Respectfully Why Male Subs?

Byrdie​(switch female){rl only} • May 13, 2018

I'm not a submissive male, but I will share how the manliness factor has been explained to me:

A lot of men will intentionally sign up for the arm forces - not drafted - and consent to be ordered, bossed, and to submit. Now, there's a lot about patriotism, but they could just go into politics for that and miss the bossing. Are military men any less "manly" because they consent to be bossed?

Similarly, knights in Ye Olden Tymes would compete for the chance to be a Queen's champion and take orders to go do things for her. This is a guy who would often be walking around with a sharp sword and would occasionally put on armor either for battle or to go out on a field to risk getting himself killed for the amusement of the Court. Are knights to be considered less "manly" because they were competing for the status of being bossed by royalty of any gender?

Butlers and other male house staff intentionally enter a life of service to be bossed by gentry or rich people, doing fairly nasty or intimate chores for them. They often used to be born into a life of service, and some still are and consider it a proud part of the family lineage. Are they any less "manly" for doing so?

If we trade pay for emotional and physical intimacy, is that where the "manly" factor gets odd for you?

The trust, vulnerability, and willingness to put aside ones preferences - not needs, not triggers, not boundaries, not negotiated requirements - for another takes a very special and strong type of person, no matter what their gender. I think that the difference between a submissive person and a dominant one has nothing to do with manliness so much as it has to do with what gives the person in question joy.

Subbyshade • May 13, 2018

For me submitting is letting the woman take control have the power and strength day in and day out I have to carry weight of world on my shoulders so to have her tell me those words to get on my knees or that I am hers just lifts that weigh I still have been trying to find a relationship that can be more then just her being dominate in sex but also some of the day to day life stuff but for me it's just feels right to submit

Sterenda​(switch female){{owned}} • Jun 17, 2018

For me it comes down to if a person carries themself with confidence enough to make me feel safe honestlly with typical males thats easier but i have been dommed by plenty other genders just fine for the same reason. responding to this beccuase for all intents and purposes i spent a lot of my life presenting as a gay or bi male

New male sub

Roro77​(sub male) • Dec 30, 2018

I can't wait till I can finally get the experience of being dominated and being humilated by women every time I watch it being done it instantly turns me on and I get so hard. I want to know how it feels to be power less over the situation to be used as someones personal sex slave to do whatever they wish to my body and to be forced into doing it. I want to be the bitch that slutty little bitch for a little while hope this makes sense to someone lol

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme){Allie Kat} • Dec 30, 2018

Why male submissives? Why female submissives? Why Doms? Dommes? Or... why vanilla?

We all have a personality. Everyone is different. And honestly? There is no "masculine" or "feminine" - they're all social constructs that dont matter and can change at any moment. Hell, high heels used to be for men - the higher and taller they were, the more powerful you were. And then women started wearing them, men were scared it would make them too "girly" if they continued to wear them, and now they're a "feminine" thing. Wooing a woman and making her feel like treasure was manly because it meant you were great and strong if you could dedicate yourself and get a woman to fall for you. Now the "manly" thing is to sleep with everyone you can cause numbers make you a man.

All of this is generalization of course, but that's what you were kind of doing in your initial post. Nothing wrong with that! Just trying to say, there is no reason to generalize.

Everyone is different.

Honestly? It takes a lot of strength and courage to submit. Especially in today's society where it's being so heavily pushed that submitting in any way is bad. Women need to stand up and take control. But men need to keep control. Its confusing, stupid, exhausting.

My husband for example, is a great example of why theres no one way to "be" based on your gender. Without saying it outright, he has what I would consider a "manly" job as, physically, it's hard for women to keep up (They can! Just saying, biologically, its harder. But I have insane amounts of respect for the women who can keep up). He likes "manly" things - working on cars, sports, working out (Okay, neither of us likes /doing/ the work out Haha, but we like the effects on our health and the feeling we get afterward). He likes being a man.

But, he also likes "girly" things. He likes wearing makeup and being in cuter outfits like skirts and dresses because they make him feel cute. He has a way better fashion sense than I do and his ability to see and match color is frigging ridiculously good. Hes super nurturing and would much rather be the "housewife", so he can care for the house.

None of that makes him any more or less "manly" than anyone else because, honestly, there is really no such thing as "manly". We as a species are just judgemental.

He submits because it makes him happier to please someone and assist than to take charge. Not to say he doesnt - he leads a /lot/ in his career. But, when he is home, with the one he loves, he doesnt /want/ to be in charge. He wants me to decide what is best, so he can do what he is amazing at - support and assist with the execution of whatever task is set. He isnt the best at starting to clean, but if I decide we are cleaning? He is so good at helping me to be motivated and to get it done. My cute little cheerleader. <3

I'm pretty "girly" to most, especially now that I'm starting to see the point of makeup and such. But, I dominate. I lead my family. Why? I hate not being in the know of /everything/. I hate plans being made without me because I dont know every little detail to make sure it's the right choice. I want to be able to know what is best for everyone, what everyone wants, and make the right decision for the family, instead of the individual. And I know I can do that safely, because I have my partner with me. I have the best support ever. We used to have a LOT of issues when we were vanilla because he would make plans with people without telling me, when I had plans already made, and I had no control over my emotions at that point so I would cry and kick my feet and make him feel bad (unintentionally). Now? Nothing is decided without me. I can alter my plans to fit in what he wants to do, or cancel mine on my own accord because it's not important, or tell him to plan the new thing for later because we cant change our current plans. And he is perfectly okay with that. We don't fight about things like that anymore.

It's all about what works for /you/. As an individual.

Usemeasyouseefit​(sub male) • May 25, 2019

Okay this will be the easiest for myself to word it. Also this is just my experience and why I switched from Dom to sub...

I'm 31yrs old disabled marine veteran and have always been the Dom in the relationship which lasted 10 years until I was in a terrible car accident and had multiple neck/spine surgeries that made me unable to work. Which resulted in making my daughters mother to finally work. She didn't want to so she cheated with a guy that was "rich"... Thinking like a marine I've felt useless.. being able to completely submit myself to a female makes me feel great because I'm really great at what I can do.

rosethorn​(sub female) • May 25, 2019

I can only really comment on a few occasions where I have Topped or tried to Domme, it simply isn't for me but i got to see and experiance such an intimate, tender and gentle nature that was given space to come out and be expressed. I do wonder if there are less opertunitys for that side of a man to be free and open if its there. (hope I've not cause offence or mis written anything by mistake). To my mind men are cute beautiful handsome sexy gorgeous adorable and amazing when comfy in there own skin, but we hardly ever use words like that, its normally handsome or rugged. Just my thoughts, please feel free to enlighten me. I tried to Domme im not one. As a sub i can understand a sense of freedom.

Lady Pheonix​(dom female) • May 25, 2019

Male does not mean dominant, as female does not mean submissive

the calling of your heart is not tied to gender, experience or age

it is bound to what is inside you personally

mrsunshine​(sub male){Looking} • May 27, 2019

In all honesty I find it much more manly to be able to have enough security in ones self to break societies rules on what is manly or not manly. Many times I see male doms as being scared little boys who are trying to prove to everyone how tough and masculine they are. I find it sad when a man enjoys hurting others on any level and actually gets off on such because it usually is a sign that they have felt so weak and powerless in every other aspect of their life. I enjoy submission for the same reason it’s because I am in control 99% of the time in my everyday life and play that role endlessly so to submit and be controlled is a refreshing break and change from norm

Unwavering effigy​(sub male) • May 27, 2019

I'm in control of my life absolutely all day. Having the ability to let go and embrace others commands. For me it's a fair and quantifiable exchange. They seek to control, and i seek to give it.

I'm certain if I wasnt in control of my life, I might want to dominate others. But I enjoy it because gratification and appreciation can be a cruel mistress. (if ya know what I mean)

This is my reason though. Purely my own perspective on my interests.