short compared to the length of human history.
So even if one were to make the argument that we're evolved beyond that, it will be something that's far into the future.
Regardless of how sophisticated we think we are, we're still going to be bound by our animalistic nature/behaviors.
The only difference is that some of us are bound by this more than others. I'm just being realistic here.

============================
For OP's specific case, there's not enough information to answer the question. More context is needed.
What I will say is that, if you're significantly better off financially, make sure you're not being taken advantage of.
Make sure your relationships are mutually beneficial, and are not just one-sided(doesn't work well long-term).
There's no need to be paranoid, but it's something you need to be aware of.

(1) Assuming you are both financially stable, this should not be something that affects your relationship significantly.
It's kind of similar to how it is with looks or perceived beauty: It shouldn't matter significantly, but denying that it does is just lying.
In this case, focus on more important aspects of the relationship.
It may be a dom-sub relationship, but you two are still partners that need good understand, communication, etc...

(2) If your partner is not financially stable, it might matter a bit more, because then money and power becomes intertwined.
You will then need to figure out how much this will bother you, and how much this will bother your partner.
In my opinion, I think you should figure this out early, because as you get more and more emotionally invested, the more complex the situation becomes.

============================
[DISCLAIMER]
Before some of you spam me further, these are just my opinions based on the places and cultures I have experienced.
These are just the opinions of some guy on the Internet.
You are free to live however you wish, so please accept that people will have their different opinions.

TheWhorelock​(dom male) • Dec 3, 2020

The key in any power dynamic is consciously choosing to surrender. The most accomplished Master I know has three happy empowered submissives, all collared for more than two years now, the longest lasting of whom has been his slave for 20 years. If I understood his situation correctly, he has some of his submissives earning money for him and their household and he doesn’t even work much (well, for money. It also sounded like they all thought he worked super hard at their relationships). Personally, I think what is important isn’t what you do or don’t make, but how the quality of how the Dom/me leads and the conscious effort put into how the sub follows.

There is a natural power dynamic that comes with status and money, and yes that has to be addressed, the same way race, gender, age, and size and all other social power factors all need to be addressed too, as they set the stage for your dynamic. That doesn’t mean anything in terms of possible positive results though.

If you’re a woman who makes bank, and you want to be someone’s submissive, I think the only requirement is that you are conscious and clear about what you do and don’t want to surrender in relationship to your Dom/me. Which is just best practice for a sub in general anyways, whatever their situation.

It may be more comfortable for a rich man and a poorer woman to play in that sort of familiar power dynamic, but in truth those kinds of situations are also somewhat fraught, because when you exacerbate natural power dynamics that occur in society you actually run the risk of being unconsciously driven by them, rather than making conscious choices.

At the end of the day, you need to know two things.
1) What aspects of you and your life do you want to surrender?
2) What do you need in and from a leader?

If you know how and why you want to surrender in this way, it’s much much easier to understand how to work with those natural power dynamics. Honestly, most of the happiest and deeply satisfied subs I’ve met were high achieving women, because that which they surrendered was very much a conscious choice.

All in my experience and humble opinion.

I wish it didn’t

Virginie​(sub female){lcpw} • Dec 4, 2020

First I had to ask myself- are financial issues/ circumstances anyone else’s business- ever. In almost every case: friends, lovers, Doms- I’ve decided that they are not.
My family has always been a ‘no politics, no money’ discussions with others family. If someone were to visit and bring up their career- great! But dollars and cents? It was like a bad smell hit the room.
In any case I did test their( my family’s) theory and because financial issues were so interwoven with a huge step I was taking I opened up a bit about them.
NEVER AGAIN.
As long as no one is in crisis, or disclosing a criminal past- I can’t think of why money should be discussed unless it is connected to marriage or starting a business together etc.
If you’ve ever seen innocent flirting change your Dom’s disposition- lol try telling them the truth about your financial state if it is very different from theirs. Might as well take a metal bat to their ego. It sold-fashioned, sexist and ludicrous and in theory I’d love to disagree with myself, but having lived the ramifications of opening up, and then opening up a financial portfolio- I say- never do it.

wolfgang mephister​(dom male) • Dec 5, 2020

why would it matter ? I don't see that having anything to do with a relationship of any kind and all to do with insecurities issues

Re: I wish it didn’t

ElizaEmma​(sub female){NotLooking} • Dec 6, 2020

I have a comfortable income and would like to be with people comparable in financial situation just because I like to play in clean, nice, quiet houses instead of a mobile home in a trailer park, or when we travel, our idea of what an acceptable lodging is not vastly different, and that nobody stresses over the cost of a meal when dining out, and so on.

Not asking any Dom to support/subsidize me, just that I work too hard and too long to become accustomed to certain creature comfort and have no intention to go back to roughing it.

wolfgang mephister​(dom male) • Dec 6, 2020

.