At which age did you realize your submission or Dominance?

slaveMikayla​(sub female){MstrJ } • Feb 20, 2021

I have always been who I am. My first relationship (13-15) had every hallmark of a fantastic and VERY healthy D/s relationship and every relationship since then has been an effort to get back to that to one degree or another. I did not have a "name" for it until I was 20 turning 21.

My ex husband finally told me what he was lacking in our relationship. He was a male submissive and wanted me to Domme him. Sadly, I could not be what he needed me to be, but in the process I found a name for myself and finally began to connect the dots that needed to be connected. It took a full 14 years past that to move from acknowledging my own submission to allowing myself to accept that I'm a slave hearted submissive; it is the root of the name "velveteen slave" once I understood what it truly meant and how deeply it impacted me, how it called to my soul and to the very fiber of me I could never ever deny it or be "unreal" again.

ADIDAS • Feb 27, 2021

I honestly don't remember not being turned on by kinks. As young as I can remember I would read paperback books of my mother's that had rough n' tough men taking precisely what they wanted from a woman regardless of whether she wanted to give it up or not. As I grew, before puberty, I believed that this was the "normal " interactions between men and women. As early as 7/8 years old I can remember playing, either alone or with a friend, kidnap and be tied up in a closet, spanked for trying to escape, ( being tied up, spanked made me/friends extremely hot!) As I grew through puberty then I discovered what those "hot " feelings were and expanded our play to include fingerings, objects inserted, more creative ways to be bound and tortured by my friends... ( mainly 2 that I shared this with during this time of my sexual growth) as I grew into my teens, I learned that girls are with boys and how vanilla sex went and that's how nice, good girls are. So I put all the fun I had been having away and found a boy, fell in love, got married. In my world, kinks and off the beaten path was terribly wrong!! Since I had the natural inclination to please within me, I turned my attention to what I was instructed was considered the "right" way , vanilla lifestyle. I'm still married to that boy, now an amazing, wonderful man and have been for 38 years this April. We've had the best marriage!!! EXCEPT.... his sexual preference is vanilla ( eeehhh, ok... that's why they make toys) AND his sex drive has always been stuck in low gear. THEN coming up on year 26ish in our marriage, his drive became nonexistent. We're madly in love with each other and we talk openly about this.... ah well, we shall see....👀

Twistedt • Apr 18, 2021

As a young child my brothers and I would tale turns tieing each other up. I enjoyed trying to get free. But I really enjoyed binding others so the couldn't get free.
I didn't realize how much I enjoy sexual submission until very recently.
The sexual dominance for me has been my default.

scoot​(masochist male) • Apr 18, 2021

I was in about 10th grade when I began to really realize where my interests lie.
I used to read scenes in books where heavy interrogation was part of the scene, I would really perk up watching a movie or a TV show where someone was tied up and "encouraged" to talk.
I would arrange with friends, both genders, to play out "Spy Movie" scenes from books or movies. I was the one invariably tied up and slapped around a little bit. Nothing quite like being 15 years old, wearing nothing but a swimsuit after having been stripped by my captors (it was planned so I made sure I was wearing a swimsuit) hands tied behind your back, being lead down the road by 2 guys and two girls, one of the girls playing "leader", the two guys playing guards, and the other girl acting as an interrogator, and out to a dock along the lake to play water torture interrogation.

I found that I really enjoyed the loss of control and the loss of choice during these scenes.
We didn't get too heavy. There was some minor slapping and pushing, with threats of "we'll make you talk" thrown in for good measure.
My involvement where the mental stress and the physical pain began about my late 20's.

Miki​(masochist female) • Apr 18, 2021

Wow folks got the shovels out today.. another months-ago thread brought to the fore.. But so far, worthy topics!

I'd say mid teens. I became active a bit earlier and discovered I enjoyed it "differently" when one date got a little rough.

He did properly ask me if he was too rough, so it was OK and on the level...

I found I liked it.

JerseyJackNJ​(sub male){uncollared} • Nov 12, 2021

When I was a little boy of 5, I remember seeing a movie where some man gets tied up by two burglers....and they set up a time bomb to get rid of him...that was a turn on to me....to be tied up tightly by someone...and tightly gagged. Next came seeing Penny, the daughter of Sky King...Lois Lane of Superman...and the women of soap operas get tied up and gagged. It wasn't until I was 16 when an older woman in my neighborhood became my DOMME...and I experienced the joy...and the titillation of being tied up for sex....tickling....and spankings.

When knee high gogo boots came out...and were worn by both high school and college baton twirlers...my boot fetish was turned on for life...

A bdsm D/s male submissive was created...

To any interested DOMME who wishes to reach out to me in the NYC area....if you wear leather boots....a leather leotard....and leather gloves....I will be like melted butter in your hands....for as long as you want.

BONDAGE AND DOMINANCE

Leatherforlace • Nov 13, 2021

Age 3
When a woman was tied up on tv ( black and white ) my mother would have to peel me off the screen and clean the drool off. Keep in mind you may not be smarter than your tottler. By the age of 11, I tied up the girl next door everyday. Before I was a teenager I was creative and had somewhat mastered bondage without the possibility of escape. When you feed something everyday...it grows really fast!

gracielove​(sub male) • Nov 13, 2021

For me it was my late 30's although I never pursued it until I was in my late 40's. Being a successful business man , controlling my world, I found letting go of my control was a safe peaceful place, a place where I could be my true self, my inner child and get lost in my own sub space🤗

Tail Spin{working on} • Nov 13, 2021

I didn't pay much attention I had seen satire and comedy bits in movies back in late 60s up through the early 80s like the pink Panter movies or an occasional skit on the smother brother Carol Burrnet it wasn't until the 80s and by chance running in to 2 sets of couples at a civil war reenactment that was rained out And being introduced to the world of swinging by said couples in a motel while it rained for 5 days that lead to my young single male self being permitted into the Club house in Nashville and being enlighten by alot of things including BDSM at 1st I laughed then was intrigued Now I dig it 👍 25

IronWorld​(sadist male) • Nov 13, 2021

I knew I had sadistic tendencies by middle school. Torture and torture devices always fascinated me. I daydreamed about mechanical traps and torture pits, and as my sexuality bloomed, my daydreaming victims were always women.

I was also unusually quiet for my size and I still am, but even as a child, sneaking up and scaring the shit out of people thrilled me as nothing else did. I remember playing on the playground in kindergarten when I would yell out "boys chase girls" and the girls would scream out - music. I never followed through with the actual game, but that initial reaction was such a thrill.

So yeah, my predilection for torment began REAL early.