Punishments

Curiousmind​(sub female){Owned} • Jan 26, 2021

@MelMell thank you for your response! It is so wonderful you approach each dynamic individually and apply punishments based on the each submissive personality/needs. I definitely fall into the category of those subs who are already punished by the fact of failing something my dom/master desired. To punish me on top of that would hurt me emotionally because the core of my submission is to please my master/dom. I am not scared of physical pain , it is the emotional side that could potentially have a huge adverse impact on me.

LordofPain56 • Jan 26, 2021

Funishments are different. To give an example; if a masochistic girl sub wants to have some fun with her sadistic Master tonight, she may expect an ass whipping with one of his soft "thuddy" floggers and a rough breast spanking before he drills her. Thats just normal playtime fun (funishment). She doesn't necessarily need to be a masochist, but submissive to his desires and enjoys pleasing him.

Punishments are an "execution of a sentence" which was prescribed for breaking the pre-established rules. The Master may have prescribed a number of possible punishments or combination thereof. He may still whip her, but this time it will be the stinging pon-pon flogger, which he knows that she hates. He may make her stand in the corner and be silent for the afternoon and left to think about how much her disobedience has displeased him. Those are real punishments. The intent is to give her a displeasing experience that will remind her never to break the rules again.

Curiousmind​(sub female){Owned} • Jan 26, 2021

@LordofPain56 thank you for your perspective on the topic! It is interesting to me how everyone perceives the subject of punishment/funishment.

My perspective: If i enjoy sexual pain it is not because i want to have fun with it... it is because i crave it, i long to experience sexual stimulation in the form of pain.

The given examples of true punishments you’ve given would hurt me on the deep psychological emotional level as i never ever intend to displease my Master/Dom and if unintentionally I couldn’t perform a task / an order due to my physical or another legitimate ability that fact on its own would be a punishment to me already, I would be very upset about it. To punish me on top of that would put me in despair like i am not good enough for my dom 😢. And by that i mean what i said in my initial forum post that I can’t understand how punishments can enrich a bdsm dynamic/relationship . But it’s just me and my perception, my needs and my personality.
If real punishments work in lots of other dynamics and if they make a couple stronger and more committed to each other than it is all that matters.

MountaintopMaster • Jan 26, 2021

Yup, for many people who get off on pain, the more "tame" stuff like spanking or even all types of light/moderate impact play are, indeed, "funishment" because even though to the vanilla world they might seem horribly degrading, or at least impossible to understand, they still ARE the thing that gets you off.

Thus, true "punishment" for such a person would be, of course, to WITHHOLD someone's nightly spanking, because they would be deprived of the thing they want, and that would be a far worse punishment than any pain might be.

It's really that simple. Different things turn us on, and once those thing become identified as pleasurable, it doesn't matter what the rest of the world thinks, they're not "punishment".

Although, just ask any submissive who has been in a long-term relationship with a sadist, or even just a Dom/Domme who indulges in their need for pain, ...and they'll tell you just how instantly they can feel the change in energy, when the "all in good fun" spankings go from playful to truly angry. That right there is a very, very dangerous way to utterly destroy a submissive, to have them in real tears of sadness/fear.

(And, I don't say that as one sadist giving tips to another. I say that as more of a Daddy Dom who would NEVER want to knowingly cause a submissive to have those feelings; I am much more about reward and encouragement than true punishment, let alone totally mentally breaking someone down.)

Curiousmind​(sub female){Owned} • Jan 26, 2021

Thank you for a beautiful response @ MountaintopMaster!

ErosRising​(dom male){Hekate} • Jan 26, 2021

I personally don’t like the term “funishment.” JS

~Psyche

Curiousmind​(sub female){Owned} • Jan 26, 2021

@ErosandPsyche so glad it is not just me who doesn’t like the term “funishment” 😊. I know it is just used terminology in bdsm but to me if pain used to intensify my pleasure, to empower me as a woman, to satisfy my need for it, I would personally choose a different word as saying it is for “fun” diminishes the meaning of it.
Why not to choose “pain for pleasure “ or “enhancement pain” or “desired pain” ...
Just my thoughts... i don’t have any intentions to change or influence well established bdsm rules/traditions as such 😊

ErosRising​(dom male){Hekate} • Jan 26, 2021

I feel the same. Kinda diminishes my need for it. I am driven by the need. It is one of the fundamental cravings that I have.

I’m confused a bit by the view that a sub shouldn't want punishment or discipline. I know I’m not going to be perfect even though I strive to be and when I‘m not, I want to be accountable in a way that brings intimidation and pain.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Jan 26, 2021

@Curiousmind​ Yes, it is sad sometimes. But when you do the work to be in a good relationship it is amazing. Lifestyles like this one always attract those who would take advantage. As we build experience we get better at spotting them.

That I why I encourage people to learn about their own needs and desires and then ask the right (if difficult) questions early on before power exchange enters in.

When talking to a sub who is seeking a fixer I remind them that people with their shit together do not take on projects. So the better we are the better the caliber of persons we meet.

Curiousmind​(sub female){Owned} • Jan 26, 2021

And how amazing @Psyche to have that special person ( dom/master ) who gets you, who understands your deep needs and driven by fulfilling mutual needs and desires, when you are so compatible with each other that what’s happening in the dynamic between you two always empowers you, builds you up, makes you better for each other and it doesn’t matter whether it is done through intimidation or pain you crave or any other ways as long as both of you draw satisfaction and fulfilment from such!
My best wishes to you in your explorations 🌺