MFM

MFM

Ravenclawgirl​(sub female) • Jun 22, 2021

Hello, just wondering if anyone has had a MFM and if so what was your experience like? How did it come about? Any advice? Or if you haven't had the experience do you have any opinions about the subject?

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Jun 22, 2021

What is MFM?

Is this male, female and male? do you mean in a dynamic, sex party, or what?

Steve DOM KENT UK​(dom male) • Jun 22, 2021

Ravenclawgirl ....... Had quite a few since I was 18 me as the Dom alpha male invited into the couple's life.


what was your experience like?
Wonderful as fulling my need and that of the couple wants. some long-term repeat visits over years.


How did it come about?
I had a need and in the days used contact books, and weed out the fakes and meet a few good cpls that wish for a dom Alpha experience.


BEFORE ANYONE SAY -
On some leaves it was swing but I was the one doing the control and had power over them and what happened in limits set.

OraclePollon​(sub female){NotYours} • Jun 23, 2021

MFM typically means a Vee, is that what you mean? in which case Steve's case is more a male unicorn or just general threesome (if it only happened once or was more random/sex party)
Could also be poly where the 2 males don't interact with each other (M-F touch and F-M touch for visual, but M-M don't touch which is why the order and not MMF or whatever... order is important ) A Vee is where all three are intimate with each other (though not always at the same time) like a thruple (which is technically 2 women 1 man.)

MrFulmen • Jun 23, 2021

Whut? Why on Earth would "thruple" be gendered? It's just a portmanteau of "three" and "couple." It means any relationship of three people.

..........................

I've enjoyed sexy/kinky times with multiple lovers or partners or sexy friends, and some of those times happened to involve two men and one woman. So I guess I've "had an MFM," though I never particularly thought of it that way.

It came about through building a community of kinky fuckers who I thought were fun and trustworthy and hot. And then, like, hanging out and flirting a lot.

My advice is to focus less on the gender configuration and more on the people. Find people who you click with, build real friendships with them, and genuine, hot, fulfilling sexytimes will suggest themselves. Starting with a fantasy of ONE (1) WOMAN and TWO (2) MEN, and then trying to find people to slot into it tends to end up feeling forced and awkward.

Grey Eyes​(sub female){Owned} • Jun 24, 2021

I had a six month long MFM relationship years ago. They didn't touch each other, and sometimes it was only one or the other. One of the two was highly Dominant, the other was his friend.

My experience was that it would be best if you enter into such a combination with people that you really click with as MrFulmen said above. It would have been a much more fulfilling relationship if I had connected well with both men, instead of one of them.

Oracle - I Had LONGTERM relationships with 3 couples

Steve DOM KENT UK​(dom male) • Jun 24, 2021

one of 7 y and one of 5 and a 2 y - plus fewer time couples - all was a mix of what you say and were the limits set before starting the scene before play.
I was always the DOMINANT of the couple in any play scene but the woman was the main receiver of any male attention in that scene played out.

testosteroneandtacos • Jun 24, 2021

I've been involved MFM. No sexuality between the men. The type of situation, and two you're going into it with, is important. I emphatically suggest a real discussion about expectations, boundaries, roles, access, and relationships outside the scenes. Even men who say they are experienced in that dynamic can become prickly, be insincere/immature, or feel threatened.

People can get really touchy about how they engage sexually. Some aren't expecting to witness first hand the character of another with someone they are currently active with. Much less the F level of engagement with you. Then they get uncomfortable. Some are more sensitive to the idea of feeling sidelined or left out, even for as little as minutes at a time. If it's a one time fling, go have fun and try to keep everyone included and go on your way.

I've been favored by women in this setting, which caused tension with the other M. If the other M considers theirself Dom and are immature about it, then they may not even ask whether you are interested or comfortable being beta'd or sub'd.

I had a guy who behaved as if I was his sub just because he had been the one to invite me for his sub. I knew him socially. Outside of scenes he became inconsiderate of me despite putting on a front, became very jealous when she loved being with me, then he began dictating my experience to me, talked down to me as if he was the great informer for everyone, tried to take complete control of access and narrative in every way.

He would give me little 'checks', and I mean like in hockey. Little pushes to assert himself. That woman was brand spanking new to the lifestyle and I wasn't entirely assured that he was being responsible. I tried to talk with him, but no engagement outside of telling me how Dom he is and listing all the women obsessed with him who he's going to fuck and have to accept him as master and not available LTR.

He created an air gap between her and I, then created a narrative that I had become obsessed with her and them and had to be removed. I never once asked to be involved, he invited me every time. I'm fairly certain he was concerned about her developing feelings (she clearly mentioned feelings and confusion over compartmentalising us), that he knew he wasn't in control when I was in the room with her attraction to me. She probably became concerned about his feelings getting hurt as well. I really wanted to avoid her getting caught in a 'bro battle', but I did become a little insistent that I have a conversation alone with her since I was increasingly concerned about his reactive and inconsiderate behaviour. I really just needed to know how she was doing and make sure she felt in control of her situation. Even in the sub way, or if he was veering into coercive control territory. I wanted her to know she had a community, not only this one flaky guy, for support if she wanted to explore herself and lifestyles.

I never gained access to have that conversation with her. Completely denied so much as a friendship with her. She may now have this cultivated idea, from him, of me as this unstable obsessive creep they made a mistake of getting involved. That still irks me. I value integrity. Mine and others.

Big ego trip. The thing is that he generally comes across as this nice guy socially. He puts a ton of energy into cultivating relationships with women he wants to fuck. He tries to be super friendly with guys in the open. Underneath though, I think he has a big issue with his insecurities and ego.

CSI • Jun 24, 2021

Seeing as how you didn't specify ltr or multiple meetings, I am going to go with the idea that it's a threesome for a one-time only thing (or more if it works out). One was random meet-up in a bar where two guys that were friends wanted to have sex. Two were set up by a top I was scening with, two were set up by a sex slave I had.

My advice would be to just have fun with it and don't overthink it. Go with the flow. It is best if the guys are at least comfortable with each other, and then you don't have to be planning and guiding. If they aren't comfortable with each other, it can get awkward, especially if they accidentally touch or want to do dp (and there will be touching).

I would say ultimately, the fantasy was better than the reality. It wasn't bad, but there are more moving parts when there is more than 2, and sometimes feelings get involved and sometimes people feel as though they don't get enough attention. Other times, one of the guys wants to just rush in, get off and leave (which is never good for anyone). So my recommendation is to just talk with the people involved, lay out guidelines and enjoy

I'mME • Sep 17, 2021

OP,
There is a 'community' and under the Bdsm umbrella comes kink, fetishes, D/s, M/s with the last two capable of being capable of being broken down even further.
Communities can and are often divided within that specific community for whatever reasons (human nature) old ways vs new comers who do not take the time to appreciate the history of how the community came to be, subs vs slave (what one is and one isn't) . The biggest difference between the kink/ Bdsm/lifestyle community and others is
thatany activities are illegal under the law.
Some believe the very nature of this community harbors more than it's fair share of abusers (of all types, I can not say . But there is also things that IMO, people do not discuss often enough. That is POS in the community. They could be the host of a party to the newcomer who acta great and everything but there is just that something about them. I'm not sure why people are always warning newbies and people that have loads of experience (and usually female) to listen to that inner voice. Thing is men have it too, we all do. So why then donr people in the community speak up more when they know someone is an abuser. Some may ask where do we draw the line. I say hogwash, people had a conscious hopefully before entering this realm, so stick to listening to that along with common sense couples with the basics of safety
In mind.
I did read your profile, and things you posted (it's a non guilty thing,reading what people's profiles, that serves part of my voyeuristic needs.
I saw that you mentioned community several times as being important to you and to be a part of.

I was similar to you in realizing that I had been engaging in kink and sometimes power exchange dynamics in the sexual arena for some years when someone showed me an alt site and told me I was dominant. Lol, I went right home (left him and his cameras placed all around his house) and put out a profile and never looked back. Afterwards he gave me a warning that I only had one opportunity to be with him and all his glorious dominance, I decided to let him watch my profile instead, heehee all in fun.

I started this post just wanting to mention this community a pitfalls and bad people, and want to be just like any other subset of the population. It took a little turn and please know that if you rather I took it and places it somewhere else I understand.

That's all (for now, I have things I need to express, but particularly this spot.